Depression

[Mary+Immaculate<3]

Hello my dear VSers!

I'm sure this has been talked about, but I'm not sure if the exact thing I'm wondering about has been.

This semester my performance has plummeted, in school and otherwise. I oversleep all the time, but never am refreshed. I talked to my sister and she and I agreed I needed help. I went to the doctor in early January for blood tests, which all came out healthy. So, now I'm 100% sure I have mild depression. After the March for Life I'm going to start an anti-depressant and counseling. I also got a YMCA membership, so I'm hoping that will help as well.

What I'm wondering about is how covents receive such cases. As of now, I do not know what will happen, though I hope to overcome this. Do convents accept post-depressive of depression-prone people?

In general I'd just like to know if any of you have gone through this, I feel pretty miserable, as I'm sure those with depression will understand. It doesn't help that 2 years ago I was spiritually relieved of a very painful loneliness and discovered my faith. Now I have so many questions about it. I "know" the answers but irrationally nothing makes sense to me right now. I don't want pity, but I know I will do better if I tell other and let them share their experiences with me.

My mind honestly is so bleak and dark sometimes, and I really feel like there isn't purpose or joy in anything. Basically the only thing I enjoy is my dance class once a week. Even Mass is hard sometimes. I don't want to go to confession because I don't know what is my fault and what is caused by the mental illness. Any advice is appreciated, seriously. Be honest or nothing at all please. God bless you guys.

[Antigonos]

I suggest you also ask your doctor about being tested for a sleep disorder.  Sleep apnea can lead one to feel, in the morning, as if you spent all night "breaking rocks in a quarry" even though you fell asleep easily and seem to sleep well.

 

Transient depression is not infrequent.  Be of good cheer; with medication and support it need not be a lifetime struggle, so don't put the cart in front of the horse just yet!

[marigold]

What she said ^^^

 

Hang in there :)

[Obonitas!]

Regarding your question regarding religious life, I would say that you give yourself some time to see how your regime works out. some communities are fine even with major depressive disorder as long as the person has the right medication, is following through on talk therapy, etc.

Other communities, especially cloistered, I have found are not as open minded and fear the very idea. Therefore, don't ruin your chances by making any announcements until you know for sure!

As for me, I was diagnosed with sleep apnea a couple of months ago. Never did I imagine I had that! It totally explains everything and the place where I am going is fine with it. All I need is my completely silent machine and frankly, nobody has to know. But entering the kind of Monastery I'm entering holds privacy very dear, so the Prioress' attitude was that it was nobody's business.

I believe many communities freak because of health costs for medications. But again, you are in the early stages of diagnosis and you could even have some sort of depression based on fears of change if you are really thinking about a major life change - anxiety can lead to low level depression.

My prayers for you, and take care. It sounds like you are doing all the right things!!!

[Sister Leticia]

In fairness to monastic communities I need to say I don't think it's about not being open minded and "freaking out" because of medical costs (here in the UK, where we have the National Health Service, monasteries are equally cautious)

 

All congregations require candidates to have sufficient mental, emotional and physical health and strength for the life to be lived. Missionary orders might have stringent requirements, because they will be sending people to remote places with poor healthcare, and maybe into dangerous situations. Orders like the MCs require strength because their work is physically demanding and their life is very austere. So if the MCs accepted a candidate with a severe back problem they'd be doing her a disservice, because she wouldn't be able to cope with the congregation's mission and lifestyle, and would have to leave, with all the pain and trauma around that.

 

And of course cloistered monastic life is tough. It's an austere life with few/no creature comforts, a plain diet and strict routine except on certain feast days, and a lot of hard often manual work. Things like night office mean never getting a full, unbroken night's sleep. Enclosure can be hard to cope with, especially if the monastery is small, with only a few acres of ground - plus not all monasteries have beautiful gardens or lovely panoramic views. And then there's the routine, the obedience, the times of spiritual aridity, the fasting, renunciations, physical separation from family and friends, missing out on family events like weddings... I could go on! Any one or two of these things would be hard, but this is a total package, and until you enter you have no idea how you're going to react, or which things will be especially tough.

 

A community's caution and concerns can be hard to accept, but there is a good reason for it.

[Mary+Immaculate<3]

Thank you all for your replies, they are helpful and informative. I'm thinking things are going to pick up, I just need to follow through in my plan I mentioned. And what you all were mentioning about different requirements for different orders, that's very helpful. I'm hooping to beat this, I'm still young and have my life ahead of me, I just need the motivation to live it fully.

[Era Might]

Just wanted to drop this bit of advice from one of my favorite writes:

 

[Mary+Immaculate<3]

Just wanted to drop this bit of advice from one of my favorite writes:

 

Which is why Crime & Punishment is one of my favorite books.