Helicopter Parenting

[Gabriela]

To the OP: Yes, it's a bad thing. And when the day comes that some helicopter parent calls me up, like they have my colleagues, to tell me that I must be an idiot because Johnny is a straight 'A' student and I stupidly gave him a 'B', I will gently place the phone back on the hook and go back to work.

 

Fortunately, that day isn't likely to come anytime soon, because they took all the phones out of the grad student offices. Right along with the dignity.

 

Budget cuts, you know.

 

Hard times.

[Gabriela]

(Mis)trust and (in)dependence are not the same thing. That's why we have two different words for them. I think I get where the equation comes from: In trusting God, we make ourselves totally dependent on Him. If we don't make ourselves totally dependent on Him, it's usually because of a trust issue.

 

And parents are kind of like God for children, so I can see where one would wish to extend the relationship. But I don't think it works (especially at FP's age), because our dependence on God is primarily an interior, spiritual dependence, not an external, material one. Sure, in a sense, God feeds me, but He does not lift the spoon every morning and play airplane with me to literally feed me my cereal. I do that myself (sans the airplane).

 

So, even though there certainly is some resemblance between the God–human and parent–child relationship, the analogy doesn't hold all the way. At some point, most of us leave our parents' home, and cease to tell them every detail of what we're doing, and I don't see why one wouldn't go ahead and begin to prepare for that time while still in one's parents' home. It isn't as if FP is holding wild parties while his parents are at work. The things he's doing aren't in any way disrespectful to his parents or a violation of their trust. He's just building his own future, which, in my opinion, is what all good parents want their kids to do. In fact, they make a point of raising kids to be able to do that.

 

So... I just don't see a problem.

[veritasluxmea]

If you are 21+ and your parents know every single detail of your life and what you're thinking before you act on it... You need new friends. It's one thing to bring up in discussion that you're thinking of asking so and so out or are looking for advice on an issue, another to run each decision by your parents for their approval. My mom always said her goal was to raise her kids to be responsible adults, not be the responsible adult for them. 

[little2add]

What is there not to trust them with? I don't rely on them to do things for me, but that doesn't mean I don't trust their judgement or something. They really like it, actually. They like that I'm mature enough to handle calling colleges and setting things up myself, and it makes them feel better that I don't have to rely on them to do what I should be able to on my own.

It sounds to me like you don't value there opinion

[Gabriela]

It sounds to me like you don't value there opinion

 

Your username is quite misleading.

 

Before judging a person and their family circumstances, you might at least ask some questions to clarify circumstances!

[little2add]

Are you talking about Marie in the TV sitcom "everybody loves Raymond" kind of parenting?