Penitent Sinners Who Offered Their Lives To Christ And Became Saints

[NadaTeTurbe]

Yes, I'm not sure if I read it... 
Charles de Foucault lived a very sinfull life (sex, alcohol, etc...), until his conversion, where he became a holly man. If would be a great benefit for your spiritual life to read a biography of him ! 

 
Yes, I can understand it. What I fear - it is to be with all the "perfect catholic", who come from catholic family, are virgin, understand all the cultural things related to catholicism... And to be here, me, who come from a atheist, spanish republican then in the resistance during the war, with some jewish root family, and who have a bad past, etc... and who don't deny it. I think it's the harder for me. I can't change my family (that I love), and I can't change my past life, and I don't want to hide it. This year, I am in a catholic college, and I feel very lonely on a lot of point (i don't have monney, I don't understand a lot of things related to catholicism), and I sometimes whant to cry when I speak with the other catholic students and I feel the judgement. I think I am not good enough to be a catholic. In this moment, I try to remember that what matter is my relationship with God, not my past or my family or my place in the society. 
 

[NadaTeTurbe]

You know, also, what can be good is, for a moment, stopping to read the life of saint and read a little of the old testament. 

Here is my little testimony. When I was 14, i was raped. I never went to the police. I was sick, and to try to get better, I became very involved in catholic stuff. The word of the month in the youth group  was purity. So, during the month after the rape, I heard that purity and virginity are very good, that virgin girls (boy did not need virginity in the youth group...) are better than non-virgin girls, etc... They did not tell it like this, but it was my understanding. A brother teach us the life of a saint (can't remember the name), and the conclusion was that "it's better to died than to be raped. If you get raped, you will loose your purity." Of course, I received the message. My conclusion was : I am impure (I felt that way anyway), and I would be better dead than in life. By God grace, I was to "coward" to commit suicide, but I think about it. In the same time, they asked us to read a lot of Saint life (st Thérèse of Lisieux, etc...). And I saw, in this saint life, that their parent were saint, their childhood was saint, their teenage years were saint, etc... Second conclusion : I could not be a saint, because my parent were not saint, my childhood was not one of a saint, and I was impure. Third conclusion : why should I respect God's command when I was so sure I could not be a saint ? I began my sinfull life here. Boys, and other sin. I was also close to other religious tradition. 
I still was an altar server, in this time. One day, there was a priest at the mass, and I asked him for confession. In this confession (that lasted 3 hours !), he told me "you have to choose. What matter for you : God, or other people ?" I said "God in theory, but in practice, it's other people judgement that matter". He told me "you have to stop to compare yourself with other catholic or saint. Stop reading the life of saint". He asked me to read the Bible. And, surprise (I knew nothing of the Bible !), there was so muche sinners in the Bible ! Please, think about David ! And he is in the Bible ! So, if a big sinners like David could still be in the Bible, I could be a saint (or at least a good catholic). I stopped to sins. I also call an feminist association, and they put me in touch with a good counselor. Today... I still have time where I have to remember : god matter, not others. God want everyone to be a saint, even the sinners ! 

 

[seamoylantd]

At least you young adults have the Internet with  Crystalina Evert and Fr Baron and lots of great  resources. When I was young and you were sexually mistreated there was no spiritual perspective.

[puellapaschalis]

I have no idea why I'm typing typed that out loud.

Edited April 26, 2015 by puellapaschalis

[MarysLittleFlower]

Yes, I'm not sure if I read it... 
Charles de Foucault lived a very sinfull life (sex, alcohol, etc...), until his conversion, where he became a holly man. If would be a great benefit for your spiritual life to read a biography of him ! 

 
Yes, I can understand it. What I fear - it is to be with all the "perfect catholic", who come from catholic family, are virgin, understand all the cultural things related to catholicism... And to be here, me, who come from a atheist, spanish republican then in the resistance during the war, with some jewish root family, and who have a bad past, etc... and who don't deny it. I think it's the harder for me. I can't change my family (that I love), and I can't change my past life, and I don't want to hide it. This year, I am in a catholic college, and I feel very lonely on a lot of point (i don't have monney, I don't understand a lot of things related to catholicism), and I sometimes whant to cry when I speak with the other catholic students and I feel the judgement. I think I am not good enough to be a catholic. In this moment, I try to remember that what matter is my relationship with God, not my past or my family or my place in the society. 
 

I'm sorry to hear you feel that way at your college I can relate in some way I think... I'm a convert and my family isn't Catholic. I had lived a very sinful life before. I'm an only child. I love the big Catholic families at my parish and I really love my parish but for the longest time I felt a deep pain in my heart because I couldn't connect to people in this. And I love my family very much too. But its like these two worlds, and then its my past that I sometimes remember. Its like I was a different person. Its funny cause I might look like I fit in... And with my long skirts, no makeup, etc, maybe people wouldn't guess my past. But inside I know. And the difference with my family I feel very keenly. I mean the fact that I'm an only Catholic, only child, that is not common. I love both my family and my parish. I would agree with you about concentrating on your relationship with God... There was a time I didn't have Catholic friends except online and felt very lonely, but God more than made up for this. I went and still go to church for Him. Jesus is there alone and waiting for souls to visit Him, open up to Him..  For each soul because each soul is unrepeatable. God bless you

[MarysLittleFlower]

You know, also, what can be good is, for a moment, stopping to read the life of saint and read a little of the old testament. 

Here is my little testimony. When I was 14, i was raped. I never went to the police. I was sick, and to try to get better, I became very involved in catholic stuff. The word of the month in the youth group  was purity. So, during the month after the rape, I heard that purity and virginity are very good, that virgin girls (boy did not need virginity in the youth group...) are better than non-virgin girls, etc... They did not tell it like this, but it was my understanding. A brother teach us the life of a saint (can't remember the name), and the conclusion was that "it's better to died than to be raped. If you get raped, you will loose your purity." Of course, I received the message. My conclusion was : I am impure (I felt that way anyway), and I would be better dead than in life. By God grace, I was to "coward" to commit suicide, but I think about it. In the same time, they asked us to read a lot of Saint life (st Thérèse of Lisieux, etc...). And I saw, in this saint life, that their parent were saint, their childhood was saint, their teenage years were saint, etc... Second conclusion : I could not be a saint, because my parent were not saint, my childhood was not one of a saint, and I was impure. Third conclusion : why should I respect God's command when I was so sure I could not be a saint ? I began my sinfull life here. Boys, and other sin. I was also close to other religious tradition. 
I still was an altar server, in this time. One day, there was a priest at the mass, and I asked him for confession. In this confession (that lasted 3 hours !), he told me "you have to choose. What matter for you : God, or other people ?" I said "God in theory, but in practice, it's other people judgement that matter". He told me "you have to stop to compare yourself with other catholic or saint. Stop reading the life of saint". He asked me to read the Bible. And, surprise (I knew nothing of the Bible !), there was so muche sinners in the Bible ! Please, think about David ! And he is in the Bible ! So, if a big sinners like David could still be in the Bible, I could be a saint (or at least a good catholic). I stopped to sins. I also call an feminist association, and they put me in touch with a good counselor. Today... I still have time where I have to remember : god matter, not others. God want everyone to be a saint, even the sinners ! 

 

Thats very sad what happened about the rape :( I am sorry... A lot of this is stuff good (virginity, Saints) but maybe not always explained completely. Like virginity is beautiful but its for guys too, and non virgins can be saints too, and rape is an offense against the person. I know the Saint you are describing - I visited her relics once great Saint but she was given a choice by the attacker - agree to be raped or be killed. She didn't want to agree. That's a specific event that occurred. There are many cases women struggle against their attacker and still get raped. In any case God doesn't want it and its something the attacker chose that's a terrible thing :( I believe it hurts His Heart greatly because its an offence against someone's dignity. I believe He would only have compassion for the victim. A priest once asked me - if I saw Jesus now how do I think He would look at me? That did me so much good because I realized how much love He has when He looks at a soul. Its very healing I spend much time thinking of that now..

[MarysLittleFlower]

Anyways God does want each person to be a saint I do believe that...

[MarysLittleFlower]

Thats very sad what happened about the rape I am sorry... A lot of this is stuff good (virginity, Saints) but maybe not always explained completely. Like virginity is beautiful but its for guys too, and non virgins can be saints too, and rape is an offense against the person. I know the Saint you are describing - I visited her relics once great Saint but she was given a choice by the attacker - agree to be raped or be killed. She didn't want to agree. That's a specific event that occurred. There are many cases women struggle against their attacker and still get raped. In any case God doesn't want it and its something the attacker chose that's a terrible thing I believe it hurts His Heart greatly because its an offence against someone's dignity. I believe He would only have compassion for the victim. A priest once asked me - if I saw Jesus now how do I think He would look at me? That did me so much good because I realized how much love He has when He looks at a soul. Its very healing I spend much time thinking of that now..

Just to clarify what I meant is that it sounds like St Maria Goretti was asked to agree to the rape and said no, and the man killed her in response. Most women are not asked questions though they obviously dont want the event, they struggle but are still raped, its ​not willful for them and is forced on them.

St Maria is an example of heroism because of how she lived, how she was so resolute, and forgave her attacker. It doesn't mean that other women agree to the rape if it happens to them or that they would be better if they died, of course God does not want that and when Alessandro killed St Maria he committed another very grave sin. God did not want any of these things. But He made her a Saint martyr and her forgiveness later was so powerful, she appeared to the man, Alessandro after her death and he was converted and lived in a monastery doing penance. Hope it makes sense what I'm saying... That its a specific case cause other women don't agree with the rape either, its forced on them. St Maria was at first asked and kept saying no - they say no too but different outcome. Both are extremely bad sins for the attacker. Murder is not less grave. St Maria pleaded with Alessandro not to sin and do that to his soul. Sorry for so much rambling... I hope it doesn't make things worse  God looks at the will!!!

Edited April 27, 2015 by MarysLittleFlower

[MarysLittleFlower]

Those are just some reasons why I think the story of St Maria Goretti isn't like a commentary on women who were victims of rape. That's not what its saying. God doesn't want rape nor does He want anyone to be killed. He wants repentance from the attackers. I'm sure Jesus has endless compassion on victims of this.

[MarysLittleFlower]

Those are just some reasons why I think the story of St Maria Goretti isn't like a commentary on women who were victims of rape. That's not what its saying. God doesn't want rape nor does He want anyone to be killed. He wants repentance from the attackers. I'm sure Jesus has endless compassion on victims of this.

Also losing virginity is in the will. It has to be willful not forced on the person. It only takes away purity if its a personal choice like fornication. Everything is in the will that is what God looks at.

Edited April 27, 2015 by MarysLittleFlower

[NadaTeTurbe]

I understand what you say about St Maria. A man told her "Do you want me to commit "horrible crime 1" or "horrible crime 2" ?" and, she said no to both. It's a choice that no women, or men, can make. It was "the good answer" I think. I do admire her because she died without hate. Can you  imagine it ? I really want to read a life of Ste Maria Goretti now. She give me hope ! She brought tears to my eyes because she is so loving. I think she is a commentary on every people victims of agression, about loving your ennemies. That's it, no ? 

I understand you with the catholic family. Me sometimes I get frustrated when I see catholic student sinning. i want to tell them : "you have a catholic family ! You can't sin !" 
I like the questions that the priest asked to you. I think if Jesus look at me He will see a sinner that try to not sin. And Jesus loves everyone. It's something that we say every day "God loves us" "Gove loves me", but it's really hard to believe. Some days, my brain is looking at every reason for God not loving me, not wanting me to be a saint, but then I remember David. I think he is a very powerfull message. You can be a sinner, and in the Bible. So you can be a sinner, and loved by God. And a saint ! 

[beatitude]

Bx Charles de Foucault lived a sinful life, I read that it was so terrible that it's why they can't have him as a saint ? 

I can feel you, Mary, because I have a past too. TWe have to trust God and the power of the Sacrament of Confession ! He is full of mercy ! 

​That is not true. Bl. Charles de Foucauld is counted as Blessed, so we know he is in heaven. There is nothing to stop him from being canonised. It's just that canonisation usually takes quite a time. There is no sin that would ever prevent a person from becoming a saint.

As for having a past, I like what the Poor Clare Colettines in Wales say about this in their vocations literature: "Remember that every saint has a past...and every sinner has a future!"

Edited April 27, 2015 by beatitude

[MarysLittleFlower]

I understand what you say about St Maria. A man told her "Do you want me to commit "horrible crime 1" or "horrible crime 2" ?" and, she said no to both. It's a choice that no women, or men, can make. It was "the good answer" I think. I do admire her because she died without hate. Can you  imagine it ? I really want to read a life of Ste Maria Goretti now. She give me hope ! She brought tears to my eyes because she is so loving. I think she is a commentary on every people victims of agression, about loving your ennemies. That's it, no ? 

I understand you with the catholic family. Me sometimes I get frustrated when I see catholic student sinning. i want to tell them : "you have a catholic family ! You can't sin !" 
I like the questions that the priest asked to you. I think if Jesus look at me He will see a sinner that try to not sin. And Jesus loves everyone. It's something that we say every day "God loves us" "Gove loves me", but it's really hard to believe. Some days, my brain is looking at every reason for God not loving me, not wanting me to be a saint, but then I remember David. I think he is a very powerfull message. You can be a sinner, and in the Bible. So you can be a sinner, and loved by God. And a saint ! 

There is a good Italian movie on St Maria Goretti from Ignatius Press it focuses on forgiveness a lot and links it to stuff happening with the poor being oppressed at the time and St Maria's Passionist priest trying to deal with that. They show Alessandro as full of anger/hate and then harassing St Maria and asking her to sin, she keeps saying no, then he attacks her and she tries to fight back, and then as she is praying, he feels more hatred for her and kills her. I'd say it shows the beauty of purity and the ugliness of both rape and murder and everything that lead to it in Alessandro's heart. It made me cry when I watched it because St Maria was praying for him to be next to her in Heaven. She must have received such graces for this. 

About being a saint...That's true about David. I think about St Mary Magdalene usually - she's a very special Saint to me    

Regarding cradle Catholics, many of my friends who came from Catholic families rebelled at some stage and then had to choose and make it their own. I think some people from Catholic families have a rough past too. I feel it more because I didn't have Catholic teaching to guide me and had a lot of habitual sin. I'm trying to overcome feeling this division from others with my situation, family,etc I mean we are all one in Christ... Sometimes its hard... My family really loves me and its not something about them being worse than the Catholic families. My family just suffered in ways or has certain things in the past that doesn't generally happen in the families I know. I wouldn't want others to suffer so much like they have.. But I feel a division because of being a convert and being from a small family.

I read some revelations from Jesus to the Saints about how He longs for souls so much and each soul is important to Him

 He said "give Me your heart, the heart that creatures do not know and which they slight, it is more than a universe to me, because I love you"

 

[BarbTherese]

I am a cradle Catholic and probably in my forties I went through great struggles with my Catholicism.  During my teens too, I had struggles - but nothing like what was to lay ahead. Certainly during my psychotic episodes of Bipolar I have had a colourful past.  Was it a very sinful past? There is no way of knowing just what the level of my own culpability might be.  This fact caused me tremendous struggles indeed until I went to Confession one day and Father told me to never go back into the past again.  From then on I was at complete Peace and this was the second time I had what was to me a near on miracle through Confession.  The first was a cure of scruples.

The problem I had to grapple with was some things that happened during an episode were vivid in memory but I could not recall if I had confessed them or not.  While other things would come back to me many years later indeed and off to Confession I would go unsure if I had confessed the matter or matters or not and it would be something(s) quite some years back during psychotic episodes, sometimes ten to fifteen or so years back.  I still have flashbacks into my psychotic years - I don't know whether this is normal or whether it might be the result of being treated with LSD when I first fell ill.  LSD was then legal for psychiatric use in Australia - now illegal.

It is impossible for me to describe the agony of heart. mind and soul Bipolar has triggered - and over more than two decades.  I don't wonder if I am a repentant sinner or not knowing that I am.  But all such soul searching I have been able to put at Peace and go on as if nothing happened in the first place.  If I am culpable of whatever might have happened in my past, I have made a good Confession and therefore that past exists for neither The Lord and therefore, not for me either.  It is now as if nothing happened in the first place - which is our theology of The Sacrament of Reconciliation.

I have found increasing Peace in the knowledge of The Lord's Love and Mercy which indeed, to me, surpasses absolutely all understanding.

[MarysLittleFlower]

Just to add about St Maria Goretti... I read a really moving true story about a nun. She was raped, maybe gang raped and then got pregnant and had to leave her community to take care of the baby. Can't imagine what she went through. In addition to the crime against her dignity as a human being it was also sacrilige because she's a nun. Yet she speaks with extraordinary forgiveness for the man and sees the child with so much love. She says it was like the child was the way such a terrible event was turned to good instead. Very pro life but her charity and forgiveness is extraordinary. It seems like God took something horrible that happened, that He didn't want, but He gave her graces to deal with it in such a way that she has grown in holiness... And the child sounds like such a sweet little kid - she teaches the child and others about forgiveness and the child isn't made to feel like they're part of the problem, but a gift from God. (Because its not the child's fault who his father is... His ultimate Father is God). I was really moved by that story. I'm sure she protested just like St Maria but the man is stronger physically and continued assaulting her despite her fighting. Alessandro was looking for consent and then got mad and did something else that's horrible.

About sin though... Like not rape but chosen sexual sin... I have been thinking also of St Mary of Egypt. She has quite a story! A priest once told me its not the quantity (how long you have been Catholic) but how well.   And there are people who have always been Catholic but began practicing only later on... Because they had to make it their own and go through that process but maybe rebelled along the way. That's very common.

Edited April 27, 2015 by MarysLittleFlower