Married to God

[Swami Mommy]

i just read a good article about the rise of female vocations in Britain:

http://www.vice.com/en_uk/read/married-to-god-why-more-young-british-women-are-choosing-to-become-nuns-136

[MarysLittleFlower]

Interesting... I could be wrong but it sort of seems like the article is coming at the topic from a secular understanding which shows how the world might see religious life in some ways. For example there were questions about being "free" in cloisters/habits and implying the order this young woman joined (which is more active) as more 'free'... I'm not commenting on her, but of course being in a habit and cloistered is not less 'free' at all, because freedom isn't doing what we want, its doing what God wants. I was going to say that on the comments but I don't have Facebook so I couldn't... Also the part about missing human love - of course God's love is so much greater that there is no loss, only gain   Anyways good that more women are joining religious life it is very countercultural as this article describes

Edited May 15, 2015 by MarysLittleFlower

[Spem in alium]

I agree, MLF - great that more women are discerning religious life, but I felt there was a strong secular view. The consistent references to "giving up" things made me think - why not talk about what women in religious life "take on"? To me, that's much more positive and inclusive language. Also, her description of the vows kind of threw me. At least from what I've seen, Sisters can still make their own decisions, but in obedient accordance with the will of God and the guidance of their superiors. Chastity is so much more than simply not having relationships or sex, and poverty goes way beyond not having your own money or possessions.
I read an article recently that said religious life is a re-enactment of the life of Christ, who was Himself poor, chaste, and obedient. Those words particularly stayed with me.

[marigold]

I agree, MLF - great that more women are discerning religious life, but I felt there was a strong secular view. The consistent references to "giving up" things made me think - why not talk about what women in religious life "take on"? To me, that's much more positive and inclusive language. Also, her description of the vows kind of threw me. At least from what I've seen, Sisters can still make their own decisions, but in obedient accordance with the will of God and the guidance of their superiors. Chastity is so much more than simply not having relationships or sex, and poverty goes way beyond not having your own money or possessions.
I read an article recently that said religious life is a re-enactment of the life of Christ, who was Himself poor, chaste, and obedient. Those words particularly stayed with me.

​Because that would mean having to open your mind to the possibility that there was something to receive as well as give up. Easier just to keep it at arm's length.

[Spem in alium]

​Because that would mean having to open your mind to the possibility that there was something to receive as well as give up. Easier just to keep it at arm's length.

​Too right! Much of the writing I see about religious life uses words like "sacrifice", "giving up", "missing out", etc. It seems the prevailing move to push away the idea that there are things to gain. 

I did appreciate what the article had to say about technology's influence on discernment. I only found my Congregation, the Sisters of the Holy Family of Nazareth, through my Archdiocese's vocations page, which gave a list of all the religious congregations for women. I remember being drawn instantly by their name - I had a deepening devotion to the Holy Family at the time - and then grew more interested when I visited their website. And it turned out (Providentially, in my view) that they were offering a retreat for women the following weekend, which I went to. I had never heard about the Sisters previously, even though I had been considering religious life for about a year beforehand. It seems that more and more women are learning about congregations online, and I think that does call for religious orders to be more flexible and open to using technology and the internet to connect with people. 

[MarysLittleFlower]

I wonder if maybe people in the world concentrate so much on what religious 'miss out' on, is because the world doesn't recognize the joy that God gives... Human spousal love is seen as almost the ultimate idealized love. Love is also associated with feelings often. I think reading the lives of the Saints can really help people with that because I found that helpful to begin changing my perception. As we get to come to God closer we understand His love more and more and how great it is  it can be very hard to give up everything but its also a joy. Its hard because of our attachments

 

[marigold]

​Too right! Much of the writing I see about religious life uses words like "sacrifice", "giving up", "missing out", etc. It seems the prevailing move to push away the idea that there are things to gain. 

I did appreciate what the article had to say about technology's influence on discernment. I only found my Congregation, the Sisters of the Holy Family of Nazareth, through my Archdiocese's vocations page, which gave a list of all the religious congregations for women. I remember being drawn instantly by their name - I had a deepening devotion to the Holy Family at the time - and then grew more interested when I visited their website. And it turned out (Providentially, in my view) that they were offering a retreat for women the following weekend, which I went to. I had never heard about the Sisters previously, even though I had been considering religious life for about a year beforehand. It seems that more and more women are learning about congregations online, and I think that does call for religious orders to be more flexible and open to using technology and the internet to connect with people. 

​Definitely. I found my first community online, and after sending one paper letter that got lost in someone's office, maintained all contact with them through email. I do maybe 70% of my monastery scouting online - the other 30% being word of mouth - and obviously spend a lot of time reading and talking about communities here. The internet is like the phone book now. It's a very good thing. Maybe the increase in women entering communities is a fruit of that.

[sr.christinaosf]

The CMSWR (Council of Major Superiors of Women Religious is an excellent resource which has both online and print listings of their member communities.  This was instrumental in my vocational journey.

Edited May 21, 2015 by sr.christinaosf

[Gabriela]

I don't think one can honestly say that nothing is lost or given up in religious life. Yeah, you get back a lot more than you sacrifice, but it seems just incorrect to say that there is no loss at all. Of course there is. It's just a loss that's totally worth it.

And I think it only natural that a secular news source would cast religious life in secular terms. I mean, their readers aren't going to understand a word of the article unless they frame it according to the way they think.

[Swami Mommy]

Gabriela, I agree with you.  My sense is that exposing the average general readership to the religious life through more secular oriented reporting is more likely to catch their interest and perhaps lead them to read about it than a deeper, more philosophical treatise on the subtler dimensions of religious life would.  

[BarbTherese]

Loss or exchange?  I don't think one loses anything, one freely gives something and one is given something back in exchange.  Loss to me implies sadness - while giving has a joy about it.  When one gives something that was one's own, one might experience a sad loss for a time - a vacuum, which will be gradually filled until there is no awareness of loss only awareness of what one has gained.  Although I do think on the rather bumpy type of road spirituality can be, that a sense of loss might return and a sense of a return to having freely given might need work and that work might be laborious and lack consolation.  This is where one's will and Faith in the will comes into very important play.

For example, one does not lose the right to marriage, one freely gives/abandons one's right for a greater good.

I don't like personally the word "loss" just as I find "marriage" a difficult word.  I prefer "give" and "united".  Just personal preferences.

[Swami Mommy]

BarbaraTherese, that is a lovely perspective.  Our thoughts and our words carry the power to uplift and transform our world in very tangible ways. That being said, our words must truly come from the heart in order to become transformative, and it may not be helpful in the long run to bypass the feelings attached to the very real sacrifices that we may be called to make in whatever life path we choose.  Mourning the loss of what we are sacrificing (even if it is something we are lovingly offering to God with our whole heart) is essential in every stage of life's choices lest we run the risk of living life on the surface without plumbing its emotional depths with true authenticity.  There may be some people who are so one-pointed in their desire to offer their lives to God that the choices they make are crystal clear, unwavering, and whole-hearted, but I'm guessing that the number of those type of people is very small.  Most people do not have such an initial clear sense of what they are called to do amid the myriad choices that the world presents, and inherent in any choice is the loss of other options.  It's normal and natural to feel some regret with the ending of possibilities of other ways of living, even as we look with hope and anticipation to the vocation or partner or living arrangement we have selected.  Deeply and fully feeling, in the moment, the entire range of emotions a choice may create allows us to move forward with a more open spaciousness that is free of any subconscious, lingering unprocessed emotions.  There's nothing worse than having to clean up the sludge of denied emotions at a later date!

[sr.christinaosf]

  it can be very hard to give up everything but its also a joy. Its hard because of our attachments

I like that; it is a joy to willingly give up things for one you love.  You are glad to do it.  Making a sacrifice is then a joy.  This can be seen in other aspects of life as well.

​

[Carla]

I' not interested in this discussion about different aspect of religious life.My opinion is that is is very individual for each person how she realize her vocation and made this all general is not my cup of tea.I can only tell my view on this topic.I'm discerning for some time and i can notice that my area and my homeland in general have nicely increase in vocation is last years.

In last 5 years monasteries around my country have increases on entrances for every year.Of course it depends from order to order but in general the numbers are nice for such small country like mine.Also it is nice to see that Seminaries are getting more and more candidates every year.As i like to say we need Vocations!