living in the world

[MarysLittleFlower]

For those who are discerning religious life but are for now living in the world... or for those who have discerned that God wants them to live in the world but be consecrated in some way... how do you deal with distractions that come with this?

It seems lately this has been an area of struggle for me. I work a very active job - I mean it's active for me, as I have a quiet temperament. I need to travel a lot using public transportation to get to and from my job. I live downtown in a city. And lately all of it - the job, travelling, busses, the city, fashions, seeing crowds everywhere, constant noise - I don't want to complain but I'd LOVE to take some time and just go on a silent retreat somewhere! It makes me just want religious life so much more - hopefully not to run away from all this, but because I just want to be alone with God. Does anyone ever feel like that? I don't have money for a retreat sadly, and they all seem far away, except one that is happening now but I couldn't go on. Maybe in a few months. I'd love to visit a retreat at a convent in addition to visiting communities, just to be away in a different setting for a bit that is less 'hectic'.

I try to follow a type of life where I have time to pray during the day.. time to go to Mass, visit the Blessed Sacrament, do some mental prayer, etc. It's pretty quiet at home. However, lately I've been soo busy that my prayer life has suffered. I'm wondering is it normal to feel this way and how do you deal with it as a person living in the world? I wish I could be like those saints who wanted some silence and solitude and just went and found some lonely cave or place in the forest... like St Francis! This is very hard to come by around here, or maybe times have changed what do you do when you just want to "get away" for a bit?

[Charbel]

J.M.+J.T.

Oh, yes. I know that feeling all to well. To be alone with your beloved, that is the greatest desire! I came across this quote from Saint Clare, it may provide some consolation:

"Our labor here is brief, but the reward is eternal.  Do not be disturbed by the clamor of the world, which passes like a shadow." (St. Clare of Assisi)

Too have some "quiet time" with Jesus I think sometimes going in the early morn or late evening to the Blessed Sacrament is a good way to get some of that solitude, some of that silence, as there are usually no or only a few people there too, who are also craving that silence. I don't drive, so this is something that is difficult for me to do.

Something I CAN do is retreat to a room (solitude) and go within myself to meet my Jesus within my heart, which can become like a "cloister". You can read more about that here: http://www.thecloisteredheart.org/

On that website can lead you to her book http://www.amazon.com/Cloistered-Heart-Nancy-Shuman/dp/1466494581

Lastly I would encourage you not to become discouraged at your situation, but to accept these distractions in silence and in resignation as a part of your cross, which you so loving accept for love of your God  Also remember that no matter how busy you are pray, pray , PRAY. Keep some time throughout the day to frequently meet Jesus in prayer. God will certainly reward you for having endured these hardships. You can try many things as an alternative to a retreat, at least until you can go one. God often asks us to be patient, work with Him!

May He keep you in His Sacred Heart!

(As I wrote this, it may give you a chuckle to know that there was loud screaming  and excited laughter in the background. Oh, when college kids return!)

[vee]

 

 

(As I wrote this, it may give you a chuckle to know that there was loud screaming  and excited laughter in the background. Oh, when college kids return!)

​As I was thinking of what to write for a reply my neighbor started practicing his banjo

[BarbTherese]

The task for many living in the world is to be aware of God in the midst of what in classical terms seems to be 'distractions'.  If I regard the noise and clamor around me as distractions, then that is what it will be for me I think.  If I have a desire to hear and be aware of God in the midst of so called distractions, then I will begin to experience things differently.  Some might be called out of the world to experience the God Who Is Silence - others are called into the world for the world to experience The God who created and loved passionately His world.  This does not mean that one never experiences The God Who Is Silence.  I also think that in experiencing The God Who Is Silence, I will come to appreciate how He is present too in His World.

Regarding the world as always a total distraction reflects a spirituality of the past, wherein it was rarely sighted in a revealed sort of manner that God loved and created the world and can be experienced in the midst of it.

Something like that I think.

MLF - If God is calling you out of His World to experience He Who Is Silence, then I can well imagine that needing to be in the world for some reason would be a trial and a cross often.  But insofar as you are unable justly to leave the world as you desire, then be assured that God wants/permits you in His world for some reason.  My will or His Will.

[MarysLittleFlower]

The task for many living in the world is to be aware of God in the midst of what in classical terms seems to be 'distractions'.  If I regard the noise and clamor around me as distractions, then that is what it will be for me I think.  If I have a desire to hear and be aware of God in the midst of so called distractions, then I will begin to experience things differently.  Some might be called out of the world to experience the God Who Is Silence - others are called into the world for the world to experience The God who created and loved passionately His world.  This does not mean that one never experiences The God Who Is Silence.  I also think that in experiencing The God Who Is Silence, I will come to appreciate how He is present too in His World.

Regarding the world as always a total distraction reflects a spirituality of the past, wherein it was rarely sighted in a revealed sort of manner that God loved and created the world and can be experienced in the midst of it.

Something like that I think.

MLF - If God is calling you out of His World to experience He Who Is Silence, then I can well imagine that needing to be in the world for some reason would be a trial and a cross often.  But insofar as you are unable justly to leave the world as you desire, then be assured that God wants/permits you in His world for some reason.  My will or His Will.

Barbara Therese, thanks for the reply! to be honest I don't really think of spiritualities belonging to the past or the present... Maybe its the 'trad' in me but I see spiritualities as always applicable I don't recall the old authors talking about God's creation being distracting and its not distracting to me, though as you said people can be called to being in silence there are also books of really traditional spirituality that talk about finding God in every circumstance, offering Him work as prayer, and being in a little 'cell' with Him in your heart amidst the world I believe St Catherine of Siena mentioned this... However just to clarify, what I mean is something else... Not just my duties or being among people, - which is up to God if He wants me to stay here or not in the future and I'll do His Will though I really wish for silence and being alone with Him... But what I meant are all the things that are usually called "the world" - worldly things that are part of society but not Creation as God made it. For me in my surroundings this is - vain or immodest fashions, worldly entertainments (rather than more interesting types of recreation), loud dance music with rather bad (or banal) lyrics..Materialism, malls, worldly conversations, etc. Stuff that is 'worldly". That is what I'm surrounded by often and it wearies the soul. If it was nature or if its just everyday life (cooking, cleaning), that doesn't cause this type of suffering though sometimes there is a desire for prayer in the midst of it. Hope that makes sense  

Edited June 20, 2015 by MarysLittleFlower

[MarysLittleFlower]

J.M.+J.T.

Oh, yes. I know that feeling all to well. To be alone with your beloved, that is the greatest desire! I came across this quote from Saint Clare, it may provide some consolation:

"Our labor here is brief, but the reward is eternal.  Do not be disturbed by the clamor of the world, which passes like a shadow." (St. Clare of Assisi)

Too have some "quiet time" with Jesus I think sometimes going in the early morn or late evening to the Blessed Sacrament is a good way to get some of that solitude, some of that silence, as there are usually no or only a few people there too, who are also craving that silence. I don't drive, so this is something that is difficult for me to do.

Something I CAN do is retreat to a room (solitude) and go within myself to meet my Jesus within my heart, which can become like a "cloister". You can read more about that here: http://www.thecloisteredheart.org/

On that website can lead you to her book http://www.amazon.com/Cloistered-Heart-Nancy-Shuman/dp/1466494581

Lastly I would encourage you not to become discouraged at your situation, but to accept these distractions in silence and in resignation as a part of your cross, which you so loving accept for love of your God  Also remember that no matter how busy you are pray, pray , PRAY. Keep some time throughout the day to frequently meet Jesus in prayer. God will certainly reward you for having endured these hardships. You can try many things as an alternative to a retreat, at least until you can go one. God often asks us to be patient, work with Him!

May He keep you in His Sacred Heart!

(As I wrote this, it may give you a chuckle to know that there was loud screaming  and excited laughter in the background. Oh, when college kids return!)

Thanks Charbel! I like the idea of the inner 'cloister'. Yes that's what its like just wanting to be with Him. I would usually try to go visit the Blessed Sacrament before my day begins and when I'm done work I feel a need to return... Haha. Especially after so much noise. God bless!

Edited June 20, 2015 by MarysLittleFlower

[BarbTherese]

Barbara Therese, thanks for the reply! to be honest I don't really think of spiritualities belonging to the past or the present... Maybe its the 'trad' in me but I see spiritualities as always applicable I don't recall the old authors talking about God's creation being distracting and its not distracting to me, though as you said people can be called to being in silence there are also books of really traditional spirituality that talk about finding God in every circumstance, offering Him work as prayer, and being in a little 'cell' with Him in your heart amidst the world I believe St Catherine of Siena mentioned this... However just to clarify, what I mean is something else... Not just my duties or being among people, - which is up to God if He wants me to stay here or not in the future and I'll do His Will though I really wish for silence and being alone with Him... But what I meant are all the things that are usually called "the world" - worldly things that are part of society but not Creation as God made it. For me in my surroundings this is - vain or immodest fashions, worldly entertainments (rather than more interesting types of recreation), loud dance music with rather bad (or banal) lyrics..Materialism, malls, worldly conversations, etc. Stuff that is 'worldly". That is what I'm surrounded by often and it wearies the soul. If it was nature or if its just everyday life (cooking, cleaning), that doesn't cause this type of suffering though sometimes there is a desire for prayer in the midst of it. Hope that makes sense  

 Yes, MLF, it certainly does make sense.  I love that classical spirituality of old - and am a discerning embracer of it all I hope.  I have been called into the world for the world (private vows) and I can experience perhaps much in the world as you describe it above - the challenge to me in my vocation is to hear The Lord in the midst of it all calling His world back to Him .......and hearing Him, to respond accordingly.  Such hearing (as it were) does not make the "worldly stuff" any easier to bear, but bear it I know I must as I strive to speak to the world in some way calling God's world back to Him be my 'voice' ever so small and even seemingly fruitless.  It can weary my soul no end too where God's world seems to be missing the point of its existence altogether.  Sometimes in the midst of it all (not often and never at my bidding), it is as if I was 'touched' somehow and a Peace and Silence descends and embraces all in that Peace and Silence. 

The problem, to me, of that "spirituality of the past" is that the world was largely regarded as tainted and to be rejected - and not conducive to a fully lived spiritual life in every way including the heights of contemplation - and I think that attitude can still affect us in various ways.  This is not to state that there were no exceptions to that rule amongst our saints.  We find God not only in the midst of our pots and pans but also in all the messy clamour and noise, even madness, of existence in a world seemingly careering rather often into more madness, as it were.  Nowadays, we are called to regard the world for what it is - God's creation that He loves so passionately and still does, He incarnates to live as one of us and to die terribly to redeem us and restore us as His children and people.  God loves and cherishes His world and calls it back to His Loving and Merciful Embrace and He chooses to act through us.

Father, forgive us all, we surely know not what we do

​

[NadaTeTurbe]

I will write a longer answer later, but in the morning, I try to pray for all the people I see in the bus or metro by name : "Lord, give patience to this lady with her son..." I pray the Sacred Heart of Jesus and the Immaculate Heart of Mary for them. When I feel stressed, I listen to Bach, often the daily canticle. I take the translation, and I meditate on what Bach wanted to tell me.  

[beatitude]

Everywhere we go we will run into distractions, even in a monastery, and distractions there can be just as frustrating and upsetting as distractions in a shopping mall. For me one of my biggest distractions is actually the ideal of religious life - last night I was watching a beautiful video of the Carmelite Sisters of the Divine Heart of Jesus, who take care of abused and neglected children, and as I heard them chanting the Divine Office I was thinking wistfully, "Perhaps this is my call. I should at least visit them. I love Carmel, I want to help hurting children..." But if I am honest with myself, this desire pops up when I'm tired out, stressed, and muddling through my days feeling as though I'm only doing half of what I ought in terms of prayer and mission (and doing that half badly). I start to imagine how wonderful it must be to wake up to Lauds in common and silent prayer, to think how much more love I could give to God and neighbour if I had a clear convent horarium to follow and the instructions of my prioress.

Then I remember that religious sisters feel tired, stressed, and muddly too.  Spiritually we are all like preschoolers who try so hard to focus on a task but who then glimpse something else out of the corner of their eye and think, "Ooh, shiny!" The only way to answer distractions is to persevere, even when what we're doing doesn't feel satisfying. We need patience, with others and with ourselves, and a commitment to living in the present moment and making it holy. One example of how I try to do this comes in my language classes, which are three hours long and often a bit wearing. I used to keep surreptitiously checking my watch to see how long was left. I don't do that any more (well, I try not to - sometimes I don't succeed ). Instead, when I catch my attention slipping, I thank God for the class and ask him to help me learn. Mother Teresa used to say that the person in front of her was always Christ for her, becoming the only person in the world at that moment. I try to cultivate this same attitude, because in my experience yearning for a different future is far more destructive than the distractions presented by shopping malls and cinemas - it's possible to let years slip by while you're thinking to yourself, "Once I'm in the convent, living my vocation, things will be different." But our vocation is now, this very second. When I catch myself getting distracted by anything, I pray, "Jesus, help me to find you here" or simply, "Here I am, Lord."

It is important to make time for regular prayer, every day. However, it is not realistic to think you can replicate even one-half of the life of a nun in your home. Trying to do so is not necessarily being prayerful, but a way of shirking your responsibilities now, which are also a form of prayer. I used to work in a busy inpatient ward for people with dementia, and the awkward shift patterns and very long hours meant that I had limited time to pray and was too tired to focus properly even when I had it. One day I was thinking how much I missed daily Adoration and how I wished I could get to confession more often, and was feeling a bit sorry for myself that I couldn't. That day I was working with an elderly lady who had a reputation on the ward for being extremely 'difficult' and who needed someone sitting with her 24/7. Sarah was demanding and noisy and the nurses would say things to each other such as, "Who's with Sarah next? No, Helen, you had her this morning, you need a break from her. I'll do it." I felt it was wrong to treat Sarah as a duty, even though she was admittedly a very tiring person to sit with, and I made a point of quietly volunteering to be with her as much as I could. That tiring day, when I was already cross over my busy schedule and lack of time for silent prayer, Sarah's behaviour was especially challenging. It was hard not to show my tiredness and my impatience, to keep my voice soft. As I settled her on her bed for an afternoon nap, she suddenly took my hand, pressed it to her cheek, opened her eyes and said, "I'm so thankful for you." She fell asleep holding my hand. That was when I realised I'd been praying all the time, even when I didn't 'feel' it, because I had sincerely wanted to see Christ in Sarah and to treat her as she deserved to be treated, not as a burden but as a real person who needed kindness. Yes, it's hard. It usually feels more satisfying to kneel in silence with a Bible than to pray like this. But if it's what God's asking you to do, you do it - you don't think about how much better it would be if you weren't so busy. You find ways to pray in the busyness.

Edited June 20, 2015 by beatitude

[NadaTeTurbe]

THis is so beautiful, beatitude ! Your last part, with Sarah, make me think of what Saint Vincent de Paul said : once, a Daughter asked him what to do if a poor came to the home while they were praying. Monsieur Vincent answered : "Then help him, because this is prayer than helping the poor". 

[marigold]

I feel you, MLF and others.  This is where I'm at right now, and it's frustrating in many ways, and I make it worse for myself by becoming so discouraged that I don't use the freedoms and privacy I could have while still in the world!

What brings me peace is telling God that I will keep going, however slowly; just focus on this hour, these people, this next mealtime. Feeling sorry for myself because I don't want to be caught up in commerce and things that don't matter - that doesn't help my spiritual life, it hinders it. I had to stop trying to understand why my life is the way it is. Rushing around at work, I can't pray in words, but I can think, 'I accept, I accept...' Whatever God wants to bring into my life, I accept, I accept...

"By taking one small step at a time, and by not thinking that in one big leap we are going to get any place, we can walk straight to the Kingdom of Heaven - and there is no reason for any of us to fall away from that."

- Fr. Seraphim (Rose)

[BarbTherese]

Went to Vigil Mass tonight and I think that today's Gospel might have something to say to the subject of this thread. http://www.usccb.org/bible/readings/062115.cfm

For the apostles in the face of the adverse, they were afraid.  For us in the face of the adverse it could be fear, boredom, frustration, confusion - any one of a range of negative emotions.  The reply of Jesus is "Why are you .............., do you not yet have Faith?"  Faith might come easy when things are going my way and I am content...............Faith is tested and made strong, indeed shows it's mettle, in adversity - when things are not as I would have them.  St John of The Cross tells us that Unity is in the will through Faith.  We are creatures of feeling and that is our natural state, Faith in the will through Grace is a supernatural state...............above nature.  Initially at least such a supernatural state would be the unfamiliar and even difficult.

Edited June 20, 2015 by BarbaraTherese

[vee]

One thing that helps me is to make a morning offering.  It doesnt have to be a big fancy prayer just something offering your day to  God and dedicating all you do to Him, for the salvation of souls and in reparation for sins etc.  Then when you get distracted and so forth you know that He knows your intentions and that you are trying. 

I also handle things by whining to my best friend and/or my saint friends, and sooner or later an answer will come or another grace that helps.

[MarysLittleFlower]

 Yes, MLF, it certainly does make sense.  I love that classical spirituality of old - and am a discerning embracer of it all I hope.  I have been called into the world for the world (private vows) and I can experience perhaps much in the world as you describe it above - the challenge to me in my vocation is to hear The Lord in the midst of it all calling His world back to Him .......and hearing Him, to respond accordingly.  Such hearing (as it were) does not make the "worldly stuff" any easier to bear, but bear it I know I must as I strive to speak to the world in some way calling God's world back to Him be my 'voice' ever so small and even seemingly fruitless.  It can weary my soul no end too where God's world seems to be missing the point of its existence altogether.  Sometimes in the midst of it all (not often and never at my bidding), it is as if I was 'touched' somehow and a Peace and Silence descends and embraces all in that Peace and Silence. 

The problem, to me, of that "spirituality of the past" is that the world was largely regarded as tainted and to be rejected - and not conducive to a fully lived spiritual life in every way including the heights of contemplation - and I think that attitude can still affect us in various ways.  This is not to state that there were no exceptions to that rule amongst our saints.  We find God not only in the midst of our pots and pans but also in all the messy clamour and noise, even madness, of existence in a world seemingly careering rather often into more madness, as it were.  Nowadays, we are called to regard the world for what it is - God's creation that He loves so passionately and still does, He incarnates to live as one of us and to die terribly to redeem us and restore us as His children and people.  God loves and cherishes His world and calls it back to His Loving and Merciful Embrace and He chooses to act through us.

Father, forgive us all, we surely know not what we do

​

Thanks for the reply Barbara... I thought it might help if I described it this way to see where I'm coming from. When I became Catholic I felt drawn to very traditional things like devotions, Latin Mass etc and then I heard some views about this is how things "used to be " and now Catholicism is different... And that almost made me have a crisis of faith and I almost didn't become Catholic, because I thought - the Catholicism that I got to know and love doesn't exist! Later on I figured out that actually all the things I got to love are still very much there and were not abrogated. But the whole experience affected me and now I tend to just stick to traditional things though I accept everything from God that has appeared recently too like devotions or Saints. so in my mind there is no "old Catholicism" and "new Catholicism", I don't believe in having a rupture and for me everything Catholic is just simple Catholicism and all true whether old or formulated recently. I did read of "old" Saints talking about sanctifying each moment and work and that anything can be used for sanctification... I actually think that's a very 'traditional' idea - even if its now more popular today, it was talked about in the older books. so I do believe in fact that we can become Saints anywhere if we do God's Will. However I also believe that there's a reason why religious contemplative life is considered objectively 'higher' though we should only seek God's Will without caring how exalted our mission is... And I think if someone lives in the world it might be harder for them.. I read in the Soul of the Apostolate that their work would still sancify them and they can grow where they are... But they also need an interior life and that can be harder to reach though they can reach it if they try but shouldn't get entangled in thorns - worldly cares etc. I find that work itself and creation in general and people doesn't distract me much if I keep my interior life but I need to work on that. I can try to see God in it like you mentioned though at times I just want to be with Him. But everything worldly does distract me if I willingly participate and I do those things as tainted by sin - all the parties, fashions, consumerism... I can of thepeople there and how God sees them but seeing it all brings a certain grief. Creation isn't bad... Neither is work.. But I don't 'worldliness' as something in the same category, - it is in creation too but it seems to come from the fall. If I go to a worldly place I can only relate my faith to it by contrasting it and thinking instead of God or the people... But the vanity of it is sad. I distinguish that sort of thing from creation... I think its good to see the good in people there or anything that is good, recognising it, but the rest of it just feels so contrary to virtues. Do you have any thoughts? Maybe we are talking about different things... I don't mean how I see people... Or life in the world in general... But very worldly vain or materialistic things especially around me as a young person.. 

Edited June 20, 2015 by MarysLittleFlower

[MarysLittleFlower]

I wanted to just add that when I spoke about wanting to avoid those types of activities I don't at all mean to shun or look down on the people there... I believe God wants us to show love to every person whoever they are and bring them to Him