New To Parish - Parish Priest Reference?

[oratefratres]

Hi there

When one moves to a new parish, but they are discerning a vocation or udnertaking voluntary work and need parish priest reference, how do they get one? In a huge parish, the priest is not going to know who you are especially if you are new. he will only know the retired elderly church ladies and stay at home mums who run everything, and the very pushy attention seeking ones, and the parents wanting to "be noticed" to get their kid into a good Catholic school and get parish priest reference.

[Oremus Pro Invicem]

Hi there

When one moves to a new parish, but they are discerning a vocation or udnertaking voluntary work and need parish priest reference, how do they get one? In a huge parish, the priest is not going to know who you are especially if you are new. he will only know the retired elderly church ladies and stay at home mums who run everything, and the very pushy attention seeking ones, and the parents wanting to "be noticed" to get their kid into a good Catholic school and get parish priest reference.

This has not been my experience. I'm kind of a shut-in and so I'm not very active in the parish. I also usually never talk to Fr. because I always feel I will be bugging him or that he has more important things to do. I do however usually make it to Mass on week days so once when I was really sick and could not attend I had a visitor at the hospital and it was none other than Fr. He said he noticed I wasn't at Mass and thought something was wrong and inquired about me. We then had a great talk in the hospital and he encouraged me to reach out and talk to him about things which are going on in my life. He said if he wasn't insterested in speaking/helping members of the parish he wouldn't have been a priest. Now I'm not going to say every parish priest is like this, but one thing I do believe is if you attend Mass on the week days your parish priest will notice. :) Plus priests are human beings like the rest of us, so you may need to go up to your priest and introduce yourself and talk to him about your vocational needs and concerns. Think of the leper who had to say something and outstretch his hand to Jesus in order to receive healing.

[oratefratres]

yes but what about the huge parishes?

Daily mass, often is about 10 people sure. but i go to a religoius run benedictine place so the priest changes every day

 

also my situation is weird - i work in one city and live in another so daily mass in one city, sunday mass in another

[Oremus Pro Invicem]

Well our parish is huge as well but I do not have to go to two different places so that would be difficult. I recommend going up to one of the priests and ask for direction.

[truthfinder]

oratefratres, 

if you really need a reference before you are able to make a good connection within your new parish, get your old parish priest to write it, and just explain the situation.  

Sometimes, all the community needs from the current priest is that you're not a troublemaker, and then get a real character reference from someone who knows you better.

[oratefratres]

oratefratres, 

if you really need a reference before you are able to make a good connection within your new parish, get your old parish priest to write it, and just explain the situation.  

Sometimes, all the community needs from the current priest is that you're not a troublemaker, and then get a real character reference from someone who knows you better.

I dont get on with my ex PP. That is why I left.

[beatitude]

I dont get on with my ex PP. That is why I left.

 

A word of advice. You are not going to get on in your new parish either if you arrive with the idea that "the priest will only know the retired elderly church ladies and stay at home mums who run everything, and the very pushy attention seeking ones, and the parents wanting to 'be noticed' to get their kid into a Catholic school". Your first thread about your new parish was a rant about "self-important" laypeople at your new parish wearing large crosses, people whom you've barely had time to get introduced to - why not try and approach your new parish in a more trusting and hopeful way, instead of assuming that everybody is self-important or attention-seeking or having ulterior motives for wanting to speak to the priest? Go to the presbytery, introduce yourself to Father, and arrange a time to have a proper chat.

[Archaeology cat]

I was in a huge parish, didn't go out of my way to meet the priests, etc, yet they recognized me. I didn't go to daily Mass there often, either. Just introduce yourself. 

[Basilisa Marie]

Is this something you need right now? If not, you've got time to meet the pastor (or some of the priests, since you mention more than one) at your parish. Are there any parish events you can attend? More opportunities with "face time" with a priest will help him remember you and get to know you. :) 

 

And like truthfinder says, usually the volunteer positions that want a pastor's reference just want to know that you have good character and take your faith seriously, attends church regularly, that sort of thing. 

[hotpink]

You seem like you want the priest's approval, not just just be noticed and get an reference.

 

Why don't you make friends with the old ladies?  I'm a dude so making friends with moms with little kids is weird, dunno if you're a guy too so yeah.  But seriously, if this is the ministries the priest invests in then do them.  Unless they specifically say that it's a retirement group or a woman's prayer group (or guys if you're a girl) then why in the world does age or gender matter?