When Loved Ones Distance Themselves...

[AnneLine]

BrandeelynMarie, I think I agree with what everyone has been saying.  Vee8 made a really good point -- it is pretty common for people to 'be the first to shove away' if they expect a loss -- and even though YOU will be moving to something new and wonderful (God willing!) a lot of people will experience that as a loss of you in everyday life.  But that's true ANY time we make choices to do thing A rather than thing B -- "B" is a loss, while "A" is a gain.   Yes?   Or at least so it appears at first!  

 

BUT what often happens is that people learn that they do have a continuing - albeit changed - relationship with you -- and if it is a good relationship, it changes and grows along with you.  But yeah, some people do push you out of the nest before you can fly.  And it hurts a lot.

 

Don't hesitate to come to us if you need a hug, OK?   

 

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Antigonos, I sent you a PM right after you were FINALLY correctly identified as a 'cordial non-Catholic' --  but I don't think it went through.  I also have sent regular email that hasn't gone through -- I think because at one point my email account was spammed, so your system doesn't think I am all that cordial!   If you still have the address, try to email me on my hotmail account?   Then your email may figure out I am friendly! Thanks!

 

Also, I think your PMs should be working -- I think you have enough posts to qualify -- so I'd 'report' this thread and let the m.o.d.s know that you are having problems with the PM system.  (I know it has been an issue for some of the Vocation Directors and other people as well -- it may be that the left overs from the time when the PM system was turned off a few months ago are still in the back of the Phatmass fridge, so to speak... so let the m.o.d.e.r.a.t.o.r.s know.)  You can't PM them normally, so just send the message to them that way.

 

I also want to thank you for having put my Mother-in-Law, Charlotte, daughter of Rose, into the Wall when she first became ill over two years before her death in September.  I know it was very consoling to me, my husband, Charlotte and her family to know that you cared enough to do that. <3

 

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Max, what you wrote about pre-grieving Aaron makes sense -- because there are little losses each and every day!   And the better you work through those now -- as well as collecting the good memories and moments -- the better able you will be able to deal with the tougher ones and ultimately his death.   :hug:   and we're here for you.   (In case any of the VSers don't know, Max has a thread on Open Mic where we can go to give her support... here's a link:  http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/topic/135973-update-and-info-thread/   We're here for you, Max.)   

Edited November 8, 2014 by AnneLine

[Antigonos]

Thank you antigonos....his name is Aaron and his mum's name is Sue.

Consider it done. I will be in the Old City tomorrow.