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Deal Breakers


franciscanheart

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brandelynmarie

Self-destructive and outlandish behavior. It's the only time I've ever really had to sever a friendship.

(Oh, and I mean the crazy behavior was theirs, not mine)...



It depends. I severed contact with two friends. One lied to me multiple times and seriously abused my hospitality.

The other friend also told serious lies, both to me and about me, while simultaneously using me as a 24/7 crisis line for her severe mental health problems (which she belittled and denied to her family and her doctors). I decided that I wasn't going to be used as a crutch indefinitely if she won't going to get herself some proper help, so I cut contact there too.



Victims who act it. Presses my buttons every time. I have endless support and time for people who TRY, but my patience is really tested by those who prefer to stay stuck.

My oft quote is 'if you always do what you always did, you will always get what you always got'.

Do something - anything, different, and things will change - usually for the better.

I've had similar experiences with several people, but here are two examples. One friend moved in with me with the agreement to help cover living expenses. Within the first month, she got fired from her job because of too many tardies & didn't bother to tell me. :( Over several months, I discovered she was OCD & bipolar & refused to take her meds. Sooo...One night I find myself watching a chick flick with a wheel of brie, a baguette & a bottle of wine & I knew wasn't able to help her & her behavior was driving me to drink more than normal. I made a round of phone calls & got her into therapy & a housing system that could help her. And I was done. Deal breaker.

Another one is a co-worker & it makes it difficult because she treats me like a crisis-line & she creates much of her own drama with guys. I used to listen & offer advice & console...then it was me telling her "you have five minutes to discuss this & then we are going to talk about something else". The final stage was that I told her we could no longer discuss the men in her life. Period. And I no longer socialize with her outside of work. I really struggle with this, because I want to be Christian & be kind, but I have to continually set limits with her...sigh. Done. Deal breaker.


And if someone doesn't love animals, it can be hard to be close to them. Or if someone doesn't love wine for that matter... Edited by brandelynmarie
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I once found a friendship distancing when they left the Faith and ended up in a bad situation. We still talk every now and then, but it's not the same. I find that the friendships I have with people who share my faith are different than the ones I have with non-Catholics. Not in a bad way, just not on the same level. It's hard to explain. 

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When somone, several times a fortnight, leaves their macaroni & cheese leftovers to harden overnight in the only decent pot in the flat to cook my food in.

And goes through a dozen dishes, a few glasses, and lots of cutlery before deciding that the pile is inconveniently large enough to think about washing in a day or two.  At which point it's overflowing enough to make washing my own single plate nigh impossible.

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brandelynmarie

How about Missoura? I know it was said in the 50s, but is it still said?


Yup. I do hear the occasional Missoura from older pholk. :) Also, sherbet is always pronounced sherbert & anniversary is usually annivershary :hehe:
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Yup. I do hear the occasional Missoura from older pholk. :) Also, sherbet is always pronounced sherbert & anniversary is usually annivershary :hehe:

I was watching old "what's your line" and they kept saying "missoura" and finally figured out what they meant.  And ummm, I say sherbert (how do you say it?)

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It comes from the Midwest...at least that's my theory. I grew up hearing Warshingtonville & warshclawves (washcloths!)

Not a deal breaker for me, but painful nonetheless.... :twitch:

 

It certainly does not. I had never heard it until I moved here to PA. The further East I've lived, the more common it is. 

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I know certain North Americans who pronounce sorbet (the frozen dessert) as 'sherbert'. I laughed out loud the first time I heard it because I thought it was a mistake. It's a French word that is supposed to be pronounced 'sor-bay'... Has anyone else heard variants on this?

 

'Sherbert' pronounced 'sherbert' here in the UK is sharp-flavoured coloured sugar. We used to buy it in plastic tubes on Saturdays. They also sometimes coat jelly sweets with it, e.g. the sherbert lemons that Dumbledore eats at the beginning of the Harry Potter series.

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