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Not To Disappoint You


PhuturePriest

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PhuturePriest
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So flying wasn't bad. The first flight was unpleasant because it was pitch black, and for some reason the pilot decided once we ascended 35,000 feet that it was a good time to take a hard left, and then another hard left, and then another, so there was really bad turbulence for that whole ordeal. However, the second flight I flew over one of the Great Lakes, which immediately brought to mind the beginning scene to Lost when they are flying over the ocean.

So that was fun.

So I suppose I might as well say why I was in Indiana for 8 of the longest days of my life. I spent a week of discernment with a community in Indiana. When I arrived, the Brother who picked me up warned me that the life was one of extreme penance, and that it was essentially self-imprisonment. In my mind, I was like "It can't be that bad, can it?"

Yeah, turns out it is. I spent the first hour of my first night crying my eyes out over how awful it was. They claimed they are an active community, but that was a damnable lie. They wake up and do three and a half solid hours of prayer, kneeling on the hardwood floor the entire time. This is all before they've even had breakfast.

Seriously. Even when they go to Mass, they're not allowed to use the kneelers.

I still can't figure out what about them was active other than the fact that they are in theory allowed to leave the friary. All we did every single day was pray 8 hours and clean. It was like living like a Carmelite nun without the benefit of a cooler habit.

Anyway, I prayed really hard all week (not that I had the choice on that matter), and I discerned I do not have a their charism, as even when we did occasionally go out to help the poor, that didn't really speak to me or bring me fulfillment, so I'm visiting a Dominican province soon to discern with them.
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veritasluxmea

I was wondering where you went. It sounds like an interesting week, even if you didn't enjoy it that much. Builds character, right? Which Dominican province are you visiting? 

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PhuturePriest

I was told off on my second day during the jam session. Apparently AC/DC isn't allowed to be played in the friary. According to them, AC/DC stands for "Anti-Christ/Devil's Children". According to the band, it isn't an acronym and it's just the electrical term for "Alternating Current/Direct Current" but what would the band know, anyway?

 

I was also told several days later that I must stop reading Harry Potter, because it has a secret Wiccan agenda and it mocks the Mass in one of the books. They kinda lost the remaining trust I had in their judgment after that.

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PhuturePriest

Wow dude. Are they ordinary Franciscans or one of the spin off groups like Franciscans of the Immaculate or TOR?

 

Spinoff group. They live the Capuchin constitutions of 1531 scrupulously, which is why they live so extremely.

 

I was wondering where you went. It sounds like an interesting week, even if you didn't enjoy it that much. Builds character, right? Which Dominican province are you visiting? 

 

It definitely built character, and it made many things clear in my mind. One thing I didn't mention is that the mother of one of the Brothers died, and so I and 30 friars drove to Denver in order to go to the funeral, and we stayed several days at Saint John Vianney Theological Seminary. Why that strikes me very hard is that's the major seminary the diocese I grew up in uses, and while there I thought very hard about becoming a priest there, because it is in such dire need of priests. As I thought about it, a peace I have never felt before came over me. Not happiness or joy, mind you, as being a priest there means becoming a priest in one of the most difficult dioceses the U.S. has to offer, but peace. I'm visiting the Dominicans simply because I want to make absolutely sure about a prospective religious vocation either way before I amass thousands of dollars of seminary debt, and because I love Dominicans a lot.

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veritasluxmea

It definitely built character, and it made many things clear in my mind. One thing I didn't mention is that the mother of one of the Brothers died, and so I and 30 friars drove to Denver in order to go to the funeral, and we stayed several days at Saint John Vianney Theological Seminary. Why that strikes me very hard is that's the major seminary the diocese I grew up in uses, and while there I thought very hard about becoming a priest there, because it is in such dire need of priests. As I thought about it, a peace I have never felt before came over me. Not happiness or joy, mind you, as being a priest there means becoming a priest in one of the most difficult dioceses the U.S. has to offer, but peace. I'm visiting the Dominicans simply because I want to make absolutely sure about a prospective religious vocation either way before I amass thousands of dollars of seminary debt, and because I love Dominicans a lot.

Wow again. Prayers for you.  :nun3:

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PhuturePriest

Wow again. Prayers for you.  :nun3:

 

I'm literally going to apply to a diocese that has Dominican Sisters who teach at the Cathedral that Jesus didn't establish a Church, so you can go to any "church" you want, and that there is no mortal sin, that women should be priests, etc, etc. Saint John Vianney will be a close friend of mine. :P

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veritasluxmea

I'm literally going to apply to a diocese that has Dominican Sisters who teach at the Cathedral that Jesus didn't establish a Church, so you can go to any "church" you want, and that there is no mortal sin, that women should be priests, etc, etc. Saint John Vianney will be a close friend of mine. :P

:| Yeah.... might want to get some rest and re-think that one. I once considered apply to an order that was a mess but had potential, didn't really think it would affect me because I "knew the truth." Besides, their issues were more with administration. Realistically speaking, it's just not a good idea. Being a priest/religious is hard enough without having the cards stacked against you from the first day of formation. For myself, I know that I want to pursue sanctity along the path of religious life; and I need all the help I can get, from the beginning. I decided not to join. Not saying that's right for you. The seminary may be better even if the sisters have a presence in the diocese, so idk. It's late, I need to rest too lol. 

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PhuturePriest

:| Yeah.... might want to get some rest and re-think that one. I once considered apply to an order that was a mess but had potential, didn't really think it would affect me because I "knew the truth." Besides, their issues were more with administration. Realistically speaking, it's just not a good idea. Being a priest/religious is hard enough without having the cards stacked against you from the first day of formation. For myself, I know that I want to pursue sanctity along the path of religious life; and I need all the help I can get, from the beginning. I decided not to join. Not saying that's right for you. The seminary may be better even if the sisters have a presence in the diocese, so idk. It's late, I need to rest too lol.


I have no dillusions as to the difficulty of this. But last May when I spoke to the vocation director of my current diocese about applying to seminary, he told me to contact my home diocese and apply there. Then, several days later when I spoke to another diocese about possibly going there, I was told the same thing. Then, on my visit to the community in Indiana, four States away, I somehow end up at the seminary my diocese uses. As Saint John Paul II said, "Nothing is coincidence."
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LOL. Sounds like my visit to the Carthusians. I didn't cry, but I did find myself angrily thinking all the time: "WHAT IS THE BLEEPING POINT OF ALL OF THIS?!?!?!"

 

rotfl

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Tab'le De'Bah-Rye

I would have you shrink your AC/DC CD in the oven and Burn the Harry Potter series in an open kettle drum in front of me so i knew for sure you burnt it. :reaper:

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This made me laugh. :) I can't quite see you living that life. As St Teresa of Avila once said when someone criticised her for eating heartily at a feast, "There is a time for penance and a time for partridges," and you seem to be the type to appreciate God's partridges. I will pray for your discernment with the Dominicans and at the seminary.

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They wake up and do three and a half solid hours of prayer, kneeling on the hardwood floor the entire time. This is all before they've even had breakfast.

 

 

I said a four-letter word (it wasn't 'love').

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