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Family Acceptance


totustuus20

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TheresaThoma

I think it would be VERY odd to be discerning with them and NOT have a strong interest in further education!

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  • 2 weeks later...

I just wanted to give an update! Today I had a lovely conversation with an RSM sister. She seems lovely and I am feeling very drawn to the order! She wants me to come and visit, and talk with some of the sisters in Medical School! Thank you all for your continued prayers!

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I've been in the same boat TotusTuus20.  My parents found out I was discerning a few years ago and my mom particularly tried to dissuade me.  She said I was so young and needed more life experience, asked me if I knew about the vows that nuns take and even went so far as to try to get me to talk to a woman who had left the convent because it was so horrible.  Our conversations about it were so counterproductive and discouraging to me that we stopped talking about it altogether.  I'm not even sure if she realizes I'm still set on entering but I've finally gotten to the point in my discernment where I am certain of my religious vocation and pretty sure about the community so pretty soon I'm going to have to talk to her about it again.  You know your parents well enough to know how much to tell them and how much to withhold.  In my case I want to wait to be as sure as possible of entering with this community so that when I tell my parents, their disappointments and arguments won't confuse me or make me change my mind.  I'll pray for you though because this is maybe one of the lesser considered crosses we bear when we follow the Lord's call.  Everyone talks about the struggles of religious life but the struggle just to get there can be just as real.

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I just wanted to give an update! Today I had a lovely conversation with an RSM sister. She seems lovely and I am feeling very drawn to the order! She wants me to come and visit, and talk with some of the sisters in Medical School! Thank you all for your continued prayers!

 

Another incentive to visit...Panera donates day-old cookies. There are LOTS of cookies in the guesthouse. :hehe2:
 

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Silent Joy: As if I needed another reason to visit! Thank you for the smile :D

 

Kateri89: I am so sorry to hear about the situation you are in. You are in my prayers. I feel like for parents, they sometimes don't realize what they are saying and how it influences you. It is good to remember that they only want what is best for you, but also follow God's will for your life because that is the only way through which we can arrive at true peace.

 

In other news, Sister and I had such a wonderful talk today, I felt so much peace when I was talking to her, and I have decided that I seriously need to visit this order, no matter what it takes. I feel like I can conquer any remaining obstacles. She made a point which was so clear, and I will share the wisdom with all in hopes that someone will benefit besides just me. She said that when you're discerning, there are only 2 big questions that you need to ask yourself. (1) Do you have a vocation to the religious life? and (2) Do you know where you are called to the religious life? If you can answer these two questions as yes, then everything else is very small and can be worked out. The "practicals" have a way of falling into place.

 

God bless all of you!

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  • 3 weeks later...

My parents are wonderful people and they desire anything for my happiness, but me entering religious life isn't what they had in mind. When I told my parents I was discerning (and I really played it down), it was quite uncomfortable and did not go well at all, to say the least. It's been about 6 months since then and the only progress there's been is that they've managed to stop thinking about it.

 

The problem, however, is that I've been planning on asking for "the papers" this coming January, but when I realized that I'd have to tell them and thought of how much it will hurt them, I got scared and have basically given up. 

 

What should I do? Is this God telling me not to enter? Is there a way to make it easier for my parents?

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puellapaschalis

My parents are wonderful people and they desire anything for my happiness, but me entering religious life isn't what they had in mind. When I told my parents I was discerning (and I really played it down), it was quite uncomfortable and did not go well at all, to say the least. It's been about 6 months since then and the only progress there's been is that they've managed to stop thinking about it.

 

The problem, however, is that I've been planning on asking for "the papers" this coming January, but when I realized that I'd have to tell them and thought of how much it will hurt them, I got scared and have basically given up. 

 

What should I do? Is this God telling me not to enter? Is there a way to make it easier for my parents?

 

Just keep praying.

 

By which I don't mean that your every waking minute should be a psalm muttered under your breath. Instead, be faithful to your daily rhythm of prayer, stick to it like a sweaty t-shirt soaked in glue, and note where your peace comes. If it's from your meditations on devoting yourself entirely to Christ, then (even though you might not 'feel' certain) if your community is in agreement, take a deep breath and go ahead and ask. Don't let fear, even in its most reasonable forms, be the primary driving force.
 

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My parents are wonderful people and they desire anything for my happiness, but me entering religious life isn't what they had in mind. When I told my parents I was discerning (and I really played it down), it was quite uncomfortable and did not go well at all, to say the least. It's been about 6 months since then and the only progress there's been is that they've managed to stop thinking about it.

 

The problem, however, is that I've been planning on asking for "the papers" this coming January, but when I realized that I'd have to tell them and thought of how much it will hurt them, I got scared and have basically given up. 

 

What should I do? Is this God telling me not to enter? Is there a way to make it easier for my parents?

 

Cantantibus. I know exactly how you feel. One of the two scariest things about religious life for me is telling my mom. We've gotten into many nasty fights about this. However you have to put that fear aside as hard as it may be. If you really feel that you are called to religious life then go. 

I haven't dealt with this yet but I have spent a good amount of time thinking about it. Some points that I have come up with.

1. Be certain you are sure about what you are doing (or as certain as you can get). If you don't know why and can't explain it then it will be really hard to explain it to your parents. I made this mistake, I told them too early on and I didn't have the answers to their questions. 

2. Give them time. They will need time to process your decision. It would make it really hard if you tell them a week before you enter. They will need and want to talk to you. Be there for them. BUT make sure that you are solid in your decision (see point number 1). So it may be better to them you are planning on applying and have the application. Or it may be best to tell them after you are accepted.

3. Plan out how you are going to tell them. In person, over the phone, in a letter etc. For me I plan on doing it either in a letter or by phone. I feel a little physical distance will help.

4. Talk with the community about it. There is probably someone there who went through a similar situation and can provide some guidance.

5. PRAY!

 

Also I'm not sure if you are still at home but I have found that being on my own and getting my mom used to me not being around has helped ease tensions.

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Update: Praise be to God, my parents have come around! With their support and their blessing, I will be transferring out of my program and into a bachelors degree program so that I can prepare to enter in 2017!

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