John Paul Posted May 6, 2015 Share Posted May 6, 2015 How do you know what right for you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mary+Immaculate<3 Posted May 6, 2015 Share Posted May 6, 2015 Do you mean which community is right for you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Paul Posted May 6, 2015 Author Share Posted May 6, 2015 oops I meant to put order in there. Mea Culpa,Mea Culpa,Mea maxima Culpa. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheresaThoma Posted May 6, 2015 Share Posted May 6, 2015 I think the most important thing is to really know yourself. I know it sounds cliche but if you don't know what makes you "tick" then how can you know what community is best for you. This can take a while. Personally I have seriously discerned with 2 communities. I was preparing to ask for an application with the first community rather early on in my discernment. I was still in college and hadn't been Catholic that long. Thankfully I had some wonderful spiritual advisors that helped me realize even though I liked that community that wasn't where I am called to. Now a few years later I'm out of college, living on my own, did a volunteer program that involved living in community and I have a much better idea of who I am. I know what I absolutely need to function and a better idea of my personal spirituality.(I also figured out that I am a bit of an introvert. For the longest time I thought I was an extrovert and I can go months at a time acting like an extrovert but I eventually burn out and don't thrive). So with all that said. I have been in contact with a community and visited there a few times and I'm pretty sure I am called there. Their schedule and spirituality meets my deepest needs and I fit there. You just kind of know. There is a peace that you can't quite find anywhere else. A piece of advice I like is a question to ask yourself, Can I pray well, Sleep well, eat well, and laugh well when I am with the community? If the answer is yes to all of those it is a pretty good sign you are on the right path. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Paul Posted May 6, 2015 Author Share Posted May 6, 2015 Good Advice what order? If it is private that is Okay. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheresaThoma Posted May 7, 2015 Share Posted May 7, 2015 I'm keeping it private for right now. I might share which community it is when/if things become a bit more solid. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
totustuus20 Posted May 7, 2015 Share Posted May 7, 2015 I agree with TheresaThoma. In order to know if you are called to a specific community, you have to know yourself well. You need to know your strengths and weaknesses, and also what will make you most joyful. In addition, it is important that you know the voice of the Lord well. He is the one who will call you to a community (or won't call you to a community) depending on what His plan for you is. If you do not know how to discern His voice from the other voices in the world, you cannot know if God is calling you somewhere, or not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HopefulHeart Posted May 7, 2015 Share Posted May 7, 2015 In my opinion, the right community is the one that will best enable you (with all your unique strengths, weaknesses, desires, and fears) to attain sainthood. Realizing which community is right comes through prayer, spiritual direction, and experience with the community. Note that the order that will best lead you to sanctity is not necessarily the strictest. It is the order that will help YOU to attain heaven, not just any person or an idealized version of yourself. Be honest with yourself in discernment and be honest with God in prayer. He will not mislead you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mary+Immaculate<3 Posted May 8, 2015 Share Posted May 8, 2015 While I am not very far in discernment, I have listened to a lot of interviews and talks with sisters that say very similar things as the above comments. Sisters, when asked, usually say there was a peace they couldn't really explain. Also, a sense of feeling "at home." Some say that they knew because they could imagine themselves wearing their habit and living their life, it did not just seems like a distant possibility. Being able to be yourself, not just showing your "good side" with the community, is important. That doesn't mean you must confess your sins to them and tell them what you are most ashamed of, but rather because they will eventually know the full you. Just like in marriage how a husband and wife get to know the true, full person after they marry, good and bad, a community will eventually know who you are, and you the community. So trying to "impress" or "prove yourself" to a community is neither right nor beneficial. I think that plays in to what the others have said, that you really have to know yourself. Knowing yourself completely, weaknesses and strengths. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheresaThoma Posted May 8, 2015 Share Posted May 8, 2015 Another thing is to spend more than just weekends with the community. Weekend visits are good to start with, I remember another member sharing an experience of scheduling a visit for a week and realizing 2 days in the community was most definitely not for them. They said the rest of the week was rather awkward. However after a couple of weekend visits you should try to schedule a week long visit. A community that might seem like a good fit over the weekend might not be the right fit after being there a week. Which leads me to another point the more time you spend with the community the more you should feel comfortable there. At least that has been my experience. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
orapronobis Posted May 9, 2015 Share Posted May 9, 2015 I agree completely with everything else that has been said. They say that you know when you've met the person you're going to marry and it's rather like that when it comes to a community. You may visit a lot of communities and like being there and like the community itself but when you visit "the community" for you, the sheer certainty that this is the place for you hits you like a ton of bricks. John Paul, my advice is just "go with the flow" and discern and when God decides that it's time, you will be led to the right community. God Bless Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeoOptimoMaximo Posted May 12, 2015 Share Posted May 12, 2015 I remember when I discerned with a religious community. After my initial re-conversion, I began to research religious orders and was blown away by how many there actually are. I found it useful to make lists (of characteristics, such as habit, solid liturgy, faithful to Magisterium, etc.) and pray with them regarding what criteria I was looking for. If you feel attracted to a particular charism, look up which main orders follow that calling, and then you could explore the other religious branches that exist. After you've narrowed it down, going to come and see weekends and volunteering with the order are very helpful ways to get to know whether that way of life is what the Lord is calling you to. Get used to praying the Breviary, Rosary, and spending time with the Lord on retreats and in Adoration, if you haven't already It's all in the Lord's timing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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