'Singleness'

[BarbTherese]

I have a problem with the notion that 'singleness' (more accurately celibate state in the laity) is not a vocation nor a state in life.  (See Catholic Questions & Answers "Vocation to "singlehood"")

Through baptism we are called by God to holiness (vocation comes from vocare (Latin) meaning "to call").  A further call or vocation is a call from God to that road by which we are to travel to holiness and this might change one's state of life in that of Holy Orders or the consecrated state.  In the Document "Vocation and Mission of The Laity" (Christifedeles Laici), it spells out the duties of those in the lay state of life whether through private vow or vows or whether they are not. There is no necessity whatsoever for a baptised Catholic to make private vows in order to remain in the lay state of life as vocation and as their call and vocation from God.  That state may be transitional as they discern if they might be called to some other state, or it may be permanent.

Baptism is a very serious consecrated vowed state of life with vows, renewed every Easter, in the laity - and it has its own attendant quite serious duties in The Church and in the world.

Catholic Culture https://www.catholicculture.org/culture/library/view.cfm?recnum=5496   The essential element of the Gospel law is grace, which is a power of life that justifies and saves, as St. Thomas explains (cf. Summa Theologiae, I-II, q. 106, a. 2), following St. Augustine (cf. De Spiritu et Littera, ch. 7). Christ already takes possession of the person from within through Baptism in which He begins His sanctifying action, "consecrating him" and instilling in him the need for a response that He Himself makes possible by His grace, to the extent of the subject's physical, psychological, spiritual, and moral capacity.

There was no individual, means, or institution, however, that by its inner force could communicate God's holiness to men, however well-disposed. This would be the great newness of Christian Baptism, by which believers have their "hearts sprinkled clean" (Heb. 10:22), and are inwardly "washed, consecrated, justified in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ and in the Spirit of our God" (I Cor. 6: 11).

Catholic Catechism:

784 On entering the People of God through faith and Baptism, one receives a share in this people's unique, priestly vocation: "Christ the Lord, high priest taken from among men, has made this new people 'a kingdom of priests to God, his Father.' The baptized, by regeneration and the anointing of the Holy Spirit, are consecrated to be a spiritual house and a holy priesthood."²⁰⁹

940 "The characteristic of the lay state being a life led in the midst of the world and of secular affairs, lay people are called by God to make of their apostolate, through the vigor of their Christian spirit, a leaven in the world" (AA 2 § 2).

 

[hotpink]

I think you're right.  I know people who are called to be single.  I've wondered this myself.  I figure maybe I will get married later in life.  I think I may be Catholic one day.

Obvously God calls people to many different things.  Quite frankly those who scream loudest that singleness seem to be (mostly guys) who tend to blame sin, abortion, parents (or lack thereof), etc on not having a spouce.  The bitterness is real and scary.  I was really scared that the catholic girl I knew who was on here would wind up with some guy who thought he really should of been with someone but because of sin wound up with her.  She married a nice guy and they're really cool, but he's alot like me...totally open to whatever God wants.  I don't meet alot of single catholics like that...they're usually crazy about finding a spouse and how this bad horrible world jipped them.

The whole catholic idea of vocation is really confusing, especally since to me it seems that marriage and religious life both have vows, but I've been to a ton of masses and they always say prayers for vocations to being priests and religious but not to married.  Does that mean that marriage is less of a vocation?  I mean they say percentage wise they'res less priests being made priests and whatnot but if only like 50% of people get married these days or stay married or whatever the stat is I can't imagine that its that much worse than what is happening to nuns and monks and priests and stuff.  I mean heck, there seems to be more of them than actually people getting married and staying married these days.

So my long take on it is that I think you're right.  It's not about just being "single"  I'm not just "single" I'm listening to God.  If I do become Catholic or if I don't, if I do marry or if I don't, if I do become a monk who makes coffee or chocolate or surfs or never sees the light of day again, I don't think God would say in any of those situations I didn't live up to what I was supposed to do.  If I'm following the commandments, the church (if I join) and pray I don't see why it matters if I marry or be a monk or priest.  God will be be happy with me for being loyal and loving him.

[BarbTherese]

I don't know how it came about that there are two threads on this subject with the same Opening Post by me.

I have read your post, hotpink, and I am just making some general comments related to our subject and not of necessity your own comments.

If you are discerning the single state, discernment is not about one's own personal agenda and wishes, but to discern with prayer and sound spiritual direction where God is calling one and this is of paramount importance.  Far too often, those discerning their vocation are considering more their own agenda rather than a detached consideration (prayer with sound spiritual direction required) of what God might be inviting them to embrace, not saying that personal agenda is so in your case of course. This takes time!  Sometimes we can think we are searching for God's Will but sound spiritual direction with prayer reveals it is more about one's own personal agenda.  One should not be driven into a certain vocation through fear.  Vocation and indeed holiness is never about running from, rather running towards and embracing God's Will. It is also very important to read Church Documents on the Laity as vocation and what our duties actually are.  We need to understand to what we might be called and how we are called to live it out.  Three important Documents for Laity especially as vocation :

Gaudem et Spes Pastoral Constitution on The Church in The World

Lumen Gentium Dogmatic Constitution on The Church

Vocation and Mission of The Lay Faithful in The Church and The World ("Christifideles Laici")

While the three documents above can take quite some time to read, they are very important documents for those in the lay state of life.  They can be read and probably best read over a period of time.

The vocation to which God calls one, is the most important personal vocation and no other vocation can be more important personally.  The theological scale of vocation is different, it looks at all the vocations objectively and theologically amongst which celibacy for the sake of The Kingdom is regarded as superior by The Church - and indeed Jesus speaks of this in The Gospel.  We do not have to make vows to discern and embrace the single state as our vocation.  We can make, if we choose and feel it is our call, make private vows in the single state.  Again such decisions are going to take time and discerning with prayer and sound spiritual direction.

My advice would be absolutely not to decide the single life is one's vocation unless one made the decision over a period with prayer and with sound spiritual direction - and this is vitally important and I cannot stress it sufficiently! Many can think that the 'single vocation' is an easy way, it is not.  There is in absolutely every vocation sufficient joys and sorrows, struggles, to lead one to holiness.  But, again, all of this takes a prayerful life with regular sound spiritual direction...........and on an ongoing basis.

 

[BarbTherese]

I just would like to add that if God has granted one the qualities necessary for Holy Orders and/or consecrated life, it is vitally important that one discerns these important and special vocational calls and with sound ongoing spiritual direction - not one consultation but a regular spiritual director over an extended ongoing period of time.  Discernment is a journey most often and sometimes it can be quite a journey indeed. 

Edited May 6, 2015 by BarbaraTherese

[BarbTherese]

I will be keeping you in daily prayer for your discernment journey, hotpink.  Please keep me in your own prayer. God bless.

[BarbTherese]

HOTPINK:
" I think I may be Catholic one day."

I

 I will be keeping the above in prayer too - it is a great honour and a magnificent vocation, challenging and rewarding, to be called to be Catholic -  a member of The Church as disciples of Jesus.............called to be the leaven in society, each in our own particular manner, for Jesus and His Gospel.  As today's Gospel tells us - He is The Vine, we are the branches.

____________________

Just as an aside and in a very much lighter mood:  A man approached a priest and commented "I suppose you have noticed I have not been to Mass in a very long time?"  The priest replied "Yes, I have noticed"

Man: "The reason I don't go to Mass any more is that the Church is full of hypocrites"

Priest: "Oh don't be concerned about that, we can always make room for one more"