4LoveofJMJ Posted June 22, 2015 Share Posted June 22, 2015 (edited) Ok so I just got off the phone with a community that I had sent an inquiry to. Man was it awkward! I didn't expect the call so fast after I sent it in that I was mostly trying to think up things to say. There were times the line was silent. I haven't had a call go that bad in a long time. I thought that sending an inquiry was a good idea at the time but throughout the conversation I was thinking "why am I even calling?" I didn't have this trouble when I contacted another order. Why this one? Anyone else have this experience? Edited June 22, 2015 by 4LoveofJMJ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spem in alium Posted June 22, 2015 Share Posted June 22, 2015 I've not had that experience really, but I understand it would be difficult. What was the reason for them calling you? Perhaps part of the awkwardness this time round came because it was so unexpected. Regarding moments of silence, in my opinion it's sometimes far better to be silent than to speak just for the sake of saying something. And ultimately, be yourself - even if that means being awkward - and surrender everything to God. He knows your path, and He knows your heart. He is journeying with you. Place everything in His hands, even - and especially - during the awkward and uncomfortable times. My prayers are with you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vee Posted June 23, 2015 Share Posted June 23, 2015 A wonderful Dominican sister I know would likely say about such a situation that "its good for humility" If I have sent out an inquiry to a community i keep a little notebook around with some questions I have for them in it in case they call back. The notebook also gives me room to jot down any notes form the conversation as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4LoveofJMJ Posted June 23, 2015 Author Share Posted June 23, 2015 I've not had that experience really, but I understand it would be difficult. What was the reason for them calling you? Perhaps part of the awkwardness this time round came because it was so unexpected. Yes I think it was because it was so unexpected. I sent in the inquiry contact and did not expect to get such a quick reply. I think it kinda threw me off balance. When I picked up the phone, my sending in the inquiry contact didn't seem very thought out. Something inside of me just went "why not?" A wonderful Dominican sister I know would likely say about such a situation that "its good for humility" If I have sent out an inquiry to a community i keep a little notebook around with some questions I have for them in it in case they call back. The notebook also gives me room to jot down any notes form the conversation as well. That's a good idea! I might have to do that. My mind completely went blank when I started calling and that's not like me! The phone call with the Nashies went so well that this phone call being so rough just threw me for a loop. Could this be God's way of saying this community isn't for me? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HopefulHeart Posted June 23, 2015 Share Posted June 23, 2015 (edited) Awkward first contacts can be hard! I had my own experience when I sent an email to the Nashville VD as my first contact with the community. I started composing an email and typed the opening "Dear Sister." But then I inadvertently hit some keyboard command and sent the incomplete email! After getting over the embarrassment, I typed and sent my full email, in which I apologized for the previous one. I would hesitate to regard this single awkward experience as a sign that the community is not for you. You certainly want to be attentive to your feelings, but I think it would be worthwhile to give the community another chance. Also, vee's suggestion of using a notebook is very good. Edited June 23, 2015 by HopefulHeart Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vee Posted June 23, 2015 Share Posted June 23, 2015 Exactly, dont rule the community out over just this. One of the things to consider (after a visit) is does the community feel safe to you, and that includes how they handle you and other sisters making mistakes. EVERYONE makes mistakes not just newbie postulants, aspirants, and visitors. Nuns/sisters who have been living the life for fifty years will mess up. Visiting a convent one time I was worried I would drop some holy cards out of the breviary in the middle of the choir. it didnt happen to me but it did to an older sister and it was handled as if it were no problem someone just helped her pick them up. Is there care and concern or glares and impatience because we will all be messing up in little embarrassing ways until the day we die. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4LoveofJMJ Posted June 23, 2015 Author Share Posted June 23, 2015 Awkward first contacts can be hard! I had my own experience when I sent an email to the Nashville VD as my first contact with the community. I started composing an email and typed the opening "Dear Sister." But then I inadvertently hit some keyboard command and sent the incomplete email! After getting over the embarrassment, I typed and sent my full email, in which I apologized for the previous one. I would hesitate to regard this single awkward experience as a sign that the community is not for you. You certainly want to be attentive to your feelings, but I think it would be worthwhile to give the community another chance. Also, vee's suggestion of using a notebook is very good. Oh no HopefulHeart! I also had a bit of a rocky start with the Nashies. We had a long game of telephone tag before we were finally able to have a conversation. I was always in class whenever Sr. John Thomas called. They were so gracious about it though. I really enjoyed my visit with them! I might just have to pay another visit to them some time in the future. Thankfully the Sisters of St. Francis of the Martyrs of St. George are only two hours away so it will be easier and cheaper for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheresaThoma Posted June 23, 2015 Share Posted June 23, 2015 Oh boy akward first phone conversations.... I once was so nervous when leaving a voicemail for some Sisters that it made absolutely no sense and they couldn't even figure out my name. Fortunately the Vocation Director helped sort things out and we had a good laugh about it when I finally met the Sisters in person. So basically no matter how awkward the first phone conversation was or how randomly you submitted an inquiry don't take that as a sign you aren't called there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marigold Posted June 23, 2015 Share Posted June 23, 2015 Awkward first contacts can be hard! I had my own experience when I sent an email to the Nashville VD as my first contact with the community. I started composing an email and typed the opening "Dear Sister." But then I inadvertently hit some keyboard command and sent the incomplete email! After getting over the embarrassment, I typed and sent my full email, in which I apologized for the previous one. I would hesitate to regard this single awkward experience as a sign that the community is not for you. You certainly want to be attentive to your feelings, but I think it would be worthwhile to give the community another chance. Also, vee's suggestion of using a notebook is very good. That exact situation is why I never put the recipient until I am done writing the email! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AveMariaPurissima Posted June 23, 2015 Share Posted June 23, 2015 Exactly, dont rule the community out over just this. One of the things to consider (after a visit) is does the community feel safe to you, and that includes how they handle you and other sisters making mistakes. EVERYONE makes mistakes not just newbie postulants, aspirants, and visitors. Nuns/sisters who have been living the life for fifty years will mess up. Visiting a convent one time I was worried I would drop some holy cards out of the breviary in the middle of the choir. it didnt happen to me but it did to an older sister and it was handled as if it were no problem someone just helped her pick them up. Is there care and concern or glares and impatience because we will all be messing up in little embarrassing ways until the day we die. EXCELLENT point. That exact situation is why I never put the recipient until I am done writing the email! Same here!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yaatee Posted June 23, 2015 Share Posted June 23, 2015 (edited) EXCELLENT point. Same here!! Very wise. EXCELLENT point. Same here!! St. Therese's autobiography is filled with examples of tis in her rather dysfunctional carmel, in which she tactfully ignored or worked around others' lack of consideration. In one outstanding example, she assiduously tried to charm and cultivate a sister who was clearly mentally disturbed (and later left). These were examples of Therese's Little Way. Edited June 23, 2015 by Yaatee Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yaatee Posted June 23, 2015 Share Posted June 23, 2015 I think that the early response was what threw you off. No time to prepare the questions, get the notebook (v good idea!), you might have been in the middle of something. I don't think that this call means anything at all, except "Be Prepared!" It may be that you are actually attracted to this community. It may also be that they were a little too quick in their response. Non-discerners often encounter "awkwardness" on a first date, which quickly resolves. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marigold Posted June 24, 2015 Share Posted June 24, 2015 I think that the early response was what threw you off. No time to prepare the questions, get the notebook (v good idea!), you might have been in the middle of something. I don't think that this call means anything at all, except "Be Prepared!" It may be that you are actually attracted to this community. It may also be that they were a little too quick in their response. Non-discerners often encounter "awkwardness" on a first date, which quickly resolves. Agreed By the way, good to see your profile pic, Yaatee! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yaatee Posted June 24, 2015 Share Posted June 24, 2015 ..the Ancient of Days! Now, what about yours? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swami Mommy Posted June 24, 2015 Share Posted June 24, 2015 (edited) Just as an adjunct to the suggestion to keep a notebook with questions at the ready, what are some of the specific questions discerners may want to ask about a community, about opportunities for vocational retreats on-site, about general requirements, about the application process, about the charism of the community and possible educational background requirements to meet the community's needs, about the current size of the formation group, etc.? Edited June 24, 2015 by Swami Mommy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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