Ex wants to be a priest

[Lynn10213]

hello, I am 17 years young. Before you read this I know i know I'm young. BUT ok please please read this I know it's long but it's worth the read and respond back it'll mean so much to me!!!

My ex boyfriend wants to be a priest:

My ex boyfriend and I started dating a year and a half ago. It was the best time of our lives. We laughed, cried together, met each other's families, shared so many memorable memories & the relationship was just perfect we probably hung out everyday. The rare occasion that we wouldn't see each other once a week. That's how much we hung out. We broke up about 5 months ago because he felt he didn't feel the same anymore & that I "changed". The break up was out of no where it was crazy. For two months I was broken and torn to pieces and cried myself to sleep every night, wondering what the heck what did I do wrong? So two months later we got back together, because he missed me and felt bad for me. We were together for two months after that, he then realized the time we were broken up he was called to be a priest & spead the word of God. I was confused and unhappy. I was never religious, never went to church or anything, through out our relationship be begged me to go to church with him the whole year and half together I went four time, to a catholic church. This was one of our hardest thing to over come, me understanding and appreciating God. I'm glad to say my first time attending was with him. I've never gone nor did I want to go because I feared judgement by others, looking at me while I stood not saying anything or doing anything or understanding, I felt it wasn't my place.

So he is apart of a retreat team at his church, so he begged me to go on a spring retreat. Remember im not even catholic and had gone to church 4 times in my life before the retreat. So I did not want to go AT ALL, but he begged and begged and said it would help me so much become closer to God because thats all I wanted, I knew God was here watching over us I didn't know a thing & I wanted to know so much more. So after a long while I said yes id go. Well a week before it he broke up with me, which then of course I really didn't want to go but thank God I did. Turns out this retreat changed me a lot and helped me become closer. Not having a clue what adoration was and going there finding out and participating in it, it was powerful and wonderful(my favorite part). I thank him, my ex, for bringing me closer to God. & I'm completely in love with the Catholic faith.

 So after the retreat I got home started to wonder, God loves me so much but why is he doing this to me, I've been going to bed crying every single night praying for help and guidance. & nothings happened. I'm suppose to trust him? But he took the love of my life away from me.... I don't get it and still don't..

i do believe this boy was brought into my life for a reason, that reason to bring me closer to God. I'm glad he did.

But still lost and confused he told me each and everyday how much I meant to him, how he could never ever leave me. He wrote me letter and drew pictures wrote poems about our future getting married watching out child grow up. I have so many letters from him saying this. And I just don't want to grasp the the fact he wants to be a priest because he didn't act like that a year ago... It's heart breaking and killing me more and more everyday. I STRONGLY believe that we are meant to be. He is suppose to help and lead me into heaven. God brought him to me for a reason. & I'm lost and confused on what to do. I know for a fact were meant to be & all of me does not want to ever let go of what we had and move on to someone else, he was the best thing I've ever had happen in my life. So why is he choosing to be a priest i don't get it, how do I move on from SOMETHING like this. He was the best & I will forever compare every guy I ever meet to him. & they'll never be perfect enough. He was so sure about me & us. :-(

Please help me and pray for me. I just want to get stronger. And hope one day he'll realize going into the seminary and becoming a priest isn't his thing. And I promise 5,10,20 years from now I'd take him back. No matter how many days, months, years I cried over him. He was my other half & we promised to be together forever and always, infinity and beyond. Because I love him so much. He helped heal some wounds, but he opened up a ton more in me after he told me he wanted to be a priest. I love and miss him more and more everyday. Please help and write back :/

[veritasluxmea]

This thread might help you, people have gone through this before... I'll be praying for you guys. 

Edited April 25, 2015 by veritasluxmea

[Maggyie]

I know it hurts BIG time. The pain you are feeling is not from God but from choices your boyfriend has made. God is close to the broken-hearted and sees every tear you cry! You have not been forgotten. 

Something that only time will heal, is you will come to understand this man probably had a very specific role to play in your life. His role is probably complete, because though he may drop out of seminary, the promises he made to you should not have been so carelessly made or broken. The one you are meant for will not wound you like this. 

And I know your heart resists thinking of that, because you are in love and in pain. But the pain will go away and your heart will be ready one day soon to love again. Believe in that because it's the truth. 

[Luigi]

First, I'm probably the least qualified person on Phatmass to answer you, but nobody else has posted yet, so I'll take a shot. 

Second, I'm sorry you're going through this. Clearly, you're upset by all these turns of events. Know that "This, too, shall pass." 

Third, don't think of him as "the love of my life." Think of him as "the love of my life so far." You're seventeen. You have a lot of good years ahead of you, and half the people you meet will be guys. To quote a really old song, "There's too many fish in the sea" to get upset about one of them. 

Next, only The Ex can tell you why he did what he did. I could speculate that he was "on dating behavior" - acting with you like he thought boyfriends were supposed to act with girlfriends based on cultural images he picked up from television and movies. I could speculate that he's deeply insecure and feels a profound need to be loved, so he strung you along until he was sure you loved him. I could speculate that the finger of God touched him and he had a Saul-on-the-road-to-Damascus conversion (that doesn't happen to many people though; but it is the epistle reading for the day). But in the end, only he can tell you.

You guys are both still in high school. It's too early for either one of you to be making permanent life plans. 

Talk to him after you've calmed down. Stay in touch with him, even if yo do break up. 

BTW, here's that song I mentioned. It's got a snappy beat which might cheer you up. And it's got a terrific attitude which might sanp you out of your upset-ness. http://mentalfloss.com/article/63427/7-ways-finland-gets-education-right 

 

 

[Ash Wednesday]

Luigi is right -- your ex was the love of your life -- so far. As it stands, you have your whole life ahead of you. 

Clearly he is still trying to discern what he wants in his life, which means he is going to need time and space. Sometimes, the best way to show someone you love them is to let them go. 

In the meantime, perhaps you can consider this an opportune time for you to continue to build your relationship with God in ways that may not have been possible before.

[seamoylantd]

Life is not fair. It is all about getting knocked back, getting hurt and having your heart broken. This is your first experience of the real world. It's not going to get easier. You can't put an old head on young shoulders, so you will just have to live this experience. It's called Maturation/ Becoming a Grown-Up/ Realizing you are not the center of the universe/ Life isn't like the movies.

If you want to know my own experience, it's fairly depressing. My Grandfather found out that his intended was thinking of joining the Nuns. He said 'Well if God wants her, I won't ask her to marry me' and she joined the Nuns. He went on to marry a violent schizophrenic who made all our lives hell, and his lady-love left the nuns and worked for the CC in the slums of Dublin and died penniless. I like to think they are together in Heaven away, very far away, from my evil Grandmother.

 

I don't know what else to tell you, except life is all about learning to move on.

Edited April 25, 2015 by seamoylantd

[seamoylantd]

http://youngandcatholic.net/2009/09/6-things-i-wish-i-understood-before-i-started-dating-2/

[John Paul]

Make sure you say a prayer for him that he may do the will of God.This I bet hurts a lot so pray a prayer for yourself too.

[Gabriela]

Welcome to Phatmass, Lynn. We will be praying for you!

[joey2hyphy]

On 4/24/2015 at 9:56 PM, Lynn10213 said:

hello, I am 17 years young. Before you read this I know i know I'm young. BUT ok please please read this I know it's long but it's worth the read and respond back it'll mean so much to me!!!

My ex boyfriend wants to be a priest:

My ex boyfriend and I started dating a year and a half ago. It was the best time of our lives. We laughed, cried together, met each other's families, shared so many memorable memories & the relationship was just perfect we probably hung out everyday. The rare occasion that we wouldn't see each other once a week. That's how much we hung out. We broke up about 5 months ago because he felt he didn't feel the same anymore & that I "changed". The break up was out of no where it was crazy. For two months I was broken and torn to pieces and cried myself to sleep every night, wondering what the heck what did I do wrong? So two months later we got back together, because he missed me and felt bad for me. We were together for two months after that, he then realized the time we were broken up he was called to be a priest & spead the word of God. I was confused and unhappy. I was never religious, never went to church or anything, through out our relationship be begged me to go to church with him the whole year and half together I went four time, to a catholic church. This was one of our hardest thing to over come, me understanding and appreciating God. I'm glad to say my first time attending was with him. I've never gone nor did I want to go because I feared judgement by others, looking at me while I stood not saying anything or doing anything or understanding, I felt it wasn't my place.

So he is apart of a retreat team at his church, so he begged me to go on a spring retreat. Remember im not even catholic and had gone to church 4 times in my life before the retreat. So I did not want to go AT ALL, but he begged and begged and said it would help me so much become closer to God because thats all I wanted, I knew God was here watching over us I didn't know a thing & I wanted to know so much more. So after a long while I said yes id go. Well a week before it he broke up with me, which then of course I really didn't want to go but thank God I did. Turns out this retreat changed me a lot and helped me become closer. Not having a clue what adoration was and going there finding out and participating in it, it was powerful and wonderful(my favorite part). I thank him, my ex, for bringing me closer to God. & I'm completely in love with the Catholic faith.

 So after the retreat I got home started to wonder, God loves me so much but why is he doing this to me, I've been going to bed crying every single night praying for help and guidance. & nothings happened. I'm suppose to trust him? But he took the love of my life away from me.... I don't get it and still don't..

i do believe this boy was brought into my life for a reason, that reason to bring me closer to God. I'm glad he did.

But still lost and confused he told me each and everyday how much I meant to him, how he could never ever leave me. He wrote me letter and drew pictures wrote poems about our future getting married watching out child grow up. I have so many letters from him saying this. And I just don't want to grasp the the fact he wants to be a priest because he didn't act like that a year ago... It's heart breaking and killing me more and more everyday. I STRONGLY believe that we are meant to be. He is suppose to help and lead me into heaven. God brought him to me for a reason. & I'm lost and confused on what to do. I know for a fact were meant to be & all of me does not want to ever let go of what we had and move on to someone else, he was the best thing I've ever had happen in my life. So why is he choosing to be a priest i don't get it, how do I move on from SOMETHING like this. He was the best & I will forever compare every guy I ever meet to him. & they'll never be perfect enough. He was so sure about me & us. :-(

Please help me and pray for me. I just want to get stronger. And hope one day he'll realize going into the seminary and becoming a priest isn't his thing. And I promise 5,10,20 years from now I'd take him back. No matter how many days, months, years I cried over him. He was my other half & we promised to be together forever and always, infinity and beyond. Because I love him so much. He helped heal some wounds, but he opened up a ton more in me after he told me he wanted to be a priest. I love and miss him more and more everyday. Please help and write back :/

Hey i know it hurts but look on the bright side he is going to do God’s will and it hurt him as much as it hurts you because he made a sacrifice of someone he loved so he can save many souls that Jesus loves. I am in the same situation as you but I broke up with my girlfriend because Jesus also called me to “give up everything and go build his church” so i had to make a decision either I am following God’s will so many souls can be saved or I ignore his will and many souls can go to hell and even myself can be condemned for disobeying God. In this time I suggest that you go to mass and try to get to know Jesus and raise up all your hurt and heartbreak up to him and he will heal you. Man i miss my girlfriend so much we were even planning to get married and everything but when Jesus called you just have to answer

[Dennis Tate]

Cephas - Peter was obviously married so perhaps the church is going to create some positions for married people soon.