PhuturePriest Posted December 24, 2014 Share Posted December 24, 2014 (edited) I tried to edit what we have so far so that the meter is consistent. Does it work? "My parish priest, he faces east, not versus populum" is a great line, but it's one syllable too short. It would fit if it was rather "and not versus populum." Same for "formal clothes in back". Make it "and formal clothes in the back." Edited December 24, 2014 by PhuturePriest Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ancilla Domini Posted December 24, 2014 Share Posted December 24, 2014 "My parish priest, he faces east, not versus populum" is a great line, but it's one syllable too short. It would fit if it was rather "and not versus populum." That would also be too short. It has to have the same number of syllables as "I am the very model of a Tridentine enthusiast," which is 16 syllables. Your modified line is still only 15 syllables. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhuturePriest Posted December 24, 2014 Share Posted December 24, 2014 That would also be too short. It has to have the same number of syllables as "I am the very model of a Tridentine enthusiast," which is 16 syllables. Your modified line is still only 15 syllables. It's not perfect, but if you use every syllable on every beat (In other words, don't use both syllables in "parish" on one beat) you can do it and make it sound alright. Part of lyrics is making things that don't inherently work and messing with them to make them work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HopefulHeart Posted December 24, 2014 Share Posted December 24, 2014 My closet's full of tweeds in front, and I've got formal clothes in back My shelves are full of Chesterton and Fulton Sheen and Mosebach I always open doors for ladies wearing black mantilla veils The sight of lacy surplices has never ever made me quail My parish priest, he faces east, and never versus populum. He can recite from memory the great Summ'um Pontificum. I tried to get eight pairs of unstressed and stressed syllables (iambic octameter). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhuturePriest Posted December 24, 2014 Share Posted December 24, 2014 My closet's full of tweeds in front, and I've got formal clothes in back My shelves are full of Chesterton and Fulton Sheen and Mosebach I always open doors for ladies wearing black mantilla veils The sight of lacy surplices has never ever made me quail My parish priest, he faces east, and never versus populum. He can recite from memory the great Summ'um Pontificum. I tried to get eight pairs of unstressed and stressed syllables (iambic octameter). So much better. Great job on fixing certain problems that were blocking fluidity in the words. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HopefulHeart Posted December 24, 2014 Share Posted December 24, 2014 So much better. Great job on fixing certain problems that were blocking fluidity in the words. Thanks, I enjoy writing poems with meter. I once got extra credit in a physics class for writing a sonnet about a topic in quantum mechanics. :| I'll try to think of more lines to include in the song! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gabriela Posted December 24, 2014 Author Share Posted December 24, 2014 (edited) Here's a guide: I am the very model of a Tridentine enthusiast [A] A A A A A B oh, oh, "B"... Got it! B C C In short in matters ... A I am the very model of a Tridentine enthusiast. D D E E F F G oh, oh, "G"... Got it! G H H In short in matters ... A I am the very model of a Tridentine enthusiast. [slow] I I J J K K L oh, oh, "L"... Got it! L [fast] M M But still in matters... A I am the very model of a Tridentine enthusiast. Edited December 24, 2014 by Gabriela Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gabriela Posted December 24, 2014 Author Share Posted December 24, 2014 Ok. Here's where we stand. Verses marked *** need work to make them flow. I am the very model of a Tridentine enthusiast I much prefer consubstantialis to homoousious I live close to Missouri and know who the real St. Louis is I like to quote the PBC and obscure Roman dubias I made the Total Consecration as a hyperduliast I await 3 days of darkness and a king like Alfonso of Asturias*** B oh, oh, "B"... Got it! B C C In short in matters cultural [?], liturgical, and A*** I am the very model of a Tridentine enthusiast. My closet's full of tweeds in front and ceremonial clothes in back My shelves are full of Chesterton and Fulton Sheen and Mosebach I always open doors for ladies wearing black mantilla veils I complement young men on how they look in their black chasubles My parish priest, he faces east, and never versus populum He can recite by heart all of the great Summ’um Pontificum*** G oh, oh, "G"... Got it! G H H In short in matters cultural [?], liturgical, and A*** I am the very model of a Tridentine enthusiast. [slow] I I J J K K L oh, oh, "L"... Got it! L M M But still in matters cultural [?], liturgical, and A*** I am the very model of a Tridentine enthusiast. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gabriela Posted December 24, 2014 Author Share Posted December 24, 2014 Free-writing: Cigars Vans Fish on Fridays Latin! Pope Pius X The FSSP Burying the Alleluia Rorate Masses ... Put your ideas in to spark others' imaginations! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gabriela Posted December 24, 2014 Author Share Posted December 24, 2014 I listened to the original again. Here's a fix: I am the very model of a Tridentine enthusiast I’m traddy in the cultural, liturgical, and ***-ast*** I live close to Missouri and know who the real St. Louis is I like to quote the PBC and obscure Roman dubias I much prefer consubstantialis to homoousious I made the Total Consecration as a hyperduliast I await 3 days of darkness and a king like Alfonso of Asturias*** oh, oh, "B"... Got it! B Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Feankie Posted December 24, 2014 Share Posted December 24, 2014 You think we can get it published when it's finished ?! :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhuturePriest Posted December 24, 2014 Share Posted December 24, 2014 I listened to the original again. Here's a fix: I am the very model of a Tridentine enthusiast I’m traddy in the cultural, liturgical, and ***-ast*** I live close to Missouri and know who the real St. Louis is I like to quote the PBC and obscure Roman dubias I much prefer consubstantialis to homoousious I made the Total Consecration as a hyperduliast I await 3 days of darkness and a king like Alfonso of Asturias*** oh, oh, "B"... Got it! B That last line has way too many syllables to fit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gabriela Posted December 24, 2014 Author Share Posted December 24, 2014 That last line has way too many syllables to fit. Hence the asterisks. :| Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gabriela Posted December 24, 2014 Author Share Posted December 24, 2014 You think we can get it published when it's finished ?! :) PVE is going to sing it and we'll post it on Youtube. A la "I am the very model of a biblical philologist". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gabriela Posted December 24, 2014 Author Share Posted December 24, 2014 (edited) My white van seats ten persons and still not all of my children fit On Ember Days I bake a cod, on Fridays I fry cat-a-fish [LOL] On Sundays I break out the [trad liquor?] and smoke a fine Cuban cigar*** And on the feast of Pope Saint Pius Ten I *** [how does a trad go all out?] Edited December 24, 2014 by Gabriela Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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