More Random Bs

[superblue]

Well i got a few health issues to address, i am crackn down on my health and getting a diabetes test done tomorrow, will have to wait a week for the results. Mine as well be proactive than reactive.  Weight is becoming a real issue, and i actually need a hernia repair/ Though over all in this regard age for once is on my side. Then i have to figure out wth ima do. I am so done with dieting and exercising, i just go on a yo yo thing, where i lose the weight i need too, feel like i am done, and one problem later it comes screaming back on bigger and badder than before.

 

So for short term i have the blood work to do, and a hernia repair, long term goal is to decide if i really need weight loss surgery which has multiple risks, lots of options on which one to do, which i am considering two at the moment, and the benefits are long term with diet an exercise of course.  Which i am not against dieting and exercising it is just i need more help than i realized.

 

I'll probably be cashing in the last bit of financial help my parents can assist with, and i am debating on pushing that button just yet, my health is a concern, but i dont know till i get the short term goals done first on the immediacy needed....   And it will become physically easier to exercise with the excess weight gone and probably more enjoyable to exercise.

 

I looked into private security too, one company offers $150 a day for security over seas plus like a 7% bonus upon completion, doesn't sound like a bad deal, till i factor in my health lol and a crap pot of other issues i had, makes me wish i wasn't so bad off, but i got the feeling God steered me in this direction health wise cause He knows i am batty enough to go back into the Army and or a private security thing like this that i found if i were in a lot better health. But by the time i get to where i need to be, pft ill change my mind and be glad i didnt and greatful that i wasnt in good shape to do it.

 

having anxiety and depression might be a blessing in disguise too, cause when i was younger, i was flipping off at the mouth more often at than not, and i was blind to the world around me , i was " happy " to a degree partying when i could, going to college and being a clown, and it got me no where fast.

 

now that is gone and perhaps the anxiety and depression is a way of keeping me safe, out of danger, and slowing me down enough to realize there are others in my life now that i need to look out for.

 

If that is the case, i think God could have found a simpler way of getting a message across instead of going this route , an obvious simpler way, not a parable, whisper in the wind message.

 

 

Smelly Hats