luxetveritas Posted May 19, 2015 Share Posted May 19, 2015 Dear phatmass phamily, I am starting spiritual direction with a priest and I'm wondering. . . Are there things that you SHOULDN'T talk about with your spiritual director? Certain topics? Daily, weekly life mishaps? What are things that are important and you SHOULD talk with your spiritual director about? Obviously I know one of them is that your prayer life will be discussed. Thank you for your help! Luxetveritas Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MargaretTeresa Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 I think it kind of depends on the spiritual director. I met with mine monthly. We'd talk about what had happened since the last time we met, both in my spiritual life and in the day-to-day. My spiritual director really opened my eyes as to how the day-to-day can affect my spiritual life in ways I wouldn't have thought of. However, not every spiritual director is the same. I'd talk to your SD when you meet next and see what he feels most comfortable doing. Different SDs have different styles. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spem in alium Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 I agree - I think it varies according to the style of the director and the needs of the directee. Before I entered the convent I would meet with my SD once a month, and we would discuss various things: my prayer life, my family life, my vocation, etc. The director will know how to guide discussion, so it shouldn't be a struggle for you. I think it's very important to approach direction with openness: not only openness to sharing, but also openness to learning and possible change. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Feankie Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 As a SD myself, I can tell you I've heard just about everything! When a directee goes off-track or starts to go down a rabbit hole, I've got to reign them back in Most importantly, I want to hear about how things are going since the last time we met: family life, work situation, prayer life, discernment, have you worked on the things we discussed during our last session. Often times, letting a person seem to go "off track" for just a bit lets them get to a sticking point they're having trouble with. I guide, I do not judge nor do I demand certain practices or behaviors. It is done with gentleness in a spirit of charity and love. Praying before and after a session sets the tone immediately as the Lord is always there with us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
krissylou Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 There's a great bit in the Jesuit Guide to (Almost) Everything where Father James Martin is talking about being a young novice and meeting with his SD. He was concerned at the time about something significant going on in his family. But he wasn't talking about it because this is Spiritual Direction! I'm just supposed to be talking about prayer and stuff like that. And well it was pretty obvious that SOMETHING was going on he wasn't talking about. Awkward. So the SD asked is there something else going on you're not talking about? And of course there was. And what they needed to do was not to ignore the elephant in the room while concentrating on "spiritual things" but to unpack that box together, in the light of God. I mean, I wouldn't go on and on about the plot of the latest movie you saw (though I could imagine how a particular bit might be relevant if it especially struck you), or the sad sad state of your favorite baseball team. But as a general rule I wouldn't worry a whit about "you're not supposed to talk about that sort of thing." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MarysLittleFlower Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 Dear phatmass phamily, I am starting spiritual direction with a priest and I'm wondering. . . Are there things that you SHOULDN'T talk about with your spiritual director? Certain topics? Daily, weekly life mishaps? What are things that are important and you SHOULD talk with your spiritual director about? Obviously I know one of them is that your prayer life will be discussed. Thank you for your help! Luxetveritas Its a good idea to be very open with your SD. I talk about spiritual things and prayer and discernment but also my family or major concerns with my choice of work. By this point he knows me very well especially because he's also my Confessor and I feel I can talk about anything significant in my life. Its usually spiritual or family related but not only. If I'm struggling interiorly I talk about that too. The only stuff I wouldn't mention is anything that has no relevance to spiritual direction at all. God bless! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gabriela Posted May 21, 2015 Share Posted May 21, 2015 I've had 4 SDs and I can tell you from my experience that what any individual SD prefers to focus on can vary dramatically. That's good for 2 reasons: (1) It leaves you free to bring up whatever you feel is important/relevant, and then you can trust your SD to pick out whatever s/he feels is important/relevant for deeper discussion. (2) It helps you to decide whether you're with the right SD. If your SD keeps focusing on things you just don't feel are the things you need to focus on, you may be ill-matched. Of course, before you run off and find someone else, you should discuss with your SD why you think X is important/relevant and why s/he thinks that's not so and Y is instead. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
:o)Katherine:o) Posted May 26, 2015 Share Posted May 26, 2015 Dear phatmass phamily, I am starting spiritual direction with a priest and I'm wondering. . . Are there things that you SHOULDN'T talk about with your spiritual director? Certain topics? Daily, weekly life mishaps? What are things that are important and you SHOULD talk with your spiritual director about? Obviously I know one of them is that your prayer life will be discussed. Thank you for your help! Luxetveritas Thank you so much Luxetveritas for asking these questions! I had been wondering myself as I will begin spiritual direction with a deacon very soon. Thank you to everyone for sharing your thoughts and experiences! As a SD myself, I can tell you I've heard just about everything! When a directee goes off-track or starts to go down a rabbit hole, I've got to reign them back in Most importantly, I want to hear about how things are going since the last time we met: family life, work situation, prayer life, discernment, have you worked on the things we discussed during our last session. Often times, letting a person seem to go "off track" for just a bit lets them get to a sticking point they're having trouble with. I guide, I do not judge nor do I demand certain practices or behaviors. It is done with gentleness in a spirit of charity and love. Praying before and after a session sets the tone immediately as the Lord is always there with us. Francis Clare, did you have any particular training or perhaps recommend resources for SD's? Mine has never been one before and has been looking for help. We do not have much help for women discerning in our diocese. He has spent time in prayer and and conversations over the years and he has agreed to see if he is a fit. If there is anything that you recommend for him please let me know or pm me. Thanks so much! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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