Packing For A Live-in?

[Catherine Mectilde]

Such a trivial question, but I'm going to a monastery for a three week live-in soon and I'm already wondering what to pack. I mostly wear jeans, converse and a top/jumper, basically what I would wear to college, and I know I have to dress for classes/prayer/outdoor work, but at the same time I don't want to make it look like I dress casually for Mass. Any tips? Does it even really matter that much?

 

Also, any general suggestiong about making the most of a live-in, or good questions to ask, would be really appreciated.

[nikita92]

How exciting! I stressed over a three day visit to a convent. I packed nice clothes..slacks, skirts..and a pair of nice traveling jeans for flying to and from. Modest nightgown and solid color full robe. I had my own room with bathroom which was nice. I wanted to make sure I was proper for the occason.The other woman who had been on her second live in visit..was a runner..so she had brought her jogging clothes as well. I noticed that she wore jean's in our convent chapel.As I look back now..(it was in the winter time) I kind of think I was a tad bit formal. Enjoy your time!!

[Lilllabettt]

Such a trivial question, but I'm going to a monastery for a three week live-in soon and I'm already wondering what to pack. I mostly wear jeans, converse and a top/jumper, basically what I would wear to college, and I know I have to dress for classes/prayer/outdoor work, 

 

 

when you say "jumper" do you mean American "jumper" (as in pull-over dress) or English jumper (as in sweater)

[TheresaThoma]

When I have gone on convent visits I just took some simple skirts and tops. (I normally wear skirts so it wasn't a big deal). For Sunday Mass I brought a nicer outfit. If you know that you will be doing some manual work bring some older clothes to change into.

 

Talking with the formation director can be really helpful, but don't feel like you have to do it at a certain time. If you don't feel ready to talk by the end of the visit, then don't force it. I found sometimes it is helpful to go back home and collect my thoughts before talking to the formation director.

Also just be open during your visit, don't feel like you have to make any decisions.

I will be praying for you!

[das8949]

Hi,

 

You have received really good advice! The only thing I would add is that the pictures on the Franciscan TOR and DSMME websites show that women wear both jeans and/or skirts for their discernment visits.

I would suggest reaching out to your contact and ask what type of activities you will be doing like gardening and other yard work. This could lead to a discussion of what to bring.

Prayers!  Have a blessed time!

[Sr Mary Catharine OP]

Such a trivial question, but I'm going to a monastery for a three week live-in soon and I'm already wondering what to pack. I mostly wear jeans, converse and a top/jumper, basically what I would wear to college, and I know I have to dress for classes/prayer/outdoor work, but at the same time I don't want to make it look like I dress casually for Mass. Any tips? Does it even really matter that much?

 

Also, any general suggestiong about making the most of a live-in, or good questions to ask, would be really appreciated.

 

Ask the community! They may or not prefer skirts and dresses rather than jeans, etc. We have a guidelines because it is hard not to get stressed out about it.
You want comfortable shoes!! You'll be on your feet a lot!

I would also suggest not wearing t-shirts with writing and advertizing on it, even religious ones. You don't know how distracting it is to stand behind a woman with all kinds of stuff on her shirt during Office and Mass!

[Hemma]

True! :D

 

Do you have any tips about the questions one should not forget to ask?

[Catherine Mectilde]

Thank you all for the excellent advice (and offer of prayers!). I'll send on an email closer to the time and ask about guidelines - thank you Sr Catherine Mary for that suggestion.

 

I think perhaps the self consciousness comes from not wanting to be vain when you're surrounded by people who are clearly concerned with more important things. I don't want to be distracted by what I'm wearing but I also want to show respect and that I appreciate the privilege of being inside the cloister. Tough balance!

 

Yes, Lilllabettt, I meant a sweater, apologies for forgetting to distinguish! I can never remember what the American version of a jumper is, but I am aware they're considered deeply unfashionable? Worry not, I don't have any :)

[Sr Mary Catharine OP]

CM, if the nuns you are making a live-in are anything like us we enjoy seeing nice clothes! You don't have to dress each day like you are going to work but you'll be in and out of choir all day long and much of the life has a sacred meaning. Going to meals is often done in procession, etc. (I don't know which order you are doing a live-in with. Want to give us a hint?)

 

When I made my aspirancy I washed off my make up in the train (this was 1990, we wore more then!) and took off my little silver hoop earrings I always wore. I thought the sisters would think I was worldly. The next day my novice mistress said, "Dear we like seeing the earrings!" I did feel naked without them. They were TINY hoops, nothing big. My mom used to call them my Ellis Island earrings because I looked like I just come in with my grandparents from Sicily with those earrings.

 

I had the current style bob haircut and every morning I would come down to choir with my hair not only wet but with gel so it stayed looking slightly wet! All the sisters were concerned I'd get sick with the AC on!

 

And there was no mirror in my cell! We don't have them in the BR's, either. I had a tiny one I had brought. Later after I entered I found out it was an oversight. My novice mistress asked why I didn't ask for one. I said, "Are you kidding? I'm an aspirant and I'm going to ask for a mirror!"

 

Personally, I don't think jumpers/sleeveless dresses are all that bad but they are more common in New England. Vermont Country store is known for them!

[darcy15]

'Jumper' as known in the US is a pinafore in the UK

.....and I last wore one of those in the 1980's - very fashionable at that time 😊

I lived in Canada for a number of years and what fun we had with language!

Everyone was speaking English - but so many things had quite different meanings dependent on which side of the pond you were from 😊

[TheresaThoma]

As far as questions there are a few really good old threads around here with questions.
If you think of a question before you go or while you are there write it down in a notebook so you can remember to ask it. I've found that many times questions are answered simply by living with the Sisters.
A question/request that is a good one is if you seriously feel this is the right community (and I'm guessing you have been in contact for a while) is to ask to read their rule of life or see if there are any other good documents or books they recommend. That way you can discuss that with them while you are there.

[AccountDeleted]

Yeah, sorry to carry on on this divergent track for a minute, but seriously, living in different English speaking countries really messes up the language skills. In addition to all the vocab, there are the prayers that we say all the time. In the UK and Australia, the Memorare is said slightly differently than in the US, as is St Michael's prayer and a few other ones. It's only when we sing in Latin that I have any chance of getting it right!  I find myself stumbling over a prayer that I know by heart because it is being said with just the slightest differences. *sigh*

 

As for the live-in packing ... everyone has said it - contact the community, use common sense, wear what feels comfortable but shows respect as well. And always take work clothes! Have fun.

[Antigonos]

Yeah, sorry to carry on on this divergent track for a minute, but seriously, living in different English speaking countries really messes up the language skills. In addition to all the vocab, there are the prayers that we say all the time. In the UK and Australia, the Memorare is said slightly differently than in the US, as is St Michael's prayer and a few other ones. It's only when we sing in Latin that I have any chance of getting it right!  I find myself stumbling over a prayer that I know by heart because it is being said with just the slightest differences. *sigh*

 

 

 

That's the strongest argument for the resumption of the use of Latin in the liturgy.  You all used the same words in prayer; each person translated according to his native language.

 

A rabbinical friend of mine said, during Vatican II, that "the Catholics are making the same mistake we Reform Jews did", with a big sigh.  Reform Judaism, for some decades, almost completely dropped the use of Hebrew.  The result was a huge disconnect with Jewish tradition, which is very Hebrew-oriented. [Hebrew, because of its structure, which is very different from Indo-European languages, also has a kind of depth and richness particular to it].  In the past 20 years, more and more Hebrew is reappearing in Jewish services in the Reform movement.

[Sr Mary Catharine OP]

But those are devotional prayers and usually those were said in the vernacular. I have never heard the St. Michael and Memorare said the same way in any 2 houses of religious! There is something about the St. Michael prayer that lends itself to many variations! You should hear Dominicans start the rosary. We all have SLIGHTLY different ways of doing it! (We don't use the creed, etc. but Oh God, come to my assistance, etc.)

This is why we're supposed to use only the APPROVED translations for the liturgy, although I totally agree that with Latin in the liturgy it makes it possible to worship together no matter what country you are in!

 

 

[Hemma]

Yeah, that problem with St. Michael's prayer exists in German, too. In every parish where it is said they use another version. It's incredible how many versions there can be.