Common questions about religious or consecrated life

[Carla]

I can say something about this topic.I'm in the process of entering cloister community in less then 3 months.

I have learned to talk about my future and Vocation with only small circle of people.We just live now in world with much different values then before.

I just do not want to explain my self all the time and answer on the same question for one hundredth times.All the time the same why i'm doing this?

I'm running away?Do i want children?What will be if i give up?All the time this sort of questions.I now in sensitive time period i want to spend as much i can time in preparation for my future life.I know that it will not be easy and it will be with many temptations.This kind of question only made distracted from important things.

That is not meaning that i'm not open to talk about my Vocations or other .I'm more then happy to share my experience if this can help someone in any way not only in the way of vocation.It is my personal decision to join religious life and i have decide this after long consideration and many ups and downs.I do not want to share this very easily.One friend of mine ask me why i have put my story here on internet the most public places of all.The answers for this is quite easy.I have never meet here someone with bad intentions.I think that only people who are truly interesting in religious life are coming here.I just feel my self safe here and people give me here only support and encouragement.I have meet here beautiful people who help me in many ways because they are lining similar or same fears and problems as me.I feel my self safe here as in my family who give so much support for me and my sister as we both have aspiration for religious life.I thankful for that with all my heart.

[AccountDeleted]

I'm running away?Do i want children?What will be if i give up?All the time this sort of questions.I now in sensitive time period i want to spend as much i can time in preparation for my future life.I know that it will not be easy and it will be with many temptations.This kind of question only made distracted from important things.

 

​Yes, these are some really common questions, especially for young women. I suppose you also get asked if you're afraid of men or of getting married? When someone doesn't really understand the vocation to religious life, they can be really insulting without even meaning to. It's hard for someone who doesn't understand to even imagine that a religious sister could be fulfilled and happy with such a life. 

I think you're wise to keep some things private so you can focus. Best wishes.

[MarysLittleFlower]

As to questions, they usually follow a pattern of 'How does one live without X' ...

​haha.. that makes sense that people would wonder about that I guess. It reminds me of that quote "God is enough".

[MarysLittleFlower]

I might answer the above question like:  

To quote Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman "That's just geography".  Seriously, when we enter the infinite space in the cave of the heart, the contentment and joy of unfettered love makes the outer environment as spacious as the inner one.  When we come home to our own heart, anywhere we live becomes a sanctuary and a haven and we cease to look outside ourselves for satisfaction, including the seeming freedom and/or confinement we find ourselves subject to in our outer environment.

​I think it's very true that people often look to find meaning in external things - and ultimately the true meaning is found in God, who is external to us but also lives in us so we can reach Him in our hearts.. it reminds me of that idea that the human soul is like a world, in which God can dwell, and it can be a heaven for Him on earth. So we can dwell with him there and limiting our external environment to something like a convent helps to get rid of distractions of the world, so it's easier to focus on God. But if we live in the world, we can still seek to live with Him in this way, like building a little cell in our hearts, and staying with Him there.. there are more opportunities for distractions but the more we see how good God is, the more we just want Him, and not what the world offers

[MarysLittleFlower]

When people wonder how nuns can live a cloistered life, I ask how people could sign up for the Mars mission, which means that they would NEVER see any family or friends again and will never be able to leave or go back home, and all for what?  Glory that they will never really know since they will be living in a small community with no easy access to the rest of the world? I would much rather live in a convent than go on the Mars mission!   

​Me too.. I can't imagine going to a planet like Mars for the rest of my life (it's mostly rock with barely any atmosphere and no plants, and -26 C degree temperature) and never seeing my family again, or anything. I also wouldn't go if it meant not ever going to Mass again. Yet oddly people in our secular culture might see going to Mars as much more acceptable than going to a convent...  

[MarysLittleFlower]

A question for anyone.. how would you answer questions like "are you running away from life?" or "doesn't this mean that are you afraid of marriage"? cause I think those are really common... I just can't really seem to articulate the answer in a way that makes sense. I can't seem to describe why religious life doesn't mean you're afraid of marriage, though clearly that's the truth that it doesn't mean that. The first question is also kind of tricky to answer for people who haven't felt a personal attraction to religious life. I think it's something really hard for people to understand if they never went through it themselves.. if they have a strong faith they can still appreciate it though I think.

I think it's different with marriage because most people have a natural attraction to marriage so that's more understood. Celibacy doesn't have a natural attraction rather a supernatural one only (I'm not saying that marriage has no supernatural meaning, of course it's a Sacrament and a path to holiness, and it can be God's Will for someone, what I mean is that since we have a natural desire for it it's more understood by others and related to. Some vocations involve a purely supernatural calling though).

[MarysLittleFlower]

Barbara, I'm sorry to hear that your vocation wasn't understood by others.. I definitely think that lay celibate life in the world is the least understood vocation and I've felt loneliness too in discerning it and in being single by choice myself. There can be misunderstanding even from other Catholics, and a sense of loneliness in the world because everyone around you seems to be married or getting married, or hoping to marry, and few understood why you don't want to - and not from some reason like dislike for men. In a convent there are different difficulties and trials but you're surrounded by people with similar vocation who understand it... in the world, it's different. I've felt this too though people haven't really made such comments to me, but it was just a realization of this reality. I think though this is a great opportunity to truly make Jesus everything to us... I think the more we have of human comfort, etc, or things in the world, the more 'room' we have in our heart for Jesus, for Him to be more to us. For example, if we don't have a spouse, He can be like a spouse in a spiritual way. If we are misunderstood by everyone else, we begin to appreciate more how He understands us perfectly. At least that has been my experience with Jesus using certain trials to help us God bless you!

[BarbTherese]

Barbara, I'm sorry to hear that your vocation wasn't understood by others.. I definitely think that lay celibate life in the world is the least understood vocation and I've felt loneliness too in discerning it and in being single by choice myself. There can be misunderstanding even from other Catholics, and a sense of loneliness in the world because everyone around you seems to be married or getting married, or hoping to marry, and few understood why you don't want to - and not from some reason like dislike for men. In a convent there are different difficulties and trials but you're surrounded by people with similar vocation who understand it... in the world, it's different. I've felt this too though people haven't really made such comments to me, but it was just a realization of this reality. I think though this is a great opportunity to truly make Jesus everything to us... I think the more we have of human comfort, etc, or things in the world, the more 'room' we have in our heart for Jesus, for Him to be more to us. For example, if we don't have a spouse, He can be like a spouse in a spiritual way. If we are misunderstood by everyone else, we begin to appreciate more how He understands us perfectly. At least that has been my experience with Jesus using certain trials to help us God bless you!

​What can I say but thank you very much and very well said indeed! 

[Carla]

​Yes, these are some really common questions, especially for young women. I suppose you also get asked if you're afraid of men or of getting married? When someone doesn't really understand the vocation to religious life, they can be really insulting without even meaning to. It's hard for someone who doesn't understand to even imagine that a religious sister could be fulfilled and happy with such a life. 

I think you're wise to keep some things private so you can focus. Best wishes.

​Thank you from my heart for your wishes.Yes i get also that kind of questions and it insult me in many ways.Sadly people this in now days that if you joining religious life that something is wrong with you.That is bother me in some way.I'm thinking that i very normal and only i know what i want from my life it is not weakness it is strength.

[MarysLittleFlower]

Yes I'm beginning to see that the thing that brings me so much joy could be misunderstood by others or even be seen as odd. In the worst cases it makes me feel lonely in discernment but I'm trying to remember how Jesus sees it instead. 

[TheresaThoma]

As far as the marriage one goes. I tell people that I am open to it but right now I feel that God is calling me to religious life. 

For the running away from life. I typically laugh a bit. I have experience in living in a community setting (non religious) and I tell people that you can't escape life in that setting. Community is a very harsh mirror, any flaws or coping mechanisms will come up. After living in that community I know it is easier to escape from "life" in the world (internet movies, getting to go home and be alone at the end of the night etc)  than it is in a community.

[marigold]

As far as the marriage one goes. I tell people that I am open to it but right now I feel that God is calling me to religious life. 

For the running away from life. I typically laugh a bit. I have experience in living in a community setting (non religious) and I tell people that you can't escape life in that setting. Community is a very harsh mirror, any flaws or coping mechanisms will come up. After living in that community I know it is easier to escape from "life" in the world (internet movies, getting to go home and be alone at the end of the night etc)  than it is in a community.

​A-M-E-N.