Overcoming Fear

[EmmaElizabeth]

Have you ever been told by a vocation director that you seem fearful?  The vocation director with whom I spoke said that I seem timid and fearful.  She said it is common in people who come from a home where the parents are divorced. My parents are divorced but my mother and siblings and I still attend Mass weekly, recite the rosary etc.  What I am wondering is, can I overcome fear and be less timid?  I have a deep desire to become a nun and would like to overcome being fearful if that is at all possible.

 

If anyone has any suggestions or advice for me, I would really appreciate it!

Thank you!

 

[nikita92]

I would be wondering,what is driving youre "FEAR"! The "not knowing" of how the inner workings of a particular community, fear of the unknown....."Loss of control"..etc. Are you a introvert/extrovert person? There is alot of reading material available that addresses these areas. Others on here can answer/advise you on a deeper level! As the saying goes.."There is nothing to fear,but fear itself" Better yet, If God brings you to it, he will bring you through it!!;)

[SilentJoy]

Have you ever been told by a vocation director that you seem fearful?  The vocation director with whom I spoke said that I seem timid and fearful.  She said it is common in people who come from a home where the parents are divorced. My parents are divorced but my mother and siblings and I still attend Mass weekly, recite the rosary etc.  What I am wondering is, can I overcome fear and be less timid?  I have a deep desire to become a nun and would like to overcome being fearful if that is at all possible.

 

If anyone has any suggestions or advice for me, I would really appreciate it!

Thank you!

It can take time to open up and be yourself around new people, especially a religious community (perhaps there's the fear that you might be breaking all kinds of invisible nun-rules that no one has told you about!), and it's hard to get used to nuns because you generally can't just casually get to know them - you either stage an awkward hour's parlor visit, or they actually let you live in their world for a week, which is also awkward - and high-pressure!

 

I'm also rather timid and it is difficult to express myself, especially in new situations with nice, scary nuns.

 

As far as ideas for something to do to help overcome fear, it was very helpful just to get out of the house; I was independent to the extent that I had a job, my own vehicle, and the responsibilities these involved, but as far as housing, I thought that I might as well live with my parents since we got along and I helped out with chores and errands. I didn't see the point in moving out, and whenever I suggested it, my folks wanted me to stay instead. Why spend all that money in rent, heat, insurance, etc. just to live alone? I didn't realize that this might be interfering with my ability to mature and assert myself. Getting out of the house gave me a little more confidence, and now that I'm 500 miles away, I actually communicate better with my family. Almost like a grownup...:smile4:

What has helped the most, though, are things that I couldn't put on my (or your) "to-do" list, because they are things that someone else must do. Other people are often the means by which God helps us to grow; we can't fix ourselves by ourselves. People reached out to me when I wasn't particularly likeable. It's difficult work to become my friend, and over the years, a few brave souls never quit trying. They helped me understand life and love. They helped me grow in confidence and joy. Be open to other people and the help and love that they can give. Be open to the hurt, too. If you start to keep your heart open to love, even though it is wounded and will be wounded again, that is a good way to grow in confidence, but it takes time.

[marigold]

Hi EmmaElizabeth, and welcome!

 

Obviously since all we know about you is what you've written, it's hard to make specific suggestions. I'm not usually shy but I sometimes fall into patterns of avoiding difficult situations just because 'I can't be bothered', and that can affect everything, from trying to get past someone who's taking up the whole pavement, right up to career and family decisions... When I notice that happening, I try to make an effort to do small hard things - for example, saying excuse me to the person in the way, instead of hanging back or going a different route. They all really add up, change your attitude and build confidence in other areas of life.

 

Also, God brings all sorts of people into monastic life, with all kinds of limitations. It's ok to not be perfect!

 

Aaand... I've just seen there is what looks like dandruff all over the library keyboard. Time to log out.

[brandelynmarie]

Hi & welcome :wave: Sometimes timidity is indicative of a sensitive soul...be gentle with yourself & maybe try to do little things that get you out of your comfort zone...could you possibly lead the rosary at church? Just as an example ;) Pray & ask Him for help with it. And think on this verse: "For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but a spirit of power, of love & of a sound mind." It's in one of the books of Timothy somewhere, but I can't remember! :hehe2: