How To Talk To People

[Nihil Obstat]

perhaps nursing psychic aggression is not a pro interview/communication tip. they have not actually called me back.

You should have realized that all Reptilians can perceive and interpret your psychic energy.

[Lilllabettt]

some Reptilians milk us like we milk cows. some Reptilians eat us like we eat chicken.

But I am a lesbian lizard woman from the dawn of time.

[maximillion]

To the OP......

 

 

If you think thoughts like this 

 

 

 

But I am a lesbian lizard woman from the dawn of time.

 

 

you will find you are not stuck for something to share!!!! :hehe2:

[Lilllabettt]

[media]http://youtu.be/JjKppQYYW9Q[/media]

[AveMariaPurissima]

Thank you everyone for your suggestions and support! :)  I will definitely keep trying. :saint2:

[AveMariaPurissima]

Went grocery shopping earlier, and I did talk to one person, and smiled at several others.  So that's progress! :)

[dUSt]

The best way to learn how to talk to people is to volunteer to work a phatmass merch booth.

[chrysostom]

The best way to learn how to talk to people is to volunteer to work a phatmass merch booth.

 

Dust, I'm all yours if you need volunteers where I live.  Now if you would just empty your PMs...

Edited July 25, 2014 by chrysostom

[tinytherese]

Just to clarify, being quiet, shy, and introverted are not the same thing.

 

Being quiet means that you don't talk a lot. Sometimes it's because of shyness but sometimes people are just quiet because they don't have anything to say and or they're listening. Maybe you need time to process what another person is saying and think about it, only to think of something to say about the subject after the event has passed.

 

Shyness is when you want to talk to people, but you're nervous around them.

 

Introversion is when you feel overstimulated by being around people and you feel recharged after spending time alone.It isn't that you don't like people, you just spend time alone more frequently than others might.

 

It is possible to be a person who is quiet, shy, and introverted, or only two of those triats, only one of them, or none of them.

 

Here's an article on how to make small talk. http://www.artofmanliness.com/2012/08/22/how-to-make-small-talk/

Edited July 25, 2014 by tinytherese

[Catherine Therese]

  :bounce:

 

 

So the point of this rambling post...if anyone has any advice/suggestions/thoughts/resources/empathy/prayers/etc. they could offer, I would be most appreciative!!! :saint2:

 

I kinda think that the EFFECT of your 'rambling' post is that you've already got this :) 

 

You started a conversation with us and didn't just set it going then watch it from afar, you posted again in the conversation. If you were to post AGAIN,  (especially with a Lil Red-style gif) that would pretty much seal the deal.

 

Do in person what you did on this phorum and you'll be fine!

 

(you might feel jittery inside about it, but that feeling will go away as your confidence in dealing with others more proactively grows)

[Catherine Therese]

  :bounce:

 

     ^ Anyone notice that smiley here is bouncing in time with the flashing background?

[Lil Red]

Hi everyone!  I need some advice... :bounce:

I am a very shy, socially awkward person. :paperbag:   (Well, I'm better than I used to be, but I still have a looooong way to go.)  However, I really want to work on improving in this area.  I don't expect to go from being an introvert to being an extrovert, or to become the most bubbly, gregarious person ever, but I definitely want and need to get better, especially so I can reach out to more people and bring Christ to them.

So, following my unofficial-SD's advice, I want to work on this.  Even just making small talk with random people in the grocery store or whatever.  But I don't know how to start.  Not only am I shy, I just don't really know what to say.  I've been told that using humor helps to break the ice, but I can't think of exactly how to take that approach either... 

 

So the point of this rambling post...if anyone has any advice/suggestions/thoughts/resources/empathy/prayers/etc. they could offer, I would be most appreciative!!! :saint2:

 

Make a joke about yourself. Or make a joke about them. (not really)

 

Actually…pretend it's your job. Pretend that you are getting paid to be friendly. Like an actor, kind of. Develop a "persona" that's just an extension of your actual personality. basically this is what I did as a youth minister. I had to be friendly, outgoing, engaging, etc…and though I am usually those things anyway, I'm not really with strangers. 

 

go to Toastmasters meetings. Practice small talk to yourself (sounds dumb, it worked for me though). 
 

[marigold]

 

Actually…pretend it's your job. Pretend that you are getting paid to be friendly. Like an actor, kind of. Develop a "persona" that's just an extension of your actual personality. basically this is what I did as a youth minister. I had to be friendly, outgoing, engaging, etc…and though I am usually those things anyway, I'm not really with strangers. 
 

 

I can't emphasise how important this one has been for me, because I pretty much am paid to be friendly - I'm a nanny. I'm not really shy, but on my own, I often don't feel I have 'permission' to start chatting or ask for numbers etc., or have a crisis of confidence that a given person is going to want to give me the time of day. But when I'm out with the kids I turn into Social Wonderwoman. I swap numbers, I make actual grown-up friends, I ask people out on [play]dates, I stop to chat to people I've only met in passing, I can yell at people to get out of the way of oncoming mini-scooter... I'm convinced that having a purpose or talking point (everyone wants to talk about their own kids) has helped me better my social skills.

 

An interesting side-effect of this is that in the coming year or so I will probably be going out and about as a public representative of the faith. When I was in the monastery, one of the minor things that got to me was that people 'wouldn't see the real me' any more (conveniently I didn't notice how all the sisters, though clothed head to toe in identical clothes, were unavoidably unique). Aside from the fact that it's not really true, it's the 'real me' who would be too scared to travel around telling people about a new monastery. Wonderwoman can do it no problem, because she knows she has a purpose and uses that as the hook to get talking. It's exactly like Lil Red says, you develop a persona that is an extension of the real you.

[maximillion]

Yeah, having a child or a dog with you is a great barrier breaker..................

[Catherine Therese]

 Wonderwoman can do it no problem, because she knows she has a purpose and uses that as the hook to get talking. 

 

This is SO TRUE. 

 

I'm really bad at making small talk, and I suffer from social anxiety in many contexts. 

But CONTEXT is so important. Having a clear purpose or shared setting gives you a starting point, a "hook" as marigold calls it. 

 

My confidence has skyrocketed only recently, with the commencement of a new job. I'm discovering that, with the context of that work hook, I'm actually very good at meeting new people, initiating conversations and breaking the ice. I slide into the wonder woman role too.