Before I Do Anything I Regret

[superblue]

 I have noticed i am slipping into an old habit again, being developing an online friendship with a female; but oddly enough it seems to actually be a healthy one versus plenty of knee jerk stories that should be told to a therapist in private. But i realized i am starting to care about her enough to try and persuade her to think about not doing certain things in her life that really are not benefiting her, and i view it as a poor way to seek attention, to get that positive compliment that people enjoy getting... it isn't anything where i am crossing a line, i do know my boundaries , i guess if i can compare it , it would be similar to smoking pot, it isn't the worst drug in the world, but it isn't doing anyone any favors.  and so in that analogy i am basically asking her to consider to stop smoking pot.

 

And the frustration for me sets in, because i need friends in my life, but i always seem to take the safety of the internet, where i can open an close friendships at my liesure , and in the process i occassionally start developing feelings which i honestly did not intend to this time. And i have some charitable people i talk to in college, but the age ranges are so far off, at least with the females so it would be awkward to try and develop a neutral friendship with a female in college, but the guys i am starting to know barely, seem to be in my age range ,so why not see where that leads to in the world of real life friends i know.

 

anyhow,, back to point, this gal i am noticing today is getting under my skin, and i am afraid i am going to just have to fade away the friendship and let it go, because facts are facts , i could do a million things to try and build on our friendship and still get rejected and heart broken by her, or hypotheticallizing, something stirs up to be good, then i am fighting tooth an nail to make a permanent move that may not pan out in the end, or i can just throw those thoughts out the door, dont talk about with her what i was talking about again, let it go, and enjoy being friends, stick on the path i am on, and by the end of the year or some time next year just let the online friendship fade away and appreciate having had someone kind in my life for a change.

 

what ever.

 

vented and done

[Ed Normile]

My father always told me anyone is lucky if they have real friend or two in life. He explained its easy to have friendly acquaintances, buddies and the like but you are truly blessed to find a true friend. Perhaps if you did not think about it so much ....

 

I am the type that talks to everybody and I have tons of people to talk to and for that reason  I have many that tell me they consider me a friend, which is flattering, but I have 3 friends that I have known for life that to this day when I see them its like we just seen each other yesterday. Friends can be needy and need to vent as well as anyone and they are there for you when its your turn.

 

ed