I Am So Angry Right Now

[Cathurian]

Telling my mom I decided to become Catholic went over well. Too well, I thought. Usually when she accepts something easily, she blows up at me over it later. But I sincerely hoped it was by a grace of God that things went smoothly this time. Not.

At time, I changed into a skirt, put on high heels, and shaved my legs. My mom always made me do these things before I was allowed to go to church each day, because she said it looked back if I wore tennis shoes or had hair poking out from beneath a skirt or a dress. Now, I *really* despise doing this -- the shoes are so uncomfortable, and my legs itch for days after I shave them, but I do it so I can go to church and it's no big deal at all to inconvenience myself a little for Christ. I just still don't like doing it.

So I go through all that, and then I show up at the door and say "I'm ready!" Guess what happens?

"Ready for what?"
"For Church"
"I'm not taking you"
"What!? Why!?"
"BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO!" yes, she shouted! And she stormed off, very quickly and angrily, and slammed the door. I'm not exaggerating. I have no idea what her problem is.

If you actually have the time to read my big long introduction post in the introduction thread, you'll see some details of how she does this sort of thing to me. I don't get it. It's really making me mad -- not necessarily at her, but at the situation. What's the deal here? She won't tell me.

Edit: While I was finishing up this post, my stepfather came in. He said, go hug your mother and tell you you love her. I said, do you know what's wrong? He said she is feeling stressed because she has to work a lot. So I went in her bedroom, hugged her, and said I love her. Which I do. I brought up the Church again, and she said "I don't believe in Catholic Churches." I asked her why. She said, "I just don't believe you can go out there and sin, and come in and sail your 'Hail Mary's and be forgiven." I went, "No no no! That's not how it works at all, let me explain --" and she cut me off and said "I refuse to discuss it."

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Edited June 12, 2004 by Cathurian

[daugher-of-Mary]

I'm so sorry...sounds like a really rough situation. Maybe your mom just needs time to cool down and come to grips with your decision. Is there any chance you could walk to Mass in the meantime?

[qfnol31]

That's really sad to hear...I know my mother had some reservations about me doing stuff with the Church (she's Catholic. ?) Anyways, I know it can be difficult for people when their moms don't support them...

I'll pray for you!

[littleflower+JMJ]

prayers!!

[Maddalena]

I am so sorry. ;.; I will keep you in my prayers. This will make you a better Catholic, oddley enough.

[ilovechrist]

yikes..
i'll be praying for you. it's something that's tough to go through. keep working to attempt to tell her about the Catholic faith.

[Cathurian]

No, I'm not able to walk to mass. I probably could if allowed, but I'm not allowed to go that far. And I'd be asked where I was going, and I cannot say "To a Catholic church", because my mom won't let me go to a Catholic church. And I can't lie, either.

The thing is, one of the reasons my mom says I'm not allowed to be Catholic is because "that's not the *religion* I was raised in". It's Christian. I've got a nominal Christian background, so it darn well is. I will honestly never understand these people that say you can't be a different denomination (of all things!) just because of what your parents were. [i]Why does it matter what your parents believed?[/i] Plus, we never even went to church. I have no idea how my mother is sitting here and saying we're all Baptist when we never attended a Baptist church -- or indeed, any church at all, until recently when we went to a Pentecostal one for a while -- and when I thought the amount of good things you did during life were weighed against the bad things in order to decide your eternal fate for most of my childhood. I don't even know what exactly Baptist doctrine is, and I sure never went around calling myself a Baptist. I was a generic Christian who refused to choose a denomination out of desire for unity in the Body, until last week when I finally decided to take C.S. Lewis's advice and "leave the antechamber" (for those of you have read Mere Christianity.) I think Catholicism is the way to greatest unity. Sure it's got it's denominations too, like Eastern Orthodoxy and whatnot, but it's sure a lot better than the infinitely splitting Protestant wing. We should take Paul's advice and submit to those who have scruples if we have none, I believe -- Not pitch a big fit over dancing in the church, or instrumental music, or candles, and cause schism after schism. If everyone had just quietly disapproved of some Church practices at the time, wrote to officials with Christlike love and concern to stay united and do what is right, , then I think we'd probably all still be pretty much united in the Church. And I want in the big Church.

But I worry: I worry that, while helping to fix the rift between the Protestants and the Catholics (one person at a time!) I'm just causing one [i]more[/i] unnecessary schism, by making strife between my mom and I in the family. And I don't like it at all. But I don't know what to do -- she still insists that undue honor is given to Mary, and thinks that one can just sin and say 'Hail Mary's and be forgiven. That's not what Catholicism is about at all. This concerns me.

[littleflower+JMJ]

many saints have gone through this very same ordeal, as many today still do, saints that wanted to live for Christ but their families forbade it. St. Anselm (who was keep from the faith by his father) and St. Barbara (who was killed by orders of her father becasue she became christian) are two good ones i can think of. read upon them and you draw strength and follow their example of perserverance, humility and charity.

i hope things get better at home, and that this not only strengthen your faith more but everthing as well. you are not alone, the saints in heaven are cheering you on, the Blessed MOther is intercedeing for you and the Church is here on earth as well!

God bless,
+JMJ+

[crusader1234]

that stinks. good luck in the future... oddly enough this post reminds me of some country song i forget but its called i shaved my legs for this? i dont know what im talking about but i hope thigns work out

[picchick]

I will pray.

[Iacobus]

Praying.

[1337 k4th0l1x0r]

Cathurian, what is the religious background of your parents?

[BeenaBobba]

I'll say a prayer for you. I'll also pray for your mom -- that she'll be more tolerant and accepting of your love for Catholicism. Pray for her each day. The Lord may open her eyes. Offer up your sufferings in reparation for the great sin in the world, and for the conversion of sinners.

I don't know that much about you. Have you converted to Catholicism, or are you in the process of converting?

God bless,

Jen

[Soldier4Him]

"No trial has come to you but what is human. God is faithful and will not let you be tried beyond your strength; but with the trial he will also provide a way out, so that you may be able to bear it." 1 Corinthians 10:13

Don't let your mom get you down, keep at it. Keep witnessing. KEEP PRAYING FOR HER. I will be too.

By the way....nice avatar. But I claimed it first! JK. Keep the faith.

[Child of God]

Perhaps if you showed a willingness to explore her faith and beliefs she would be more open to you. God may have put you in this situation to learn more about her, her beliefs and your own beliefs.

You seem to want to bring people together, so try to find common ground with her. Remember that we are told to honor our parents.