cappie Posted July 25, 2014 Share Posted July 25, 2014 Everytime someone uses the word "pastoral," my mind immediately goes to cows grazing in the pasture. :hehe2: Funny I was referring to another post here where there is an inference about "pastoral" but the symphony is OK :hehe2: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Freedom Posted July 25, 2014 Share Posted July 25, 2014 Is there any romance involved? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ice_nine Posted July 25, 2014 Share Posted July 25, 2014 what is romance? srs question Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amppax Posted July 25, 2014 Share Posted July 25, 2014 what is romance? srs question I thought about posting the music video to Lady Gaga's "Bad Romance" in response to this. Then I watched it. MY EYES, THEY BURN. :pinch: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnlySunshine Posted July 25, 2014 Share Posted July 25, 2014 I thought about posting the music video to Lady Gaga's "Bad Romance" in response to this. Then I watched it. MY EYES, THEY BURN. :pinch: Lady Gaga is totally about shock value. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benedictus Posted July 26, 2014 Share Posted July 26, 2014 Tardis - I agree with nearly everything CrossCut put in her first post. I can understand the companionship elements, the need for some emotional connection and so on. I would say to maybe look at why you are wanting to pursue this specific setup. Had you considered other solutions to meet your emotional needs, such as a houseshare, living with someone (a very close friend etc) you aren't attracted towards and similar sorts of situations. I think the emotional intimacy of this relationship may end up causing you some pain, especially if you are having to constantly fight your desires. Maybe this aspect isn't so strong for you both, only you'd know. But it maybe worth looking at how you've both managed to this point and then assess whether being together will make it harder for either of you. Also, have you considered how you will deal with other people - the questions, the assumptions? How much will you disclose or clarify etc as it may get tricky. It maybe also be worth reviewing how you'd feel if the other guys views change about your relationship, either expecting more intimacy or rejects you (or this damages your friendship). If something more happens between you both how would you handle it and move forward etc. I ask all this as I'm trying to see it from your perspective. Anyway, I hope your work it out. Prayers ascending for you ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhuturePriest Posted July 26, 2014 Share Posted July 26, 2014 The one thing you wont ever have to experience is the seclusion and loneliness that Tardis experiences since you are already in happy relationship with someone you love and care for. So I wouldnt jump too far to say you two are similar. If you think happiness is found in romantic relationships, your life is going to be very painful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrossCuT Posted July 26, 2014 Share Posted July 26, 2014 Stop talking Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhuturePriest Posted July 26, 2014 Share Posted July 26, 2014 (edited) Stop talking Stop saying romantic involvement is required for fulfillment, because it's not. Also, I never spoke. Tardis, I am coming at this as several things. 1, a faithful Catholic who is obedient to the Church, and 2, your friend whose concern is not that you're breaking conventional ways (I think I have several threads which involve shaving legs and Anne of Green Gables which do that), but for your salvation. I am not openly condemning what you are doing or denouncing this experiment. It is understandable in this culture that you feel you need romance to feel fulfillment. However, I want you to mentally distance yourself and look at this logically, and ask the following questions: Is this making me a holier person? Is this making him a holier person? Are we growing closer to Christ and thus salvation? Don't use your automatic emotional response, which desperately wants the answer to be positive, but answer with logic and facts. Go to your parish priest who you admire, bring your friend with you to a meeting with Father, and discuss it with him. See what Father thinks. From talking to you a lot on Facebook, I don't think this is doing you any bad necessarily, but I don't think it's doing you any good, either. You're freshly back into the faith, and I think you should focus more on your faith life right now, rather than seeking something which might pull you away from it. Because whether you like it or not, this will give you both temptations, and you need to have an unshakeable faith before undertaking something that might ruin it completely. I'm not certain that making it exclusive is a very good idea. Why can't you just be good friends? Labels are stupid. Be friends, hang out, do guy friend stuff together, love each other as brothers in Christ helping each other along to heaven. But there is no logical reason for why you need to label yourselves as boyfriends and make it "exclusive". I know this is probably frustrating and difficult for you, and I hope you know where I'm coming from. I just want the best for your soul, and I want you to be absolutely sure that this is a good idea, because the risks are incredibly high. You wouldn't jump into a business deal that might make you lose a billion dollars, so why would you jump into something that could make you lose your soul? I'll be praying for you. You know you can always talk to me on Facebook when you need to. Edited July 26, 2014 by FuturePriest387 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clare Brigid Posted July 27, 2014 Share Posted July 27, 2014 (edited) Tardis Ad Astra, I would encourage both of you to read, study and discuss the book Spiritual Friendship, by St. Aelred. It is a classic and it pertains directly to your situation and your aspirations. Also read the patristic text from the Office of Readings for January 2nd, concerning the friendship of SS. Basil and Gregory. Then pray for Our Lord's blessing and presence in the relationship. I believe this relationship could prove a great gift. Edited July 27, 2014 by Clare Brigid Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhuturePriest Posted July 28, 2014 Share Posted July 28, 2014 I just want to take this moment to bask in my Crazy Dope Post. That is all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TeeCee Posted July 28, 2014 Share Posted July 28, 2014 I just want to take this moment to bask in my Crazy Dope Post. That is all. We can try for another one. :) :) :) Tardis ( the Whovian in me loves your name), I don't have any advice - just prayers for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amppax Posted July 28, 2014 Share Posted July 28, 2014 I just want to take this moment to bask in my Crazy Dope Post. That is all. Stop being such a narcissistic fetus. :rolleyes: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhuturePriest Posted July 28, 2014 Share Posted July 28, 2014 Stop being such a narcissistic fetus. :rolleyes: Stop trying to run my life like Big Brother. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fidei Defensor Posted July 28, 2014 Author Share Posted July 28, 2014 I just want to take this moment to bask in my Crazy Dope Post. That is all. Mine got a Crazy Dope Post too! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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