beatitude Posted September 9, 2014 Share Posted September 9, 2014 It depends. I severed contact with two friends. One lied to me multiple times and seriously abused my hospitality. I had offered her a place to stay for a few months while she got her own apartment sorted, but she moved in with the intention of staying with me for always, as she later admitted. She thought that as I was her friend I was obliged to help her in whatever way she wanted, and she resented any time I spent away from her. She even followed me to work one day and was found by other staff sitting in the grounds waiting for me to come out. She refused to answer all questions, remaining silent, and thinking she must have some kind of intellectual disability and be lost, they phoned the police. It was hugely embarrassing having to explain this to my manager. ("I have a new flatmate and as you can see she's a little possessive...") It got worse and worse (she wouldn't let me have any time with other friends, even) and in the end I stopped speaking to her entirely. The other friend also told serious lies, both to me and about me, while simultaneously using me as a 24/7 crisis line for her severe mental health problems (which she belittled and denied to her family and her doctors). I decided that I wasn't going to be used as a crutch indefinitely if she wasn't going to get herself some proper help, so I cut contact there too. There were other problems - she was absolutely obsessed with me and sometimes I felt like she was trying to be me. Looking back on it, there are quite a few similarities between these two girls. They were both mentally ill, obviously, but that wasn't the reason I walked away - it was the lies, and their inability to take any responsibility for themselves and to recognise that I was human with needs of my own. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CatherineM Posted September 9, 2014 Share Posted September 9, 2014 I've had to drop friends who fell into drug culture. I don't really make that many friends. People say I'm intimidating. The ones that bother to get to know me, are usually healthy enough to keep. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IcePrincessKRS Posted September 9, 2014 Share Posted September 9, 2014 I'm struggling with a friend who can only eat Hellmann's mayo. Sorry. :sad2: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Winchester Posted September 9, 2014 Share Posted September 9, 2014 Some deal breakers are drug smuggling, extortion, support for jihad and illegal WMD possession. It's really difficult to stay on good terms with someone who's bragging about the fission bomb in his backyard and planning to buy a ticket to Syria to join up with ISIS. So nobody in the CIA. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marigold Posted September 9, 2014 Share Posted September 9, 2014 It depends. I severed contact with two friends. One lied to me multiple times and seriously abused my hospitality. I had offered her a place to stay for a few months while she got her own apartment sorted, but she moved in with the intention of staying with me for always, as she later admitted. She thought that as I was her friend I was obliged to help her in whatever way she wanted, and she resented any time I spent away from her. She even followed me to work one day and was found by other staff sitting in the grounds waiting for me to come out. She refused to answer all questions, remaining silent, and thinking she must have some kind of intellectual disability and be lost, they phoned the police. It was hugely embarrassing having to explain this to my manager. ("I have a new flatmate and as you can see she's a little possessive...") It got worse and worse (she wouldn't let me have any time with other friends, even) and in the end I stopped speaking to her entirely. The other friend also told serious lies, both to me and about me, while simultaneously using me as a 24/7 crisis line for her severe mental health problems (which she belittled and denied to her family and her doctors). I decided that I wasn't going to be used as a crutch indefinitely if she wasn't going to get herself some proper help, so I cut contact there too. There were other problems - she was absolutely obsessed with me and sometimes I felt like she was trying to be me. Looking back on it, there are quite a few similarities between these two girls. They were both mentally ill, obviously, but that wasn't the reason I walked away - it was the lies, and their inability to take any responsibility for themselves and to recognise that I was human with needs of my own. Good for you! On both counts. Makes me want to claw my own skin off just reading about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
franciscanheart Posted September 9, 2014 Author Share Posted September 9, 2014 Sorry. :sad2:I forgive you. :ohno: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dUSt Posted September 9, 2014 Share Posted September 9, 2014 Bad driving is my deal breaker. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Credo in Deum Posted September 9, 2014 Share Posted September 9, 2014 People who say Warshington instead of Washington. Where did the R come from?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
franciscanheart Posted September 9, 2014 Author Share Posted September 9, 2014 Bad driving is my deal breaker.THAT WAS ONE TIME. :| Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
franciscanheart Posted September 9, 2014 Author Share Posted September 9, 2014 People who say Warshington instead of Washington. Where did the R come from?! :twitch: What kind of a person does this? No decent human being would do that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Credo in Deum Posted September 9, 2014 Share Posted September 9, 2014 My thoughts exactly. The audacity of some people. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maximillion Posted September 9, 2014 Share Posted September 9, 2014 Victims who act it. Presses my buttons every time. I have endless support and time for people who TRY, but my patience is really tested by those who prefer to stay stuck. My oft quote is 'if you always do what you always did, you will always get what you always got'. Do something - anything, different, and things will change - usually for the better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IcePrincessKRS Posted September 9, 2014 Share Posted September 9, 2014 I forgive you. :ohno: Thanks. You're a true friend. People who say Warshington instead of Washington. Where did the R come from?! My great-grandmother (God rest her batty old soul) used to say "warshing machine" when referring to the washing machine. It made my eye twitch. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IcePrincessKRS Posted September 9, 2014 Share Posted September 9, 2014 I can't be friends with bad spellers. Or, at the very least, I can't be friends with people who don't care to be better spellers if they are bad spellers. :| I'm struggling with a friend who can only eat Hellmann's mayo. You know what I just realized? When I was telling you about my mayo fixation I misspelled Hellmann's twice. You must really struggle with our friendship. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Bus Station Posted September 9, 2014 Share Posted September 9, 2014 If they put arsenic in my cereal and then they told me "Hey, I put arsenic in your cereal" I would probably say "We can't be friends anymore" and then I guess I would make them leave and call the police Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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