Lumiere Posted May 23, 2015 Share Posted May 23, 2015 Josh's activities at 14 were a symptom of a family that needed help as a whole. How did he molest 4 sisters and another girl outside of the family before he was caught if the girls were not intimidated in some way? Was the pressure so great on this family to project the "perfect Christian" image that the girls felt they would not be believed or supported if they told? Remember the girls shared a room then and now. How did he move into that room at night and select a victim without the other girls knowing? When he was caught the whole family should have received proper counseling with experts in the area, not "Christian counselors" who would have preached forgiveness and helped the parents to cover it up. As far as forgiveness goes it is not as simple as pretending the sexual abuse never happened: Six Things to Know About Sexual Abuse and Forgiveness by John Shore Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ash Wednesday Posted May 24, 2015 Share Posted May 24, 2015 For everyone's sake, the show needs to be pulled off the air for good. The family was already just a modern day version of a circus sideshow for people to gawk at like freaks as entertainment value rather than human beings -- and nothing good will come of this all being played out as a public spectacle. I hope that everyone involved in need of any professional help will be able to receive it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MarysLittleFlower Posted May 24, 2015 Share Posted May 24, 2015 unfortunately this is giving various atheists etc a field day. In spite of the fact that many Christians are not Duggar theology types. Personally I think since he was a minor child at the time, this should remain in the past, I am not a fan of treating kids like adults when it comes to legal things. Also worried about him because when kids act out sexually that way it is often in response to abuse or neglect. I think this type of show was not the best idea for a family. I don't know if it somehow indirectly lead to the abuse... I'm not familiar with the situation.. Was the boy in question 14? I think while that is young and probably came from some sort of brokenness etc - obviously he was in need of help - that is also not so young that there was no knowledge what he was doing. 14 was treated as a grown up age in the past... It is not really being a child anymore. It doesn't mean the whole emphasis should be on giving him a sentence. He needed help and at least should be given help now. However if I'm correct about the age, its certainly past the age of reason when we are responsible for what we do so he needs to take responsibility for the damage done... While at the same time being helped to deal with it and with anything that could have made his childhood difficult if it was. I don't know why he did this. I'm not saying there was something happening in the family. I still don't think its healthy to put a family on TV for years. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Socrates Posted May 24, 2015 Share Posted May 24, 2015 I don't watch this show (or much other TV), nor do I otherwise follow the Duggars, but the atheist response is typical, though it hardly constitutes an argument against Christian Faith. Atheists and other anti-Christians will always take devilish glee in professed Christians (especially of a conservative variety) committing vile acts which blatantly contradict Christian morality. It's no different than their delight at the scandal of pederast priests, or Mel Gibson's misbehavior. But such misdeeds reveal only the hypocrisy or weakness of those that commit them, rather than disproving any Christian teaching. Of course, these same enlightened souls who like to blame Christian Faith for every crime committed by a professed Christian, usually go into conniptions whenever anyone dare bring up the atheism of Communist dictators or other depraved persons. ("They're not real atheists! Real atheists are peaceful and loving!") Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Socrates Posted May 24, 2015 Share Posted May 24, 2015 Meanwhile, in my country, a politic man (a socialist, btw) accused twice of rape and once of using prostitute is still free and even popular. For me, this is more serious. Similar to the situation here in the States. Devotion to left-wing ideology covers a multitude of sins. (See the career of the Clintons or the late Ted Kennedy for examples.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhuturePriest Posted May 24, 2015 Share Posted May 24, 2015 (edited) For the love of all that is good and holy, stop talking about this. This is a private family matter. No one is obliged to know about it other than the proper authorities and the family itself, and this gawk-fest at what is a terrible situation for the family is by no means healthy. The fact that people talk about it in such professional and official tones is, quite honestly, offensive. Don't talk about them, don't speculate, don't claim what they did wrong and what they "should have done". You don't know what it's like to have something like this happen in your family, and you have no clue what it's like to be the sibling or parent of such abuse. You don't know what it's like to have to figure out what to do, how to do it, and try to make it as beneficial for both parties as possible. Your daughters were abused, and you want them to get help, but you're not going to just demonize your son and throw him to the curb; you want him to get healing and to have a successful and normal life, too. It's so much different when it's your child and children, and the truth of the matter is, there really isn't a "right way" to go about it other than making sure everyone gets the help they need. The problem occurs when you figure out what exactly that means, and I can tell you that CPS is such a broken and almost completely useless system that no loving parent would want to put their children through that experience. My counselor herself told me that in her experience these cases have only ever been complicated and worsened when CPS got involved, and that families who handle these things quietly (with proper counseling and measures taken) are much better off and well-adjusted at the end than those who go to CPS. The Duggars were scared, confused, and shocked. They didn't know what to do, but their gut instinct to stay the hell away from CPS at all costs was a good one. Edited May 24, 2015 by PhuturePriest Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhuturePriest Posted May 24, 2015 Share Posted May 24, 2015 I tried finishing my thoughts to the above once more, but I was too late. Even if not going to the authorities wasn't the right gut-reaction, you have no right to say what they "should have done", as you have no clue what it's like. The answer of what to do is not nearly as cut-and-dry as the media would have you believe, and you will find a lot of conflicting emotions on what to do should (God forbid) something like this ever happen to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hotpink Posted May 25, 2015 Share Posted May 25, 2015 I tried finishing my thoughts to the above once more, but I was too late. Even if not going to the authorities wasn't the right gut-reaction, you have no right to say what they "should have done", as you have no clue what it's like. The answer of what to do is not nearly as cut-and-dry as the media would have you believe, and you will find a lot of conflicting emotions on what to do should (God forbid) something like this ever happen to you. You do know that sibiling abuse is by far the most common type...and that the reason many people have opinions is that something similar did happen and they feel their parents did or didn't handle it correctly. The problem with the Duggars is that they have made a spectacle of their lives. I do think it's fair to say that when a family is in crisis, or nearly out of it shouldn't be the center of a TV sitcom. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anomaly Posted May 25, 2015 Share Posted May 25, 2015 I agree with you, PP. This demonizing and negative opinion hurts the victims and innocent members of families much more than there is any affect on Josh and his parents. Speculation as to causes or motivation are disingenuous at best and most likely inaccurate. Although an apostate and agnostic, I still generally liked and respected the Duggars as genuinely good people. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhuturePriest Posted May 25, 2015 Share Posted May 25, 2015 I agree with you, PP. This demonizing and negative opinion hurts the victims and innocent members of families much more than there is any affect on Josh and his parents. Speculation as to causes or motivation are disingenuous at best and most likely inaccurate. Although an apostate and agnostic, I still generally liked and respected the Duggars as genuinely good people. I cannot imagine what it would be like to have my abuse put on display for the entire world to see, gawk at, and speculate. It would rip open so many healed wounds, and anyone who claims they are "thinking on the side of the victims" is either a disgusting liar, or on a level of ignorance that I do not believe can possibly exist on this earth. I care for the victims, so I do not want this to be televised, and I completely agree with the family's decision to keep it quiet. Shame on whoever made it public. I hope they realize the insurmountable hurt they have inflicted upon the victims as a result of their selfishness. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Era Might Posted May 25, 2015 Share Posted May 25, 2015 (edited) I don't know anything about these people except they have a TV show. But if you had this happen in your family, why would you be on a TV show? Edited May 25, 2015 by Era Might Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhuturePriest Posted May 25, 2015 Share Posted May 25, 2015 I don't know anything about these people except they have a TV show and seem to have a lot of sex. But if you had this happen in your family, why would you be on a TV show? On what planet does "Sorry, we'd be on a television show for you guys, but our oldest son molested several of our daughters," make sense? It's been resolved. They took care of the issue. It had been taken care of for several years when the show was made. They are not obligated to tell anyone about it. I would rather have a wholesome family of genuinely good people who have had private family issues on a television show than the Kardashians, but maybe that's just me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Era Might Posted May 25, 2015 Share Posted May 25, 2015 On what planet does "Sorry, we'd be on a television show for you guys, but our oldest son molested several of our daughters," make sense? It's been resolved. They took care of the issue. It had been taken care of for several years when the show was made. They are not obligated to tell anyone about it. I would rather have a wholesome family of genuinely good people who have had private family issues on a television show than the Kardashians, but maybe that's just me. All they have to do is not be on a television show. Regardless of whether or not it was taken care of, that's the nature of being a celebrity. I have no idea if they are "genuinely good people"...how could I know that? I know they are celebrities, that's it. And not just being celebrities, but being celebrities because you invite the public into your home and family life. Duh, it's just common sense that if you have something to hide, then live your life accordingly, you don't beam your family out to the world. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhuturePriest Posted May 25, 2015 Share Posted May 25, 2015 (edited) All they have to do is not be on a television show. Regardless of whether or not it was taken care of, that's the nature of being a celebrity. I have no idea if they are "genuinely good people"...how could I know that? I know they are celebrities, that's it. And not just being celebrities, but being celebrities because you invite the public into your home and family life. Duh, it's just common sense that if you have something to hide, then live your life accordingly, you don't beam your family out to the world. They are by no means "celebrities". The show is about their family and how they operate having so many children. The show is about showing their faith to everyone. They have avoided showing many of the hardships they've gone through in the past, including much of what they went through concerning their last miscarriage, because that's not what the show is about. A lot of good has come about from their show, and I am very glad they decided to do it. Edited May 25, 2015 by PhuturePriest Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Era Might Posted May 25, 2015 Share Posted May 25, 2015 They are by no means "celebrities". The show is about their family and how they operate having so many children. The show is about showing their faith to everyone. They have avoided showing many of the hardships they've gone through in the past, including much of what they went through concerning their last miscarriage, because that's not what the show is about. A lot of good has come about from their show, and I am very glad they decided to do it. I don't particularly care about their show, I've never watched it and never would, I'm just interested in media. They are celebrities, millions of people know them and watch their show. Your public life as a celebrity isn't confined to what you let be seen on TV. Everything comes out eventually when you're a public person, either in life or death. Even when you're a private person, you still have a social context in which you live, and you should be careful about who you talk to and how you live your life, because that's how life is...people talk, and probably know a lot that you don't know they know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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