Tired Of It

[lost_in_this_world]

I am so tired of not being happy with what I am doing or where I am, as well as everyone telling me to get a new job or move somewhere else (and everyone needs to stop reminding me of that).  My life is not what I wanted it to be and it's frustrating.  I work a really hard/demanding job where I allow my bosses to take advantage of me because I don;t know where I want to work next.  I really just want things to work out the way I always imagined them to.....I'm tired of this.

[brandelynmarie]

:console: I'm afraid I don't have any advice for you right now, but I'm praying for you...

[CatherineM]

Start looking for a new job. If you can't find one, create one.

[Basilisa Marie]

My life wasn't what I wanted it to be for a long time, especially the last two years. My degree progress was stagnant, my friends lived elsewhere, I worked a soul-sucking job, and no one would cut me a break so I could start doing what I wanted with my life. I'm not completely out of the woods, but it's better. 

 

It won't always be this way, but it probably will be this way for a while.  The way I coped was doing the best I could with what I had, trying to find some small moments of satisfaction amid the poopfest. Do you have a regular prayer life? Do you have time for a small hobby, like something creative? Even just gardening in the evenings shed a little light in my days. Once you figure out what you want for the long game, you can start putting it into action. But in the meantime, the way I got through it was prayer + creativity. 

[Gabriela]

I can relate to this because I've been there (and still am, to some degree). But those people who get on your nerves because they're telling you to look for something else have good intentions—and they're right. You can't just sit there and dwell in your misery. You need to make a change. YOU. No one's going to do it for you. That's why they tell you what they do.

 

I know that, when you don't know what you want to do, you don't know how or where to make a change. It's like you're paralyzed. But I am telling you that you need to make ANY change. Tell yourself that you're just going to try out different things you're interested in, jobs that sound good. Even just applying for jobs will give you the feeling that you're trying, you're starting, you're on your way. It will give the sense that things are moving, like you're not just stuck and frustrated.

 

So just do SOMETHING. What doesn't really matter in the beginning!

 

Also: Drop the expectation that your life will ever be what you want it to be. 99.9% of people never achieve that. If you're of my generation, your mom probably told you that you can be anything you want to be and you'll be good at everything you do. It's bullpoo. We don't plow our way through our lives. Things happen to us. People wrong us. We're never given a chance. Our gifts and talents get overlooked. Work to get what you want at the same time that you pray for God to give you the grace to accept whatever He sends you, and to be grateful for it. Trust me: You'll be a hell of a lot happier that way.

 

I'm not trying to sound like a drill sergeant or a motivational speaker or a life coach. But judging by your minimalist description of your circumstances, I've been where you are. And this is what I've learned. And it's not an individual thing. It's human—and it's especially problematic in contemporary America because we were raised with "sky's the limit" expectations and then the economy came crashing down on our heads.

 

But this is real life today. So we do our best and stay optimistic and thank God—as much as possible.

 

For you:  :pray:

[Maggyie]

You have an Expectation Hangover... That miserable feeling when life is not working out like you were told. Or how you expected.

I'm there. All you can do is accept it as part of adulthood and try to make it better. People constantly tell me to get a new job too, it's just this is actually the best job I've ever had. It's just a really stressful field I'm in.

And people who tell you "just switch fields" have never done it! It's another full time job all by itself and when you come home utterly drained from your real job it's hard to summon the energy to pursue a pipe dream.

I second Basilisa's suggestion of a hobby like gardening... Something to give you little victories in your life. Sometimes these small ones can snowball into larger ones.

[Gabriela]

I've done it (i.e., switched fields). I did it twice, actually. And I'm still in a life-consuming, soul-sucking job. That's just the nature of non-starvation-wage employment these days. (I actually STILL earn starvation wages. I work my life away just for the "opportunity" to make it big some day.) We do need massive economic change in the labor market. But in the meantime, giving your life to something you at least find meaningful (or accepting starvation wages and having time for hobbies) is the best we can do.

 

That being said, if you do have any time for a hobby, that's a good idea. Find fulfillment somewhere other than work. Most of us have to.

 

I should have said: I know my post (and probably most of those "reality checks" here) is not encouraging. But the one thing you can take consolation in is knowing that you are not alone. Most people feel like you do, or at least have gone through that period of late-20-something disillusionment where you realize all the hippy-happy crap you were told in high school and college is a lie. The world is a merciless grind. But as Christians, we are here for each other. So you are welcome to come vent any time you like. We'll be with you.  :console:

[Anomaly]

I am so tired of not being happy with what I am doing or where I am, as well as everyone telling me to get a new job or move somewhere else (and everyone needs to stop reminding me of that). My life is not what I wanted it to be and it's frustrating. I work a really hard/demanding job where I allow my bosses to take advantage of me because I don;t know where I want to work next. I really just want things to work out the way I always imagined them to.....I'm tired of this.

I will tell you the truth, though you may not understand it at your age. I didn't, nor my peers in our twenties through forties.

You are mistakenly thinking your "job or career" is fulfillment or will enable you to find fulfillment. It can't. Ever. Unless you are a shallow person.

Be glad that you are noticing it now. Keep your job and current location. It's only minor details. Don't look for them to bring you happiness. Doing for others will. Doing for your family or a charity will be the cure for what ails you and put your life cicumstances in perspective.
Good luck.

[Ed Normile]

I am so tired of not being happy with what I am doing or where I am, as well as everyone telling me to get a new job or move somewhere else (and everyone needs to stop reminding me of that).  My life is not what I wanted it to be and it's frustrating.  I work a really hard/demanding job where I allow my bosses to take advantage of me because I don;t know where I want to work next.  I really just want things to work out the way I always imagined them to.....I'm tired of this.

 

Yea, but maybe its what God wanted it to be ...

 

 

ed