Books And Convents

[Sr Mary Catharine OP]

You need to ask the community. It varies greatly from place to place and can change from year to year. We say that a postulant can bring 5 books for her personal use and to give me a list of the books she has and then I tell her what ones she can also bring that would be good for the library, God willing that she perseveres. However, none of her books go into the library until Solemn Profession. We have a special book case in the novitiate for their books. I might also let them bring some CD's or DVD's that we might find good to have as well. So, you really need to talk to your community. They are really the only ones who can answer this question.

 

We began limiting after having a number of postulants bring boxes and boxes of stuff and then leave 6 weeks later. Not only do we not have room for all this, the cost of shipping back home is usual quite high. And it is good to begin to be detached from one's stuff from the beginning. My experience is that after 6 weeks you don't even remember you have it back home. If there is something a postulant has back home that proves to be helpful to her she's always allowed to ask for it.

[Sponsa-Christi]

 

Lastly, a sad reality is that I have known more than I care to count monastic women who did not end up making solemn vows. They went all the way through; never thinking that there would be any issue whatsoever and I can promise you it was a great shock to find out that the Council had voted no. One I know personally was a Carmelite and three (that I know personally) were Poor Clares. I know active Sisters whom have also faced this reality but transferring out of an active community, while still very painful, is typically not as heartbreaking and difficult as it is for women in monastic/contemplative (Traditional) Monasteries. 

 

 

 

I know this is off-topic and kind of a sensitive issue, but I’m genuinely concerned, does this sort of thing happen often? That is, where a Sister will go through all the years of formation honestly thinking that everything is fine, and then get a great shock when she is simply not approved for final vows?

 

I know technically no community has to approve anyone for final vows. But it would seem unjust to “string along” someone who really wasn’t suited for the life, or to let someone pour years of their life into a community where it’s known that she doesn’t have a future.

 

Even if this sort of thing is more common than it should be, I’m hoping it’s still relatively rare? Wouldn’t a community ordinarily be in regular and honest conversation with a Sister throughout her formation regarding her suitability for final vows?

[Sr Mary Catharine OP]

I know this is off-topic and kind of a sensitive issue, but I’m genuinely concerned, does this sort of thing happen often? That is, where a Sister will go through all the years of formation honestly thinking that everything is fine, and then get a great shock when she is simply not approved for final vows?

 

I know technically no community has to approve anyone for final vows. But it would seem unjust to “string along” someone who really wasn’t suited for the life, or to let someone pour years of their life into a community where it’s known that she doesn’t have a future.

 

Even if this sort of thing is more common than it should be, I’m hoping it’s still relatively rare? Wouldn’t a community ordinarily be in regular and honest conversation with a Sister throughout her formation regarding her suitability for final vows?

 

I think it depends on the community. I know of a few non-Dominican monasteries where it happened this way. To be honest, there are a lot of sides to this sort of thing. First it may not be the community's custom to "warn" a sister that she may not be approved for vows. I really don't think that is healthy myself and we don't do this. ON THE OTHER HAND, there may have been quite a few hints and warnings and the sister just didn't get it.

Also, there is this thing called TIME! Sometimes it can seem that a sister's vocation is doubtful and then suddenly, it all clicks and she makes great progress in a short time. This is why I do prefer the more open-ended approach such as in Eastern monasticism.
 

In the end though, the decision to put in a white or black ball is entirely up to the conscious of each individual sister on the council and chapter. And they are free to keep their decision private. I know that when the community was voting for me for Solemn Profession I was in the choir bawling my eyes out and thanking our Lord for the past 6 years and telling him that if I wasn't to stay he'd have to show me VERY FAST what was next! Later the Sisters couldn't believe I was so worried! Well, I WAS!

[Egeria]

I know this is off-topic and kind of a sensitive issue, but I’m genuinely concerned, does this sort of thing happen often? That is, where a Sister will go through all the years of formation honestly thinking that everything is fine, and then get a great shock when she is simply not approved for final vows?

 

I know of one monastic community where I was told that this happened several decades ago - probably early seventies. The person who told me about it said that the sisters were kept on until they came up for solemn profession because they were needed for their work, but the community was too threatened by them to accept them to profession. The person who told me had been the assistant to the novice mistress but left the monastery because she could not in conscience go along with the injustice. When she had approached the novice mistress, the novice mistress had agreed with her that it was unethical but had felt unable to confront the abbess and her council. As I say, this was several decades ago and the community was probably rather dysfunctional and going through a difficult period and it certainly wouldn't happen there today. I've no idea how widespread it is elsewhere, but I wouldn't expect it of any of the communities that I know.

[SNJM]

Sister Mary Catharine's response perfectly connects go the experiences I have heard about (first hand). You must remember that each community IS different as is each nun. Sometimes, as Sister pointed out, the Sister in question "just didn't get it," and I have seen, after processing the experience with the former member, they were able to look back & see things they didn't see at the time. I really like what Sister said and her approach. However, please remember that not all communities are healthy and this is part of your discernment. Ask questions!!!