Anyone Here With Legal Understanding.

[Quietfire]

As many of you know, my brother died suddenly just before Christmas.  It's been a tough month and I guess it's only going to get worse.

 

 

His ex girlfriend just contacted me and wants some "rememberances" and says that he was "holding stuff" for her and wants it back.

 

I need some advice.

 

I haven't even thought about contacting anyone yet and have no strength for this crap.

 

I was wondering if anyone here had any legal experience.

 

Thanks

 

[Lilllabettt]

don't worry about legal stuff. It's not time for that. the next time she talks to you about it ask her to send you a written list. you can go from there, once you know exactly. what you're dealing with.

[Quietfire]

she gave me a list in the email.  she moved out eight years ago.  Some of the things she listed have been here for years, so I figured she knows what he owns...but I also figured they belonged to him since they've been here the whole time. 

 I was somewhat flabbergasted that she actually expected some of this stuff.  Other items, Im not even aware of where they are...if he even has them.  I haven't begun to go through his things.

 

She said she has a friend who wants to pick them up tomorrow.  (again...floored) and that if she doesn't hear from me, then she will be up soon to collect 'her stuff'. 

 

Legally, I would think she would have to show proof of ownership of any of the stuff listed if I refuse.  She claims he has a couple of wool rugs that belong to her that he was storing for her.  He has hardwood floors and there are no rugs in the house.  Plus she has asked for furniture that he was storing for her....again....no idea where it is.

 

She had moved out of state beginning of December and he had agreed to clean out her condo since she owed him money and he wanted to stay in her good graces to get it back.  He was at her condo when he collapsed. 

The only thing that I am certain that is hers is a very large teddy bear in the back of his truck since it was there when I went to recover his truck and I don't remember it being there before.

 

 

 

[Lilllabettt]

possession is 9/10ths of the law. 

if there is stuff you are not willing to part with, you can call her bluff and see if she will take you to small claims. 

if it isn't stuff you need or want, I would let her have it just to be rid of the issue. 

[Nihil Obstat]

If it has been there eight years without her asking for them, unless she can prove that she owns them I have a feeling that they would be considered owned by the resident.

[Oremus Pro Invicem]

she gave me a list in the email.  she moved out eight years ago.  Some of the things she listed have been here for years, so I figured she knows what he owns...but I also figured they belonged to him since they've been here the whole time. 

 I was somewhat flabbergasted that she actually expected some of this stuff.  Other items, Im not even aware of where they are...if he even has them.  I haven't begun to go through his things.

 

She said she has a friend who wants to pick them up tomorrow.  (again...floored) and that if she doesn't hear from me, then she will be up soon to collect 'her stuff'. 

 

Legally, I would think she would have to show proof of ownership of any of the stuff listed if I refuse.  She claims he has a couple of wool rugs that belong to her that he was storing for her.  He has hardwood floors and there are no rugs in the house.  Plus she has asked for furniture that he was storing for her....again....no idea where it is.

 

She had moved out of state beginning of December and he had agreed to clean out her condo since she owed him money and he wanted to stay in her good graces to get it back.  He was at her condo when he collapsed. 

The only thing that I am certain that is hers is a very large teddy bear in the back of his truck since it was there when I went to recover his truck and I don't remember it being there before.

 

 

Personally I find it rude that she would do this to you during this time.  If the things have been there for years, then why the rush?  If she gives you a list of things I would ask her to show proof of ownership.  If she cannot provide proof then the property your brother has is part of his estate.  If she tries to take things from the estate without the power of attorneys approval or the families approval then it is robbery and you should call the police. 

Edited January 18, 2015 by Oremus Pro Invicem

[Lil Red]

First, get the locks changed to his place/car/storage unit/wherever. Just in case he gave her keys to anything for some reason. Then she can't just go get what she thinks is hers whenever she wants. 

 

Be sure to document every interaction with her. Write it down in a notepad, time and date, gist of conversation. Keep hard copies of emails or texts. 

 

I don't understand her rush to claim things right now, unless she is truly worried that her things will be sold/donated/thrown away. Though if she owed him money (documented), then perhaps you could sell it and apply it to the debt? (I don't know about that though.)

[Oremus Pro Invicem]

First, get the locks changed to his place/car/storage unit/wherever. Just in case he gave her keys to anything for some reason. Then she can't just go get what she thinks is hers whenever she wants. 

 

Be sure to document every interaction with her. Write it down in a notepad, time and date, gist of conversation. Keep hard copies of emails or texts. 

 

I don't understand her rush to claim things right now, unless she is truly worried that her things will be sold/donated/thrown away. Though if she owed him money (documented), then perhaps you could sell it and apply it to the debt? (I don't know about that though.)

 

 

These are all great suggestions, especially the advice on changing the locks.  If your brother has a Will, then you should look into this since he could have listed which things are her's or which things he would like her to have.

 

Regardless of what happens, don't be afraid to tell people to back off. If you're the executor of his Will and his estate, then you should do things at your own pace and the rest of them can wait and exercise patience.     

Edited January 18, 2015 by Oremus Pro Invicem

[Quietfire]

Thanks Pham,

I am the executrix as my mother is in no condition for this.

I emailed her back and notified her that she still had a debt to him, and now to his estate and that it should be paid with a certified bank check in full.  I didn't mention any of the stuff she spoke of because I knew that it was abandoned property.  She had him clean out her condo when she moved out of state the month before and left it in shambles (really...who lives like that?)  She owns the condo and left it a wreck for him to clean up and dispose of what she didn't want anymore.  He was trying to find room for this stuff, at least some of the stuff that I am aware of, and had even asked me if I wanted it.  I told him I didn't want it. 

Some things he was keeping since he had purchased it originally and she didn't want to take it with her when she moved.  Others were, I guess, things she just didn't want to be bothered with anymore and she put the burden on him to get it out of her condo so that she could rent it.

Other items were things that he had in his home here that, I guess, she felt she had a right to since they were 'rememberances'..

 

Either way,  her rememberances will have to be the memory of him...someone that always lent her a helping hand and she made miserable by ignoring him when it suited her and letting him know that she didn't want him in her life unless she needed something.  She was such a burden on him that it often amazed us that he even answered her calls.  But again, she owed him money and he wanted to be certain that he caused no ripples to get it back.

Seriously, 4:30 in the morning she called him for coffee since her coffee maker was packed up and she didn't feel like unpacking it.

That was when he ended up setting boundaries with her.

 

He was at her condo when he collapsed.

I guess you can understand my shock when she emailed me over this nonsense. 

[Lil Red]

I'd seriously have not nice words for someone if they did to me and mine what this chick is doing to you (and did to your brother).