Struggling

[Pax_et bonum]

Hey all, I haven't been around in a while. It's good to see some familiar faces :wave: and some new ones too

 

Here's the sitch: I have majorly debilitating depression, but it's been getting better with treatment, not to the point where I can stop treatment though. I still feel drawn to religious life; I feel so hopeful that if I can get through depression, I can get through anything. How hard can any rigors of the life be compared to being depressed and having been suicidal on top of the pain of not being able to be in religious life? So I'm hoping to come out of this stronger than ever, but I don't know when that will be. Additionally, I have the responsibility of a puppy--he's my emotional support animal/possible future service dog if I need it.

 

I'm just not sure if it's fair, to me or the community, to contact the sisters I'm interested in right now or not. They're only a couple hours from me, and I was hoping I'd be able to drive there to volunteer with them occasionally--but I have my puppy. I guess I was just wondering if anyone had thoughts on my situation and if contacting the community soon sounds like a bad idea or not.

[PhuturePriest]

I don't have a whole lot of general advice, but do know I'll be praying for you.

 

I think you would agree that right now you're not emotionally ready to enter religious life. I think right now perhaps you should focus on getting through your depression, and then contacting the Sisters? You could maybe even call them and tell them what's going on, and tell them your plan of overcoming depression first and looking into religious life afterwards. I'm sure they would pray for you in such a situation, which would be both emotionally and spiritually beneficial for you.

[vee]

I think its best to just be patient and give yourself more time to heal. Prayers.

[SilentJoy]

Prayers for you!!

I know that it is very painful to not be in religious life, when that is all that is in your heart to do. Everyone is broken in some way. I hope that your psychological wounds make you much stronger than you were, more compassionate to the pain that is all around you.

 

I like the idea of giving yourself this time to heal. The pain of not being in religious life might be nothing in comparison to the pain of being in religious life with depression, especially if you are asked to leave because of it; then you would be trying to pick up the pieces of a divorce when you still hadn't gotten over your last great grief. Life happens, though, and maybe Life will include the support and prayers of a religious community in helping you to discern your way?

 

I was recently diagnosed with Asperger's. When I inquired about whether it was possible for someone like me to discern religious life, many communities said "No" as quickly and politely (some more politely, and some more quickly) as they could and never spoke to me again, but a few became my friends; even though it was impossible for me to discern with them, they maintain contact and assure me of their thoughts and prayers. It is reassuring to know that you have many mothers, whom you will probably never see, who love and pray for you. Kind of like a supernatural air-hug.

 

 

[marigold]

Prayers for you!!

I know that it is very painful to not be in religious life, when that is all that is in your heart to do. Everyone is broken in some way. I hope that your psychological wounds make you much stronger than you were, more compassionate to the pain that is all around you.

 

I like the idea of giving yourself this time to heal. The pain of not being in religious life might be nothing in comparison to the pain of being in religious life with depression, especially if you are asked to leave because of it; then you would be trying to pick up the pieces of a divorce when you still hadn't gotten over your last great grief. Life happens, though, and maybe Life will include the support and prayers of a religious community in helping you to discern your way?

 

I was recently diagnosed with Asperger's. When I inquired about whether it was possible for someone like me to discern religious life, many communities said "No" as quickly and politely (some more politely, and some more quickly) as they could and never spoke to me again, but a few became my friends; even though it was impossible for me to discern with them, they maintain contact and assure me of their thoughts and prayers. It is reassuring to know that you have many mothers, whom you will probably never see, who love and pray for you. Kind of like a supernatural air-hug.

 

This is an important insight. P&b, you have possibly more support here, in waiting for religious life, than you could imagine. Lean on us, and why not get to know sisters as friends while you are 'out'? 

[be_thou_my_vision]

Hi Pax, I've been thinking about you a lot!

 

I had depression some years ago (very, very badly actually) and it took me a couple of years to get back to normal. I entered religious life some years after I got back to my normal then. In my experience, God wanted me to have time to heal before entering religious life. It was a kind of holy solitude... healing from depression and consecrating it to God, that is. No matter what happens, He's got you.

 

I suggest listening to "by your side" by 10th avenue north for some encouragement. I'm really into that one right now and I think it fits perfectly!

[Pax_et bonum]

Thanks for the thoughtful replies  :heart:

 

I definitely have no intention of entering religious life while depressed. I'm afraid it's going to be a while, but I'm doing everything I can to get better. I do want to get to know the sisters as friends while I'm 'out' that's why I want to contact them, but I'm hesitant because of my situation. I like the idea of seeing if I can volunteer with them though.

[be_thou_my_vision]

I don't think there's any harm contacting them and asking for prayers or volunteering with them, but maybe others have some more insight about that.