little2add Posted October 14, 2014 Share Posted October 14, 2014 Many also point a finger at the federal government, saying its policies encourage people not to marry. They cite tax penalties for married couples and noting that assistance benefits to single parents generally drop if they get married and increase their household According to the latest available census data, the percentage of U.S. adults who have never been married has hit a new, all-time high. In 1960, about one in ten adults over the age of 25 fell into that category. By 2012, the number had jumped to one in five. WHY? :think2: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maggyie Posted October 15, 2014 Share Posted October 15, 2014 To be honest I can't believe its 1/5. I know 3 people in my generation who got married before 25. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CatherineM Posted October 15, 2014 Share Posted October 15, 2014 Most 20 something's aren't "old" enough to get married. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gabriela Posted October 15, 2014 Share Posted October 15, 2014 To be honest I can't believe its 1/5. I know 3 people in my generation who got married before 25. ^Anecdotal. Who you know is heavily influenced by who you are, how you live, what you value, etc. The statistics are better evidence in this case, although I grant that statistics should always be taken with a grain of salt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gabriela Posted October 15, 2014 Share Posted October 15, 2014 Most 20 something's aren't "old" enough to get married. If by "old enough" you mean "mature enough" (as I think you do), then my feeling is that a lot of people in our country die "too young" to get married. We have a serious Peter Pan Complex going on in my generation, at least. There are so many single Catholic women around and so few good Catholic men that I'm thinking of starting a beguinage. :cry: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Norseman82 Posted October 15, 2014 Share Posted October 15, 2014 Many also point a finger at the federal government, saying its policies encourage people not to marry. They cite tax penalties for married couples and noting that assistance benefits to single parents generally drop if they get married and increase their household According to the latest available census data, the percentage of U.S. adults who have never been married has hit a new, all-time high. In 1960, about one in ten adults over the age of 25 fell into that category. By 2012, the number had jumped to one in five. WHY? :think2: Well, we have been poisoned by such nonsense as "Vocation to the single life", "you don't have to be married to be happy", "you have to accept being alone for the rest of your life before you are qualified to get married" "God will send you a spouse that He picked out for you before you were born when He's ready and not in your time" and other guilt trips to shut people down when we seek marriage. And I've seen this at Catholic events! From my observations in my years of attending various Catholic young adult and singles events (as well as browsing Catholic Answers Forum), some of this is because singles ministry and discussion has been "hijacked" by bitter divorced women who end up "raining on our parade". From another perspective, Catholic writer Mary Beth Bonacci writes that most people have the vocation to marriage but have a hard time finding suitable spouses because the "pool is poisoned": http://catholicexchange.com/is-the-single-life-a-vocation Here's another good perspective from some evangelicals in the UK: http://thegiftofsingleness.blogspot.com/ The solution? Stop demonizing marriage and go back to the basics in Genesis that we were not meant to be alone, that not everyone can handle lifelong celibacy, reinforce the Church's marriage laws (including telling Catholics they have no business pursuing people who are not free to marry in the Church), that we are ultimately responsible for deciding who we marry and stop waiting for God to beam down a spouse onto our driveway, and stop behaving in a way that "poisons the pool". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LouisvilleFan Posted October 15, 2014 Share Posted October 15, 2014 Many also point a finger at the federal government, saying its policies encourage people not to marry. They cite tax penalties for married couples and noting that assistance benefits to single parents generally drop if they get married and increase their household According to the latest available census data, the percentage of U.S. adults who have never been married has hit a new, all-time high. In 1960, about one in ten adults over the age of 25 fell into that category. By 2012, the number had jumped to one in five. WHY? :think2: It's not the government's fault. There are plenty of countries where government policies hope to encourage marriage and higher fertility rates, with little success. The reasons for lower marriage rates run a lot deeper than taxes. It's a wider cultural issue with many contributing factors. We should also question whether the numbers from 1960 should be targeted as ideal. Vocation rates in general were abnormally high during that time, which had more to do with the effect of winning World War II than the state of Catholicism. The Church looked very healthy by the numbers, but her spiritual health was far worse. If you want an easy barometer on the state of Catholicism, look at who was Pope of the United States. I mean President... look at who was President of the United States. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Credo in Deum Posted October 15, 2014 Share Posted October 15, 2014 :think2: I just wanted to say I think your avatar is awesome. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tab'le De'Bah-Rye Posted October 15, 2014 Share Posted October 15, 2014 Most 20 something's aren't "old" enough to get married. piffle :oP Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tab'le De'Bah-Rye Posted October 15, 2014 Share Posted October 15, 2014 (edited) perhaps alot are taking a personal vow of celibacy for Christians or much abstinance for athiests/pagans etc until marriage and dating for a long time before they tie the knot, ire says " to be sure to be sure". I hear that is getting popular. I don't know just another side of the coin of possibilities. And i think most women in the west are sick of the increase of women having been abused over the last 100 odd years so there choosing far more wisely perhaps and the fact that it isn't one gauge any more there are many train tracks so finding the right train is more difficult now days. Edited October 15, 2014 by Tab'le De'Bah-Rye Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
truthfinder Posted October 15, 2014 Share Posted October 15, 2014 And i think most women in the west are sick of the increase of women having been abused over the last 100 odd years so there choosing far more wisely perhaps and the fact that it isn't one gauge any more there are many train tracks so finding the right train is more difficult now days. You're kidding, right? Otherwise, I'm going to want to see statistical evidence for such an assertion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Basilisa Marie Posted October 15, 2014 Share Posted October 15, 2014 Most people I know that are in their twenties aren't setting much stock by the traditional markers of adulthood, for a huge number of reasons. Loads of people go to college but don't meet someone who is spousal material. Most people can't count on a long, regular career. Most people who went to college have student loans to pay, and can't afford to save up for a down payment on a house. A lot of people in my generation are living at home after college (myself included) because they can't afford rent on their own. There are so many things set up against people "settling down." Plus you've got this idea that you have to wait until you're "ready" to have kids, but "ready" tends to translate to a very stable job/living situation with money in savings. And why get married if you don't plan on having kids right away, because society looks at you weird if you don't try living together before you get married, because heaven forbid you make a lifelong commitment to someone when nothing else in your life seems that stable. Plus, at least half of us grew up in families with divorce, so why would we make a commitment if we weren't 100% sure this was going to work out forever? There aren't as many examples of people sticking it out as there used to be, again for a number of reasons. Basically, I see people saying that marriage is a huge commitment that takes a lot of time and money and effort and signals a life of stability (thus the end of adventure and freedom), so why would you want to do that to yourself? It's sad, because it's so, so different from the Catholic idea of what marriage is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
little2add Posted October 15, 2014 Author Share Posted October 15, 2014 Three dog night "One" One is the loneliest number that you'll ever do Two can be as bad as one It's the loneliest number since the number one No is the saddest experience you'll ever know Yes, it's the saddest experience you'll ever know 'Cause one is the loneliest number that you'll ever do One is the loneliest number, whoa-oh, worse than two It's just no good anymore since you went away Now I spend my time just making rhymes of yesterday One is the loneliest number One is the loneliest number One is the loneliest number that you'll ever do One is the loneliest One is the loneliest One is the loneliest number that you'll ever do It's just no good anymore since you went away (number) One is the loneliest (number) One is the loneliest (number) One is the loneliest number that you'll ever do (number) One is the loneliest (number) One is the loneliest (number) One is the loneliest number that you'll ever do (number) One (one is the loneliest number that you'll ever do)(number) One is the loneliest number that you'll ever do (number) One is the loneliest number that you'll ever do Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
little2add Posted October 15, 2014 Author Share Posted October 15, 2014 The reason is birth control, greed and selfishness The notion that a woman stays home and raise a family instead of making a lot of money and having a career is somehow undesirable Having children is the second best thing that happened in my life , the first is grandchildren Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benedictus Posted October 16, 2014 Share Posted October 16, 2014 (edited) Many also point a finger at the federal government, saying its policies encourage people not to marry. They cite tax penalties for married couples and noting that assistance benefits to single parents generally drop if they get married and increase their household According to the latest available census data, the percentage of U.S. adults who have never been married has hit a new, all-time high. In 1960, about one in ten adults over the age of 25 fell into that category. By 2012, the number had jumped to one in five. WHY? :think2: My view is that there have been cultural and social changes that impact on the marriage rates. More people are attending higher education than before. There are also more people studying for advanced degrees and this all takes someone into their mid twenties or more. Many people have to relocate away for courses, periods of internship or work and this makes it harder to set roots and form long term relationships. The pressure to then work and make a career, plus the debt they are stuck with, doesn't give them the resources or time to settle with a partner. Many people, even once finding a long term partner, put off marriage as they set a high expectation for the day and can't afford the expense. They prefer to focus on daily costs such as gaining a home, travel or going out. Many people are having to move back in with parents because they can't afford to rent or buy a house. I think people see marriage as an added complication and an unlikely event given the social and economic situation they find themselves within. I know a fair few friends whos parents are elderly and they didn't have many children, so it means they need to live with them as carers and so on. This doesn't, at least practically, free them up to easily find a marriage partner. The same situation also delays some entering religious orders as there isn't anyone to care for elderly relatives if they enter etc. So smaller families doesn't help now as there's less resources to share around and less of a support network. I also believe, if we look at other influences, that people feel marriage places unfair pressure on them which can sour a relationship. I think women can feel the husband, and maybe even family, has outdated ideas about what their role in a marriage should be or that they'll have to sacrifice a career or have children before they planned. They may not be ready. They may also want to try and make a career before other factors come into the equation, or they feel torn to choose between competing demands of time. Some men feel they'd be under more pressure to pay bills and debts, and have expectations from family and their wife to 'provide', more so if children come along, and then be in a trap of debt and heartache if the marriage breaks down. I think many men don't want to have to think about all of that before they've tried to live a bit and make a success of things for themselves. Some people, which maybe has always been the case, want to remain single or have a few relationships before settling down. All this pushes the age rate for those marrying up. I believe in my country the peak of marriages is in the late twenties, but the age average overall is about thirty three. We know for sure the change isn't due to loads of people joining convents or similar Edited October 16, 2014 by Benedictus Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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