Not Quite Sure Where To Put This...

[justfran]

I'm so worried about my parents, my sisters, my brother-in-law and my other sister's boyfriend. My dad is pretty openly "atheist", Mum is Buddhist and my sisters claim to be Christian but I'm not sure how they are on their faith (seems pretty lukewarm), my sister's boyfriend is into that New Age spirituality and I'm not sure what my bro-in-law is. I just feel like I've gambled away their salvations with my sins (and I've done some really bad stuff before, stuff that I'd only be brave enough to mention at confession)...
It's been really hard to go through. These past few days I've just locked myself up in the bathroom or my bedroom and just let the tears roll as I pray, because I just can't stand the thought of them being lost, leaving me to be the only one of my family up in Heaven. Other times I pray and am sure that they'll all get converted. And other times I just let God take me wherever He takes me. I try and witness, especially when something comes up on TV or something, but even then, I can't think of much to say. Dad usually shakes his head and says "Christians are weird for believing in that stuff". Mum believes in God, but I think that's about it. She doesn't say anything against my witnessing.
I then read the Novena to the Sacred Heart post (it's in the Open Mic forum) andwas a bit worried about these line "Sacred Heart, [b]whatever may be Your decision[/b] with regard to my request" "[b]You have only to will it[/b] and my prayer will be granted" Could it be Jesus' will [b]not[/b] to convert those I love, and so he'd decide "no"??? I thought that, according to everything I've read about God, He'd want [b]everyone[/b] to love him - but it seems that there have been some people who have fallen away from the faith and, despite all the prayers of their families and loved ones, they died before they were able to return to God. I'm scared the people I love most on this earth are going to belong to this category!
I also read some stuff on [url="http://www.freewebs.com/eucharist/Prayers.htm"]this site[/url] about the 5 Promises of Our Heavenly Mother to Those Who Offer Their Lives to Her. I've thought seriously about offering my life to Her, only I haven't even gone through RCIA yet (you have to be baptised before you can receive Holy Communion I think???), and I'm scared it's going to be too late. The thing is, I want to get to know some Catholics in real life...I'd feel so uncomfortable attending Mass by myself and having no idea about who anyone is or what rules or customs there are. (What's an Impirmatur, by the way? And what's Nihil Obstat?)

What's the most effective way to get my loved ones to convert (aside from witnessing, because of the reasons mentioned above)? All I can think of is going off to Lourdes, getting myself some of that water and spiking their drinks with it...
Should I just keep praying and let God do what He does, or...(suggestions??)???

[dUSt]

I'm moving this topic to "Open Mic" where it will have a better chance of being answered in full.

God bless.

[Philippe]

hoollld up ... u said ur not baptised and u havent done RCIA but uve gone 2 confession :\ ?????? so confused

[justfran]

I never said I'd gone to confession, I just said I'd only be brave enough to say something in confession...I guess I should have said "in [b] a[/b] confession [b]booth[/b]" or something.

[Ellenita]

[quote]Could it be Jesus' will not to convert those I love, and so he'd decide "no"???[/quote]

Absolutely not! God wants everyone to know Him and His grace and love, and He is always there, He never turns anyone away from Him if they are seeking Him. He has however given us free will so in a sense he doesn't convert us, it's not something that we are forced to do against our will. It is hard to understand why people we love don't come to accept God's love and the Truth which is contained in His church, and of course in reality we have no way of knowing who makes it to heaven or not...we can only hope, trust and pray. No prayer said for a loved one is a wasted prayer!

[quote]I haven't even gone through RCIA yet (you have to be baptised before you can receive Holy Communion I think???)[/quote]

You need to receive the sacrament of [b]confirmation[/b] before you can receive Holy Communion. You must be baptised before you are confirmed - the Catholic church does recognise baptism which have been carried out in some protestant churches, so in my case for example, I didn't have to be baptised again before I was confrimed because the church recognised my anglican baptism as valid. Have you been baptised?

You would really find RCIA classes helpful! There will most certainly be information about these in your local church notices, or talk to a priest!

Don't be scared about going to Mass. There are often 'order of service' sheets which will help you to follow what's going on but really you will find that people will not be watching you to see whether you 'get it right or not' - their minds are focussed on the Eucharist!

You are in my prayers....

[Phazzan]

Fran, you cannot force your family into conversion. You must love and accept them regardless of whatever beliefs they hold. Even if they don’t convert doesn’t necessarily mean God will send them to hell. He is merciful, and forgiving. Remember, Jesus died for everyone, non-believers are no exception. Whatever fears you have for your family now, they will be overcome with time, because the more you learn about God and the Church, the more things will be put into perspective. God loves each and every one of us, even your family.

In regards to your question, the best way to witness to your family is to be a good virtuous Christian, hence by doing so you plant a seed of faith to which God will make grow, along with your prayers.

Also, you need not feel so guilty over past sins. We have all committed them, but God has forgiven us because we have repented. If you feel you have damaged your families perception of Christ through your actions, try to change them and surely your family will take notice.

As for RCIA, you should first call your local parish and organise a meeting with the parish Priest. He will try to get to know you on a personal level, tell you a little bit about how things are run, and will guide you to RCIA. In Australia, I think RCIA begins sometime August and runs till about May. Here you will meet some very nice folk, they will make you feel welcome and secure in your surroundings, and answer whatever questions you have about the Church. There will be other people like you, so there’s no need to feel alone or isolated. Also, the priest will try and get you to come along to Mass. If you don’t want to go alone, I’m sure the Priest will organise to have someone go along with you, and they will direct you through Mass proceedings. It’s also important to remember everything takes time. There are so many prayers and stuff to learn, you will not get it all in one go, but that’s what makes it so interesting and enjoyable.

The most important thing to remember is God is with us through it all, good times and bad. Even when we’re feeling totally alone and like there’s no one to talk to, God is everywhere and knows our concerns. Just have faith and let God work through you.

Edited June 11, 2004 by Phazzan

[justfran]

Then i really, really pray than none of them will end up in hell if what you say is true, Phazzan. Good to remember that Jesus died for ALL people.

[jasJis]

justfran,

All you can do is be the best Christian you can. God will judge your family in accordance with what He has graced them to know about Him. Do not despair! God is patient and gentle and is respectful of our Free Will. We do know the normal ways of Salvation, (graces through the Church), but God is not limited to the normal ways. The loss of Salvation is through rejection of Good (rejection of God). If they fail to see God (good) and don't know they are rejecting God (good), God will judge them perfectly. Don't forget that Jesus asked His Father to forgive those who don't know what they do. It could very well be God's plan for you to bring the reality of Christianity into the lives of your family in the next few years. Dont lose hope because it all doesn't seem fast enough for your time-frame. Trust in God's mercy and patience.

I am so glad you're here at phatmass. Thank you for letting us serve God by sharing our love for Him with you. Relax and don't fear anything. Trust in your hope in God's love for you and your family. Be joyful that you may serve God by bringing the fragrance of His love to your family.

[Mrs. Bro. Adam]

[quote name='justfran' date='Jun 11 2004, 11:12 AM'] Then i really, really pray than none of them will end up in hell if what you say is true, Phazzan. Good to remember that Jesus died for ALL people. [/quote]
Yes...Jesus died for all people, but that doesn't guarantee that all will see eternal life.

Jesus came to bring us into his family with his father. If we choose that we don't want to be a part of this family, then we can not reap the inheritance. The Christian walk isn't really a walk, it's a hike to the end. There are hurdles to move around, boulders to move, and hills all the way home. If we aren't willing to make this hike, then how can we expect our reward at the end?

Think about it as a job. We won't get paid if we don't do the work. So, we won't receive our reward if we're not going to make the journey.



God doesn't want to see anyone perish, it hurts Him to see His creation turning away from Him. However, He wouldn't be God if He didn't allow free will.

It's the free will that's keeping your loved ones from salvation, not God, not Jesus. Both of them have their arms open ready for you and your loved ones to come home. The most anyone can do is live by example and pray for them.

[justfran]

It would be really nice if you guys added your prayers, too For this is definitely a tough one to crack (I've been trying to crack it for at least 2 years now), and I don't think I can do this alone.

[Mrs. Bro. Adam]

No one can do it alone. That's why prayers are so important. Call on God and ask Him to give you strength. Pray to the saints and ask for their intercessions...and don't be afraid to ask others for prayers!

[cmotherofpirl]

Monica prayed for her son for 20 years that he would convert. He had a mistress and lived a wild life. She complained to the bishop that her son was paying no attention to her pleadings. The bishop said speak less to Augustine about God, and more to God about Augustine. She followed his advice, Augustine converted and both became great saints.

We will all pray for you and your family.

[justfran]

Okay so I have heard that sacrifice and suffering (offered up to God) does help to people, but does it all have to involve (so I have heard from some sites) whipping yourself with a chain, bathing in cold water in winter? I'm not even sure if my parents would let me fast if they knew it, in their house (I've tried to do what I can in regards to that - given up red meat on fasting days is all I've done so far, and I've tried to keep up a regular prayer routine depending on how many hours I can fit into the day). I have absolutely no idea about what praying the Hours of the Eucharist, I've tried looking it up on some sites and it's only confused me more. Basically I try and incorporate bits that I get from [url="http://penitents.org"]this site[/url] and make it inconspicuous so as not to make it look like I'm throwing myself into a phase.
I want to keep trying to be a better Christian for my family and, ultimately, for God.

[cmotherofpirl]

No no those are for people advanced in the faith and should only be done with permission of a priest guiding you on your journey.



Start with the basics.

Offering it up means whatever goes wrong in your day you unite it to suffering to Jesus.

Edited June 11, 2004 by cmotherofpirl

[Mickey's_Girl]

justfran:

Please know that I am praying for you and your family.

It sounds like you are confused about many things (aren't we all? ). I want to add my two cents' worth to say that you should definitely talk to a priest. As John Paul has said to us, "Be Not Afraid!"

Believe me, I know the idea of talking to a priest or going to Mass by yourself is scary--I'm a Protestant! But you don't have to be afraid.

Realize, too, that your sins won't send anyone to Hell. We are all accountable to God. Also realize that He loves your family FAR more than you do! Trust in him, honor him with your life, and don't be afraid.

MG