Before Anyone Asks...

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I would love to respond to each post individually but honestly, I don't have time for that, so I will just say thank you to all for your lovely posts.

 

The good thing about the job is that I have a lovely, very large room, set up almost like an apartment, with double bed, sofa, TV, desk, CCTV monitor, plenty of wardrobes, cabinets, chests of drawers, coffee table, rug over wood floors, fridge, kettle, food cupboards, ensuite bathroom, etc. It is warm and cozy and very much like a little sanctuary for me. The residents can knock on the door, but they don't come in, I go out to them, so it is my 'safe place'.

 

Since I am here 24/7 I have to sleep here every night for security reasons, although I can go out during the day as necessary, which I do, as I have to make sure the kitchen is supplied with breakfast foods such as bread, milk, bacon and eggs, and a few other things - they do all their own cooking though and supply their own food for lunch and dinner. The actual work involves cleaning rooms when a resident moves out (they take care of their own rooms while they live here), offering them clean linen once a week and washing the soiled sheets and pillow cases, etc, and also cleaning the common areas like kitchen, laundry, and a few bathrooms (most of the residents have en-suite toilet/showers but there are three other bathrooms for the two or three rooms that don't have their own). I also get notified by the owner when the Council is going to send a new resident. For example, today she texted me that a family might be moving in, but then later she texted to say that they wouldn’t. If new residents come, I give them an orientation to the place, breakfast supplies, other cooking facilities, rules of the house, inform them of fire safety measure, how to use the washing machine and dryer, where to put rubbish and recycling, etc, etc. We haven’t had anyone new since the drug addict left so perhaps next week some new ones will come. It has been pretty quiet this past week which has been good for me because I have needed to do my own business duties, like getting a bus pass and library card, registering with the health centre, and informing various government agencies of my new address since I was last here (when I was at WV Carmel). And today I came back home to find that the royal Mail had tried to deliver my Divine Office book but I was out, so I had to go online and ask for a redelivery to my local post office. You know, all the little things that are involved in moving to a new place.

 

 I have been very busy trying to get some organisation back into the place this week as well, after much neglect, but I am not killing myself over it as I know that I can only get done what I can each day, and as each area is organised, there will be less and less work for me to do, just weekly maintenance. This means I will have plenty of time for myself. With the few exceptions (the drug addict springs to mind), most of the residents keep to their own rooms or go out during the day. They all have TVs and fridges and really, apart from running into them in the kitchen when they are cooking, or when I change their laundry once a week, or vacuum the hallways and stairs and clean the bathrooms, it can be a very quiet place, like a monastery where the nuns are each working in their cells! LOL 

 

Fig, I won't have to learn to ski because where I am, we don't get much snow. It is on the coastline and perhaps the winds coming off the water have something to do with it, but the locals tell me when we do get snow, it doesn't last. I lived in upstate New York for 2 years and also in Edmonton, Canada - now there you can talk about snow! The weather here seems much like Melbourne, with the main difference being that I am sure the summers won't be quite as hot.

 

The accents are a delight and remind me of my old Scottish aunties, who never 'lost' their accents despite all their years of living in Australia. I use them as proof to people who wonder why I haven't 'lost my American accent' - one can't lose an accent - they have to take on another one and I can't do the Australian one or the English, just as they couldn't. I think it has something to do with where one goes to school.

 

I do sometimes take on the American southern accent (I love the Alabama accent) when I spend too much time around someone from the south, but it's just such an infectious accent, I can't seem to help it, and I am sure that some people think I am making fun of their accent, when really, I just can't seem to help falling into the rhythm of the southern drawl- I love it. But I also love the Scottish one and for the most part I am ok with what they say, but when two of them get to talking very quickly to each other, using lots of slang, then I get lost along the way. I absolutely love the 'Aye' and 'Nae' though. I found myself saying aye the other day in a shop instead of yes, and it just felt so good! lol Maybe I will end up with a Scottish accent – it is a lot easier to copy than an English one.

 

Anyway, this all has nothing to do with Vocations, so I will stop here -- my Vocation now is a private one between God and myself, but I am praying for everyone who is interested in the priesthood, monastic or religious life, and hermits and CVs and anyone who simply wants to dedicate their life to God through Jesus. God calls each of us in a very special and unique way, and although I support the 'official' ways that one can give their life to God, I think it would be limiting to assume that God doesn't accept each and every person's offering, in whatever form they are able to make it. Sometimes a 'failed vocation' is simply a training ground for what God has planned for someone. I feel as if I have spent the last eight years in the 'university of religious life' in order to transform me into an instrument of God's will, with no supports but Him and no desire other than to please Him. Beatitude, I understand the attraction to secular institutes, but feel no call towards one, at least not now. There is something so special about feeling as if I belong to Jesus alone – just Him and me – and nothing else. I can’t wait until Monday, when I can pick up my Divine Office breviary because the one I am using just doesn’t lend it itself well to chanting, and I chant the Office as part of my daily prayers. That, and the Rosary are my main focus, and of course, the time I spend in quiet contemplation with Him alone.

 

Barb, you talk about consolations and suffering. We all experience suffering in this life, Catholic or non-Catholic-- it is part of being a human being. It's a necessary part of the shaping process. It isn't the suffering that matters, it is how we respond to it. And that doesn't mean there is a right way or a wrong way to respond- there is simply 'our way'  for each individual. God then uses that response to shape us even more. If anyone has ever seen a blacksmith shaping a horseshoe in a forge, that's the picture I get in my mind when I think of suffering. Into the heat, beat the horseshoe on the anvil for awhile, stick it into the cooling water. Back into the heat, shape by beating on the anvil some more, then into the cooling water. Of course horseshoes don't have feelings, as we do, but the point is that there is no end to suffering in this life – because when the shaping is completed, then God calls us home to Him. He is shaping us to be perfect for Him – not for anyone else, and not to conform to anyone else’s ideal.

 

The greatest blessing for me is that I have experienced the beauty of contemplation my whole life, even before I became a Catholic. I used to meditate for hours every day, and the experience was God to me, but God in a form that was impersonal and overwhelming. It is only since Jesus revealed  Himself to me in a ‘road to Damascus’ experience that God became personal for me, and now when I pray, contemplation is His gift of Himself to me – and we become one for that period of time. I can’t say that it has made me a better person or a more holy one, which is what is supposed to happen, I understand, but the gift He has given me, is to be able to trust in Him completely, which allows me to accept myself for the weak and sinful creature that I am without flinching or worrying about it. He makes up for what I lack, and I know I am loved. I know that each one of us is loved in the same way – completely and totally and without reservation of any kind. And He will never stop loving us either, no matter how hard we fight Him. Julian of Norwich said it so well when she quoted Jesus as saying ‘All shall be well and all manner of things shall be well.’

 

If we have God in our corner, knowing that Jesus loves us and intercedes for us in every moment of our life on earth, then what have we to fear? Over and over and over again He shows me how much He loves me. My life is not without suffering, but even that is a joy in that it brings me closer to Him. The only thing that could be greater than knowing His love here on earth, would be to actually be with Him in heaven, face to face, and embracing Him with total abandonment.

 

Thank you all so much for you kind posts.

 

[AnneLine]

Nunsense, hadn't had a chance to drop in a few words (I'm just not on here much any more) but I also have been praying for you a lot over the last weeks, and it sounds like you are very much in the place God wants you.  what more could any of us ask for any of us?

 

Sometimes I think God is the Great Recycler... the things we would toss out without a thought He turns into things of such beauty....  none of this has been wasted time... it has been and continues to be your journey with your Beloved.   Move forward in love, my friend.  The call you are following is a very sacred one....  

 

Pray for us as we pray for you!!!!  

[Blessed&Grateful]

We get to see you more often! maybe that was His will all along.

 

:hehe2: