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Family Acceptance


totustuus20

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I loved them, and I loved the visit! The Sisters are very bright but also very kind and down-to-earth, and they have a strong love for the Church, Reason and the Eucharist. I got the sense that their active apostolate had its source in the contemplative aspect of their lives, and flowed out from that hidden love.

 

Wow that is really beautiful! I cannot wait to talk to their Vocations Director!

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Spem in alium

TotusTuus, 

I went through the same thing with my parents. At first they were supportive but when things started getting more serious they were very upset.

As far as staying at the college where you are at or transferring my suggestion is to stay where you are at. Transferring can be a royal pain and might put you behind by a semester or two. Getting your bachelor's before entering is very smart it gives you freedom to discern (ie you have a fall back plan).

 

Agree 100% with this. Now that things are getting more serious with my discernment, I do sense they're having issues. I've found it's best to be as honest, open and patient as you can. And it's definitely wise to get some study under your belt before entering.

 

As for the Skype call, I'm sure you'll do great! If you sense you'll be discussing things you consider private, I'd suggest you set up somewhere you won't be interrupted - or at least, tell your roommate you're on a call. And be yourself. :) At my university there's an RSM - I don't know her too well, but she seems really awesome. 

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PhuturePriest

Tell them the worst that could possibly happen when entering a community is spontaneous combustion, and then wait for their response.

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Agree 100% with this. Now that things are getting more serious with my discernment, I do sense they're having issues. I've found it's best to be as honest, open and patient as you can. And it's definitely wise to get some study under your belt before entering.

 

 

At this point, I am trying to balance between appeasing them and following the call. They are adamant that I not transfer unless absolutely necessary, so I am trying to find catholic groups near me to make this bearable for the next couple of years. Hopefully, since I am willing to try and compromise, they will do the same. It is a normal response for parents to be somewhat against their eldest daughter moving halfway across the country to live a life of poverty, chastity, and obedience after all. 

 

As for the skype call, I am very excited. My roommate is going home for the weekend, so I will have the room to myself which will free me from any distractions (hopefully). At this point, it is just more about what is going to be said! I am just taking it back to prayer.

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Whelp...the skype call got cancelled by the sister cuz she has practicum hours, but I will have a phone call soon. My mother told me yesterday though, that to enter would be a "waste of my talents and a waste of an opportunity." How do I make her see that this isn't a waste but an amazing opportunity?

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littlesister

Sometimes parents are dubious at best, or dead-set-against at worst, until they get to know the community and see that their son or daughter is really happy there.  Eventually the fear of wasting this or wasting that goes away, when they see that we are using every last thing that they worried we would lose - and quite a bit that they or we never knew we had.  (For almost ten years, the best my father could do with it was to suppose that being a happy religious was "better than being in a bum marriage."  When he came around, he came around all the way.)

 

You have quite a road ahead of you, regardless of the decision you make, but the RSM's are great and you won't be alone.  God bless.

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 My mother told me yesterday though, that to enter would be a "waste of my talents and a waste of an opportunity."

 

The RSMs continue to pursue education to the highest degree possible, depending on the individual Sisters' capacities. They see the intellect as one area of health and wholeness that must be nurtured. They certainly don't waste talents and opportunities.

 

Even in cloistered contemplative life, there are still engineers, doctors, lawyers, etc. ...somebody has to keep the community operating wisely. There's no waste of talent there. There is a great deal of responsibility, and whatever skills you have can be put to good use, and you may find some you weren't aware of.

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veritasluxmea

How do I make her see that this isn't a waste but an amazing opportunity?

You can't. Only the Holy Spirit can. 

 

If/when God calls you to enter a community, He will give you the grace you need to enter. Frankly, you may have to simply accept your parent's objections with charity and then follow the Lord anyways. Pray for them, especially that the Holy Spirit enlightens and helps them, and do what you need to do. There are other things you can talk about and do with them. 

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Even in cloistered contemplative life, there are still engineers, doctors, lawyers, etc.

That might not have sounded the way I meant it to...I was trying to suggest that entering religious life wouldn't be a waste of education; I didn't mean that an educated Sister was somehow more important or useful than one who wasn't.

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Of course it is not waste of education:)When you are educated you can help in many ways no mater is this community cloister or active.

I wanted to enter one Benedict order right after my high school but my parents strongly opposed it.They wanted that i finish collage and then to discern my vocation.

This situation kind disappoint me and i have move my self from church during the collage ( i went to more secular collage). But in recent years i have feel again strong desire for religious life (i think biggest turn has been entering one of my closest friends). My sister did not enter collage but finally this year she do it.So your education can only help you in your vocation it is not in any way problem.About your parents trust me (from my experience ) and most important trust Our Lord.She will guide you just open your heart.My parents also have many doubts about mine and my sisters vocation.But now they are fully realize and support us in our possible vocations.

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The RSMs continue to pursue education to the highest degree possible, depending on the individual Sisters' capacities. They see the intellect as one area of health and wholeness that must be nurtured. They certainly don't waste talents and opportunities.

 

See its funny, that is where I thought that my parents would have the easiest time dealing with it. I told them about the higher education and she said "Well if that is true, why isn't there a line out the door for people to get their degrees from within the order?" Then she told me that I must not know what I am talking  about. i tried to explain that individuals must genuinely discern a vocation before entering, and that the order doesn't really start educating the sisters until they are professed or fully professed, but she is certain that I dont know what I am talking about. I would have asked the sister how that works, but the skype call was cancelled. I'm also not really sure how to ask that question without sounding like a free loader. 

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TheresaThoma

TotusTuus,don't feel bad or worry that you sound like a freeloader when asking about how the community educates the Sisters. Since that is such a big part of what the Sisters do it would be silly to not ask about that. I hope that you are able to talk with Sister soon!

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Theresathoma, thank you! I was just worried that they would think that I am just discerning in hopes to get a degree, which is not at all the case. 

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