4LoveofJMJ Posted January 1, 2015 Share Posted January 1, 2015 from passive discernment (thinking, praying, looking at sites, etc.) to active discernment (visiting communities, making contact, etc.)? See, I've been thinking about the religious life for quite some time and don't seem to be making any more head way. Does this mean that I should start visiting communities or something? I read about religious orders and like a few of them but still don't know if one calls to me more then the others. Yet, I still seem to be dragging my feet. Could this be the fact that this type of thing scares me? Or is it God giving me some sort of sign that I can't make a move just yet. Have you guys experienced something like this? What did you do to get over it? Happy New Year!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
superblue Posted January 1, 2015 Share Posted January 1, 2015 Everything is at your discretion , there is not a time limit or a right time to cross from one bridge to another, at least speaking at this level. And what works for one person , doesn't mean it is going to work for you..... I think it would be fair to say though; that one can not discern an order simply by reading about them and viewing their website,, Fear, is normal, but if that fear prevents you from ever taking a step forward in any direction you want, then there is an issue you have to personally overcome. Plus it isn't a one way street of do I like this order vs this one, they can dismiss you at any point just as you can walk away... You say you are dragging your feet, no one here can answer the why to that, only you. An if you are just not ready, then that is fine too, it isn't like anyone is taking notes an going uh oh, so n so hasn't checked us out yet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gabriela Posted January 2, 2015 Share Posted January 2, 2015 4LoveofJMJ: It sounds to me like you need training in discernment. Have you read Fr. Gallagher's book "The Discernment of Spirits"? I highly recommend it: http://www.amazon.com/Discernment-Spirits-Ignatian-Everyday-Living/dp/0824522915/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1420166725&sr=8-1&keywords=fr.+timothy+gallagher If you can, I would also strongly suggest an Ignatian retreat. Do that, and I don't think you'll have any question about what to do next, and when. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spem in alium Posted January 2, 2015 Share Posted January 2, 2015 I agree with what's already been said. There is no time limit or deadline by which you have to be actively discerning. God knows each of us uniquely, and so He calls each of us uniquely. I don't believe any process of discernment or any vocation journey is the same. Prayer is what most helped me to make the leap and start visiting convents. Also, what pushed me was a sense of dissatisfaction. I was at the stage where I knew that I wanted my discernment to progress, but I could see that I wasn't doing a lot to help it along. I'd definitely recommend doing some reading on discernment, and taking the time to attend some discernment retreats. Even just speaking to people, like your parish priest or the Vocations Director from an order you're interested in, could be helpful. Ultimately, only you can know what's holding you back, if anything, and only you can take steps forward. Remember to be patient and open in your journey with God, and strive not to lose sight of Him. He'll be with you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vee Posted January 2, 2015 Share Posted January 2, 2015 Ive always found this article on discernment helpful http://www.lafayettecarmelites.org/god_calling.php Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4LoveofJMJ Posted January 2, 2015 Author Share Posted January 2, 2015 Hmmm I guess I was a bit hasty in making this thread. I don't think I articulated things well. Well I've been thinking about what you all have said and appreciate the advice. It just dawn on me this morning on what might be going on. When I first started thinking that I might have a vocation, I was happy and scared, but thought that I should wait just in case I was imagining things. I always dreamed of getting married and having kids so I didn't want to throw it away on a whim. After praying and reading various materials, I've become more and more convinced that the religious life is for me. Now, with all of the uncertainty that might come with this reality, I wanted to be as sure as I can be. So I kept reading, praying, and talking to people. Now I realize that I might be stuck in the"perpetual discernment" that has come up a couple of times here on VS. I have become so used to the going back and forth that I'm not quiet sure how to get out of it. There is always that fear of the unknown which I think the Devil might be behind... I want to visit some convents so bad! I'm really nervous about asking my mom to drive with me to some of them because they are too far for me to drive to on my own. I don't know how this would affect her. She seems to be coming around to the idea of a vocation to the religious life yet I'm still hesitant... Have you ever visited any communities with your parent or family member? What happened when you did? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spem in alium Posted January 2, 2015 Share Posted January 2, 2015 Hmmm I guess I was a bit hasty in making this thread. I don't think I articulated things well. Well I've been thinking about what you all have said and appreciate the advice. It just dawn on me this morning on what might be going on. When I first started thinking that I might have a vocation, I was happy and scared, but thought that I should wait just in case I was imagining things. I always dreamed of getting married and having kids so I didn't want to throw it away on a whim. After praying and reading various materials, I've become more and more convinced that the religious life is for me. Now, with all of the uncertainty that might come with this reality, I wanted to be as sure as I can be. So I kept reading, praying, and talking to people. Now I realize that I might be stuck in the"perpetual discernment" that has come up a couple of times here on VS. I have become so used to the going back and forth that I'm not quiet sure how to get out of it. There is always that fear of the unknown which I think the Devil might be behind... I want to visit some convents so bad! I'm really nervous about asking my mom to drive with me to some of them because they are too far for me to drive to on my own. I don't know how this would affect her. She seems to be coming around to the idea of a vocation to the religious life yet I'm still hesitant... Have you ever visited any communities with your parent or family member? What happened when you did? I have, yes. My parents have come with me several times when I've visited the convent, have seen the aged care facility the Sisters run, have been to a couple of celebrations, and most recently were present at the convent, along with my siblings, when I entered. Each time, it seems to have been positive for them. I can understand why some people discern privately, without involving their family too much, but for me having my parents and siblings truly part of my discernment and interacting with the Sisters has been so important and such a blessing. When I entered, the Sisters were saying how we were now all "extended family", which is really true. I'd just recommend you take it slow with your family. Show them that you would like them to be a part of your discernment journey. Invite them to visit with you, but don't push them to come along. And ultimately, pray for them. I'll keep them in my prayers, also. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gabriela Posted January 3, 2015 Share Posted January 3, 2015 I have, yes. My parents have come with me several times when I've visited the convent, have seen the aged care facility the Sisters run, have been to a couple of celebrations, and most recently were present at the convent, along with my siblings, when I entered. Each time, it seems to have been positive for them. I can understand why some people discern privately, without involving their family too much, but for me having my parents and siblings truly part of my discernment and interacting with the Sisters has been so important and such a blessing. When I entered, the Sisters were saying how we were now all "extended family", which is really true. I'd just recommend you take it slow with your family. Show them that you would like them to be a part of your discernment journey. Invite them to visit with you, but don't push them to come along. And ultimately, pray for them. I'll keep them in my prayers, also. Wait. What? You're in religious life now? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beatitude Posted January 3, 2015 Share Posted January 3, 2015 I think it helps to begin by going on a general retreat run by religious - it needn't even specifically be a discernment retreat, just some time for quiet prayer with spiritual guidance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spem in alium Posted January 3, 2015 Share Posted January 3, 2015 Wait. What? You're in religious life now? :) I entered on the Feast of the Holy Family, so am now an affiliate/candidate. but have a month left at home before I move in. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gabriela Posted January 3, 2015 Share Posted January 3, 2015 :) I entered on the Feast of the Holy Family, so am now an affiliate/candidate. but have a month left at home before I move in. I think congratulations are in order, but I'm still confused: If you entered, how are you still living at home? Do you mean you were accepted for entrance and will enter in a month? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spem in alium Posted January 3, 2015 Share Posted January 3, 2015 (edited) I think congratulations are in order, but I'm still confused: If you entered, how are you still living at home? Do you mean you were accepted for entrance and will enter in a month? Thank you. :) I was officially welcomed into the order in a ceremony on the Feast of the Holy Family, so actually "entered" on that date. But as January is a very quiet time for the Sisters, they asked if I would move in with them in early Feb. I am still living at home, but am a candidate with the Congregation already. It's kind of strange for me, too, but in a good way. :) Edited January 3, 2015 by Spem in alium Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gabriela Posted January 3, 2015 Share Posted January 3, 2015 Thank you. :) I was officially welcomed into the order in a ceremony on the Feast of the Holy Family, so actually "entered" on that date. But as January is a very quiet time for the Sisters, they asked if I would move in with them in early Feb. I am still living at home, but am a candidate with the Congregation already. It's kind of strange for me, too, but in a good way. :) Huh. That is strange. I've never heard of something like that. But I do congratulate you! :-) Should we get you a "Catholic Religious" tag on Phatmass? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spem in alium Posted January 3, 2015 Share Posted January 3, 2015 Huh. That is strange. I've never heard of something like that. But I do congratulate you! :-) Should we get you a "Catholic Religious" tag on Phatmass? Thank you. :) It's been nice, though. It's meant that I could have a relaxed Christmas and New Year with my family, rather than a rushed one, and some extra time to spend with extended family and friends and to organise myself. It's really proving to be a blessed time for me. That would be nice. :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deus te Amat Posted January 4, 2015 Share Posted January 4, 2015 Huh. That is strange. I've never heard of something like that. But I do congratulate you! :-) Should we get you a "Catholic Religious" tag on Phatmass? Thank you. :) It's been nice, though. It's meant that I could have a relaxed Christmas and New Year with my family, rather than a rushed one, and some extra time to spend with extended family and friends and to organise myself. It's really proving to be a blessed time for me. That would be nice. :) Boom done. Congrats, Spem! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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