blazeingstar Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 I'm sick of the stupid memes, blog posts and articles saying that suicide isn't selfish. Saying that it's somehow "brave" and "the right decision for a desprite person" No, no it isn't. There is enough help these days for someone who wants it in most developed countries, especially someone with money. The thing about suicide is it does deeply affect others and IS very contagious. Children and young adults, who loose a parent to suicide are 3 times more likely to die by suicide themselves. When suicide hits a community of young people they are more to choose this path. I don't care if I'm coming across as heartless. I've seen it. One man's decision in the 1990's caused another man to succumb in the 2000's. That second man had a daughter who took her own life in the 10's. 3 of her acquaintances, including her long-term "not really" boyfriend died of self-inflicted causes within the next 3 years. And I know another man, who's survived 3 friend's suicide and was suicidal for 12 years. I'm still not clear on where he found help or hope. 20 years after this horrible time, he went on to become someone who's like a 2nd dad to me. He has no kids, only a few friends, his mom is aged and his brother is disconnected from the family. His job is wrote, tho he is skilled. His struggle was hard. And he still struggles with depression. But he goes on. THAT is brave. THAT is real. Because now those friends of his who DID have kids have children who take their own lives. Will this madness never end? In one such case it was found that the young woman had a very operable, treatable brain tumor. (her mother demanded an autopsy) She thought that her depression was like her father's...and chose her father's solution. Her last words were about him being right and needing to do what was right for her. It could of been different if she didn't have that example. But she "knew" she was like her father. No one could tell her differently. I agree that at the end of the article most of the things are suicide prevention. We can make a difference. Although to be bold face told "What, do you want me to live for you, you're just one friend" is tough. I later decided, yes. I will be selfish. I will tell you that if you living for me is going to prevent you from killing yourself then yes. Live for me, if it's all that you have. I want you around. I do care about your pain, there are ways to find out what is causing it. It just is. I'm sorry if this offends anyone. I'm just tired of all of this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lilllabettt Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 When someone kills themselves I'm generally opposed to calling them "selfish." I have my personal opinions but I keep them to myself. It is poor form to speak ill of the dead, and in fact many people who commit suicide do so because they truly feel their loved ones will be better off without them. Their diseased mentation makes them believe it would be selfish to go on living. We don't know what went on in the mind of anyone who commits suicide. So calling them selfish would qualify as rash judgment, I think. That said, calling suicide "brave" or "the right thing to do" in a given circumstance is clearly wrong. The brain interprets human suicide as an existential threat, because seeing/hearing about it automatically presents it as an option to be rejected or accepted. Death rate goes up relative to the situation where the option is never presented at all. So people's brains are pretty much trying to organize the information in a way that will protect them. Which can produce reactions that run the gamut. You can see the different strategies all over social media. It's interesting. There is contagion and I wish they hadn't published the details. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrossCuT Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 Who ever is saying that his suicide was brave or the right thing to do is as stupid as you coming him selfish. Im sorry that you dont feel sorry...I really am. You really have some gall to post this because everyone knows somebody who suffers from a mental disorder. I went to a funeral for a girl who committed suicide...and so many of the people there just didnt get it. No one could understand why it happened. Its not selfish, its not something to sneer at. These people suffered and if that an inconvenient reality to you then I would prefer you keep your mouth shut than throw salt on the wounds of so many who have suffered and lost loved ones. I am extremely ashamed of you and I pray that your heart may soften one day before the bitterness and disdain turns you into someone you dont recognize. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrossCuT Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 (edited) Id also like to add that its really easy to pass judgment on someone who is so far detached from our normal encounters; but if this person happened to be a personal friend of someone close, you bet you would never utter a single thing like what you have said above. Obviously this post really grinds my gears so as to not be too overly emotional Im going to try and distance myself from this thread. I am extremely appalled. Edited August 13, 2014 by CrossCuT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blazeingstar Posted August 13, 2014 Author Share Posted August 13, 2014 I have every right to my feelings, CrossCut, and being nasty and saying I have some gall to post this isn't nice. I have good reason to feel suicide is selfish. The contagious factor is #1. I also mentioned I lost loved ones. So am I all of the sudden less entitiled to my own opinions? I am acutely aware that her risk was SO GREAT because of her father's suicide. I am aware of her 3 other friends that killed themselves. It was all unnecessary and based upon selfishness. I am NOT detached from this matter. So go kick rocks without socks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CatherineM Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 There are so many treatments for depression I'm sorry that they couldn't find one that worked for him. Sometimes they do but stop taking it because they can't tolerate the side affects. I'd tolerate any side affect to be sane, but other people might not. It's sad, not selfish. It certainly isn't brave. I always hope that something like this will lead to talking about mental illness and trying to reduce the stigma. Saying how brave he was will lead the discussion about legalizing euthanasia. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrossCuT Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 Youve lost the ability to claim the moral high ground in this scenario, Blazey. I am extremely appalled...even more so with the fact you have those close who have gone through it. I just cant... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrossCuT Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 There are so many treatments for depression I'm sorry that they couldn't find one that worked for him. Sometimes they do but stop taking it because they can't tolerate the side affects. I'd tolerate any side affect to be sane, but other people might not. It's sad, not selfish. It certainly isn't brave. I always hope that something like this will lead to talking about mental illness and trying to reduce the stigma. Saying how brave he was will lead the discussion about legalizing euthanasia. From what I understand, he had been in treatment for it. He had struggled with it for a while after a drug addiction and open heart surgery. He checked himself back in to get help with his depression but sometimes these things are difficult to get through. :( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Winchester Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 I have every right to my feelings, CrossCut, and being nasty and saying I have some gall to post this isn't nice. I have good reason to feel suicide is selfish. The contagious factor is #1. I also mentioned I lost loved ones. So am I all of the sudden less entitiled to my own opinions? I am acutely aware that her risk was SO GREAT because of her father's suicide. I am aware of her 3 other friends that killed themselves. It was all unnecessary and based upon selfishness. I am NOT detached from this matter. So go kick rocks without socks. You want to say something judgmental, and controversial and then cry when you get the reaction you should expect. You wanted to be the tough, mind-reading, tell it like it is judge. Suck it up, buttercup. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blazeingstar Posted August 13, 2014 Author Share Posted August 13, 2014 Youve lost the ability to claim the moral high ground in this scenario, Blazey. I am extremely appalled...even more so with the fact you have those close who have gone through it. I just cant... Moral high ground? Sorry, but this is my view. It was a chain reaction. Father's best friend and mentor, her father, her, her boyfriend and 2 other friends. This is MANY people dead at their own hands because of the decisions of one. She didn't have to make the choice, and despite what people say about marijuana, i'm sure her state of inebriation didn't help. I was very close to her, I knew her dark secrets, and she knew mine. We made different decisions for our lives. 3 years later, I have an amazing life, and she's decaying in the ground while her mother, sister and newphes and friends who didn't also kill themselves still miss her every moment of every day. I feel, without a doubt, this is selfish. I also feel that my friend who didn't kill himself, despite over a decade of depression, is far more brave and less selfish than any of his friends who did. I also feel that his friend, with a child, who killed himself and who later killed herself over feeling depressed--when she actually had a brain tumor-- was completely selfish and avoidable. This is my opinion. You don't have to like it, but sorry, it's my feelings. That's why I put this on the debate table and not on open mic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blazeingstar Posted August 13, 2014 Author Share Posted August 13, 2014 You want to say something judgmental, and controversial and then cry when you get the reaction you should expect. You wanted to be the tough, mind-reading, tell it like it is judge. smell of elderberries it up, buttercup. Cross cut indicated I'm not entitled to my own opinion. [mod]Personal attack. Warning issued. -dUSt[/mod] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Selah Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 You want to say something judgmental, and controversial and then cry when you get the reaction you should expect. You wanted to be the tough, mind-reading, tell it like it is judge. smell of elderberries it up, buttercup. GIVE THIS MAN A COOKIE Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrossCuT Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 Just stop talking Balzingstar. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lilllabettt Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 actually, I don't think that the thread title is so appalling. I'm entirely open to the idea that suicide itself is a selfish act, on an objective level. It does not necessarily follow that people who commit suicide are themselves selfish. Different things. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blazeingstar Posted August 13, 2014 Author Share Posted August 13, 2014 Just stop talking Balzingstar. This is my thread, if you have hurt feelings go elseware. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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