New Board: The Purged

[Credo in Deum]

You really need to stop mentioning the Spanish Inquisition. I'm one mention away from going into a 9 paragraph explanation on why the Spanish Inquisition wasn't actually bad if you look at the real history of it. :P

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inquisition 

[Anomaly]

OMG, pun intended. This is "just" the internet. You can walk away from it, you're interfacing with a large group if people that you can only know superficially, there is very limited social constraints in behavior, it is just pixels.

Put it in perspective. You don't have to deal with them if you don't want to. How you interpret others' intent of posts is mostly up to you. Jerks and saints, sheep and goats, weeds and wheat, whatever... You are personally responsible for what you pay attention to.

I get it that you don't really want to hear how you rubbed people the wrong way when that wasn't your intent. But srsly, don't dump your purse on the library table if you don't want people pawing through it. We don't know who you really are, and never will. You won't know others very well either, unless you interact with them in real life. We're just seeing what we drag out of our teepees, not even walking ten steps in each other's moccasins.

Though the drama is usually a little titilating, it does get stale. We probably have real life, multi-demendional, analog people in our lives that know, get, like, and love us. They matter more than people that only interface via pixels. Putting it in perspective, "phamily" is of small import.

Buck up and do something nice for someone in real life. You'll feel better and may realize how little PM people matter in how you see yourself and put the offensives you've experienced here in proper perspective.

[AccountDeleted]

The other thing that I have found helps too - when I get 'upset' by the Internet, is to just take a break - a real break - and live some real life for awhile. If it isn't possible to go out, there are always phones and Skype and other ways to make real life connections. And really, if phatmass is making anyone cry -- then really, seriously, it's time to take a reality check. 

 

I'm all for us being kind and charitable to each other, but this obviously means a lot of different things to a lot of different people. Winchester posted something about being banned before he had made 1000 posts and this made me laugh, prop his post, and then post something about it. Later I got a pm telling me that someone was offended because I thought what Winnie wrote was funny, and this shows just how uncaring a person I am. Really?

 

I did write back and try to explain my reasons to this person, and I didn't intend to write anything here about it, but sometimes I really just can't understand why things get so serious around here. That's why I love the emoticons and the animated gifs. They are like a release of tension - sort of saying, look guys, it isn't all that serious. We aren't facing Third World problems here, just annoying people on the Internet! :)

 

That being said, now I will no doubt get more complaining pms. And NO, I am not going to report anyone. Perhaps they just need to vent a little in private and they are afraid if they vent here they will get banned (like poor old Winnie did). 

 

And Winchester -- all I can say to you is - wow - what perseverance and dedication you must have to still be posting here 11 years later and now a Minion as well! You are my hero! :)

 

And to FP ----- SPANISH INQUISITION!!!!!

[chrysostom]

Seriously what do I need to do to get people to send me angry emails?  Not that I want them, but I've never had the knack somehow.  And the people who do get them don't seem to be behaving any differently than I would.

 

Maybe I should take a look at my life, my choices, and my post count, and be grateful.

[AccountDeleted]

Seriously what do I need to do to get people to send me angry emails?  Not that I want them, but I've never had the knack somehow.  And the people who do get them don't seem to be behaving any differently than I would.

 

Maybe I should take a look at my life, my choices, and my post count, and be grateful.

 

 

Ok, I will have to go back and prop your post. The question isn't what aren't you doing, but what is it that I seem to do that attracts so many upset people? I am not just talking about the Internet, but I have a way of attracting the 'crazies' in the real world too. And before people start jumping down my throat about using that word, I was a psych nurse for 20 years in the days before all the good meds came in - when we locked 30 people in a ward and used padded cells and straight jackets for restraint. We used the term affectionately amongst ourselves. But those days are over, and the locked mental institutions were torn down and all the patients put into half-way houses and other facilities within the community. So often, someone who is obviously suffering from serious psychological problems, has approached me in the bus or tram or train or just in public. I think it is because I am not afraid of them, as so many of the public seem to be. So I engage them in conversation, whether they make sense or not, and they go away happy. But I also seem to attract the kind of 'crazy' who turns into a stalker or otherwise becomes obsessed with me. And I have no idea why. 

 

As for online - well, when I first joined phatmass, I was naive enough to post personal information about myself and this led to all kinds of problems with disturbed or unhappy people thinking they were somehow my 'friends' in real life, and not just online. This led to many problems, so now I don't post anything about myself personally.

 

And yet here I am, still causing people to get upset and send me pms or emails telling me either how much I've disappointed them or hurt them or been mean to them or am just basically a 'not nice' person. I try to respond as carefully as I can, so as not to cause more pain, but let's face it - the problem is really not something that I can solve for them. I keep advising people who have problems with my posts to block me, but then they say there are no problems and I am imagining it. What can I do? Nowadays I laugh and shrug it off.

 

Be grateful chrys for your apparent likeableness! :)   Yes!

[Credo in Deum]

Seriously what do I need to do to get people to send me angry emails? 

 

Be a Mod.  ;)

[dUSt]

The Purge was dumb. That's all you gotta know about it. I purged the names that came up the most amount of times in the form--it's as simple as that. Technically, it could have just been one person submitting your name multiple times. We don't know. That's why it was dumb. It was a silly, ominously named event "THE PURGE", which was actually just a way for me to gain very non-scientific insight into who's names came up the most as being "bad for phatmass" by other members. What really made me realize the error of my ways was when Winchester's name came up several times. As if.

[PhuturePriest]

The Purge was dumb. That's all you gotta know about it. I purged the names that came up the most amount of times in the form--it's as simple as that. Technically, it could have just been one person submitting your name multiple times. We don't know. That's why it was dumb. It was a silly, ominously named event "THE PURGE", which was actually just a way for me to gain very non-scientific insight into who's names came up the most as being "bad for phatmass" by other members. What really made me realize the error of my ways was when Winchester's name came up several times. As if.

 

Out of curiosity, did mine ever come up? I don't think I could ever stand the shame of not having been thrown under the bus.

[Perigrina]

Perigrina, what happened to you was a result of dUSt's decision to do the purge form... he reversed his decision because, among other things, he realized it was a bad idea to let anonymous complaints dictate who was and wasn't a bad member of the phorum.  no one can blame anyone for sending in the form, you're just trying to be helpful... many people hadn't really thought through the consequences and when they became clear we realized it was not a good idea.  you can either accept that, realize that you got anonymously purged at the same time you accidentally helped anonymously purge someone else, realize we all decided it was one big mistake and reversed it all, or you can keep being upset by it... the fact is, people make mistakes.  people are imperfect.  

 

and anyway, I really don't get all this talk about how this is so different online than in real life...

 

What do you do in real life if someone says something that offends you, that might be mean or uncharitable?  Do you ask for it to be censored... do you decide you're never going back to the place they generally go?  That you're never talking to them again?  If that person happens to hold some position of honor in the local parish, do you go to the parish priest and demand that position be taken away because they're not living up to their Catholic faith because they happened to be uncharitable?  Or do you brush it off and pray for them, and if it's really important enough to you (and we all learn how to pick our battles in real life, right?) you actually confront them about it personally, privately.

 

the Phatmass brand has a unique mix of jocularity and orthodoxy.  and that mix actually reaches many people who might not otherwise be reached by the faith, it lets people be comfortable and discuss their faith.  remember this site was started to reach out to people through Catholic hip hop.  we cannot please everyone.  we would be failing to reach a whole lot of people that the phatmass brand has actually reached over the years if we were to suddenly become hyper-sensitive to the general internet humor that we generally have cultivated here because some people get offended... I think it bears repeating the post I made during the purge that dUSt, who is an impressively humble and reasonable admin compared to some of the nightmare admins one finds on the internet with tendencies to dig their heels in, responded to by changing his mind:

 

 

 

anyway, my major point here is that asking you to brush things off is not asking you to treat this LESS like real life but to treat it MORE like real life.  real life doesn't have moderators out to micro-manage charity.  real life includes imperfect people.  the difference on the internet is that many times things that offend people are miscommunications based on lack of tone through text or different kinds of humor... but the principle is the same.

 

anyway, one either has to brush off the purge experiment or not... that's your call.  I really don't know who voted you off the island or why they did it, but phatmass came to its senses and decided not to have anonymously driven purges.

 

 

In real life, nobody has ever thrown me in jail based on an anonymous complaint without a charge being mentioned.  If I had had any idea that Dust was not going to investigate the names given to him, I would not have given a name.

 

In real life, when  I join an organization that says it has certain goals, I expect it to look like it has those goals.  In real life I don't hang around people who are mean to me and others.  In real life, when somebody makes a mistake and it hurts people, that person apologizes.

 

I would be a lot easier to get over what happened if people acknowledged that I was hurt and that is reasonable to be hurt, instead of telling me that my feelings aren't important and I should just move on.

[Perigrina]

Peregrina:

 

First off ... I will say I'm sorry about what you are going through.  Others on here may not be empathetic, but knowing what I've felt over the last few weeks I can definitely empathize.

 

Thank you.  This is what I wanted and needed.  I just needed some people to say that something bad happened to me and there is nothing wrong with me for feeling hurt by it.

[Perigrina]

I do not think you or Lil Red should have been purged. Never. If you guys were I should have been, hands down. Probably it was because someone got punch drunk on using the purge form. But unless they come forward you will never know why. And that's awful isn't it? They get off free and you have to carry the baggage. It's unfair. Lets never do it to each other again. 

 

 

I did not think that Lil Red should have been purged either and I said so at the time.  I suspect that the people who named me were her groupies, after me for daring to criticize her, but I do not hold that against Red at all.  She is a decent person.

[Perigrina]

oh my goodness (don't blasphemy), pun intended. This is "just" the internet. You can walk away from it, you're interfacing with a large group if people that you can only know superficially, there is very limited social constraints in behavior, it is just pixels.

Put it in perspective. You don't have to deal with them if you don't want to. How you interpret others' intent of posts is mostly up to you. Jerks and saints, sheep and goats, weeds and wheat, whatever... You are personally responsible for what you pay attention to.

I get it that you don't really want to hear how you rubbed people the wrong way when that wasn't your intent. But srsly, don't dump your purse on the library table if you don't want people pawing through it. We don't know who you really are, and never will. You won't know others very well either, unless you interact with them in real life. We're just seeing what we drag out of our teepees, not even walking ten steps in each other's moccasins.

Though the drama is usually a little titilating, it does get stale. We probably have real life, multi-demendional, analog people in our lives that know, get, like, and love us. They matter more than people that only interface via pixels. Putting it in perspective, "phamily" is of small import.

Buck up and do something nice for someone in real life. You'll feel better and may realize how little PM people matter in how you see yourself and put the offensives you've experienced here in proper perspective.

 

You weren't paying attention.  Because of my health I have very few relationships with analog people.  I am fine with being told how I may have rubbed people the wrong way.  But I am not fine with this "just pixels" garbage. Until you have been in the situation of having most of your human interaction online, you will have no clue what this is like.

[Perigrina]

The Purge was dumb. That's all you gotta know about it. I purged the names that came up the most amount of times in the form--it's as simple as that. Technically, it could have just been one person submitting your name multiple times. We don't know. That's why it was dumb. It was a silly, ominously named event "THE PURGE", which was actually just a way for me to gain very non-scientific insight into who's names came up the most as being "bad for phatmass" by other members. What really made me realize the error of my ways was when Winchester's name came up several times. As if.

 

Winchester is not bad for Phatmass.  The idea that a person can be above the rules is bad for Phatmass.  And that is not Winchester's fault.

[cmaD2006]

The Purge was dumb. That's all you gotta know about it. I purged the names that came up the most amount of times in the form--it's as simple as that. Technically, it could have just been one person submitting your name multiple times. We don't know. That's why it was dumb. It was a silly, ominously named event "THE PURGE", which was actually just a way for me to gain very non-scientific insight into who's names came up the most as being "bad for phatmass" by other members. What really made me realize the error of my ways was when Winchester's name came up several times. As if.

 

Actually ... the fact that Winchester's name came up several times means something.

 

He even said it on this thread ... he was banned at first when he joined phatmass.  Which means, as a human being that can make mistakes, Winchester can cross the line named after him.

[dUSt]

In true transparency, here are the results of The Purge:

The question on the form was:
Is there a member that is harmful to the well being of phatmass? Who?

 

And the results were:

dUSt (6)
Lil Red (6)

Winchester (6)
Perigrina (4)

franciscanheart (4)
mortify II (4)

Ice Princess (3)

FuturePriest (3)
Blazingstar (2)

Semper Catholic (2)
Oremus1 (2)

Hasan (2)

roamin catholic (2)

abrideofchrist (2)

the171 (2)

Samuel Clemens
Edward Longshanks
Dick Cheney
futuresister2009
reyb
teresitacarmel
Ralph Macchio
Benedictus
dairygirl4u2c
nunsense
hierphant
Gnostic Christian Bishop
das8949