At what point do you stop asking priests for advice on what to do, and just DO SOMETHING?

[keeweebee]

Uhh I don't know if this is the right place for this, but what the hey, here goes.

I am in kind of a weird, nuanced situation involving cooperation with evil at work and I'm just stuck on what to do about it after literally weeks of debating with myself. Basically, I've asked a few people about it. Two people (one, my parish priest who I think is neither very conservative or very liberal, and two...my mom) have said I have no culpability and I'm being overly scrupulous (looooong history of scrupulosity here). I rather wondered after asking my parish priest, though, whether I had explained the situation properly. One other priest (one of the Legionaries of Christ so...maybe really conservative?) told me my cooperation is proximate enough that I should strongly consider abstaining from this particular action. So based on this very opposite advice, I'm thoroughly confused and quite anxious to the point of feeling physically ill when I think about it. So I've been avoiding it for a week or two and hoping I'd come to a decision somehow. And I kinda have to make a decision about what to do tomorrow, as the due date for this particular, uh, project at work is tomorrow. I've prayed about it, of course, but being scrupulous kind of confuses things--I interpret every other Bible verse as a message to NOT DO THE THING when it's probably just a Bible verse, and so I can't really tell the difference between God talking and my own brain talking, you know?

I so badly want to do the right thing but I can't just ask EVERY SINGLE PRIEST I know what to do all the time; I should be able to make moral decisions on my own, right? I mean, to what degree are we expected to seek out "professional" advice and counsel vs. making our own decisions? For example, would I be obligated to call a priest tomorrow morning? That seems so extreme. If I'm unsure if something is sinful, must I find out for certain whether it is or not before doing it?

Also, I won't go into detail about the situation here, as it could be identifying if someone I know were to see it, BUT if you are curious/want to give an opinion/know a lot about determining cooperation with evil, messages are welcome  

[Nihil Obstat]

My initial thought is that you have gone to pretty great lengths to inform your conscience. You deserve credit for that effort. Second, if you do suffer from scrupulosity it is doubly important to trust in the judgements of your superiors.

The conflicting advice from different priests makes it somewhat more difficult, but such differences of opinion are not unheard of.

My opinion would be this: decide now which priest's judgement you trust better, and do what he advised. For future reference, find a priest whom you trust implicitly, decide this in advance, and determine to follow his judgements whenever you are conflicted. When you seek out good and holy priests and follow their advice, in my opinion it is hard to truly go astray.

In terms of cooperation with evil, if you have the time and a bit of experience reading philosophy, do read through Veritatis Splendor by Pope St. John Paul II.

[keeweebee]

Thanks! I guess one of the symptoms of scrupulosity is never feeling like you've informed your conscience quite enough, so that's comforting.

I am still rather unsure which priest I trust more, but hopefully I'll come to a decision by tomorrow! I think I'll pray about it a bit before bed, and trust God to let me know what to do.

And thanks for the reading material! I skimmed through it and it looks pretty lengthy but based on what I saw, full of interesting info so you can be sure I'll be checking that out soon.

[Maggyie]

I hope you've managed to come to a decision and have been able to stay peaceful. 

Can I gently suggest that besides finding a good priest to guide you spiritually, a regular old psychiatrist might be a good resource too! This is an anxiety disorder and needs medical treatment to get better. 

[Ash Wednesday]

I went through some bouts of scrupulosity when I was growing in my faith some years ago and also dated a man with severe scrupulosity. I found the following from Liguori to be very helpful. 

http://mission.liguori.org/newsletters/scrupanon.htm 

http://www.liguori.org/understanding-scrupulosity.html

The best way to battle scrupulosity is a well formed conscience and a regular confessor. There's always a tendency for a scrupulant to want to "shop around" and get different opinions from different priests, and really all that it does is tie you in knots. Stick with one priest. At some point when confronted with certain grey areas in life, a priest can't give you every answer...you really just have to prayerfully make decisions on your own and then place your trust in God. He knows our hearts, and I really do not believe a faithful Catholic doing their absolute best to do the right thing gets sent to hell on some grey little technicality.

"Pray, hope, and don't worry" --Padre Pio

Edited June 6, 2015 by Ash Wednesday

[hotpink]

One of the first things you do is to stop posting it around the internet.

You aren't going to find your answers here, or on CAtholic Answers or on other sites that you may have used, too.  All you will get is flawed advice on how others have delt with it.

Priests are great people and their ablity to advise on scruproulsy varies a great deal because priests are not well trained in psycological matters during seminary.  I belive 99% of priets have good intentions, but many of those...maybe only a quarter...know how to react to situations where there's deep psychological roots.

Getting real treatment for this will not only help your spiritual life, but your physical and emotinal life as well.  It is not good to aganozie over every decision adn it's not appropriate to seek people's help for each decision either.  Because I am telling you now, untreated illnesses sorrounding decisions often get worse...to the point where details like agoraphobia often crop up.

[Papist]

keeweebee,

Any decision you make must be your decision. Not you decide a course of action solely b/c priest (or anyone tell you to do that), but you own the responsibility for that choice.  The priest serves to help you form your conscience according to the Church's authentic teachings. I recommend stop hopping from priest to priest and find a good spiritual director, and meet with him on a regular basis.

God bless.