Nihil Obstat Posted July 23, 2014 Share Posted July 23, 2014 You implied the comparison was deficient because we do not share a particular, irrelevant, similarity. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrossCuT Posted July 23, 2014 Share Posted July 23, 2014 (edited) No I was pointing out that while the situation of entering into a possible forbidden relationship is completely different in the sense that he cannot ever form a romantic relationship with someone he cares for where as you can. So even while you can throw out two situations that have a "forbidden" love aspect to them, his is significantly different than your own in that the option will never be available. You could presumably leave your current wife, get a divorce/annulment, and seek to continue the relationship you developed with the other person if you so chose. And maybe im being overly sensitive but it came off as very disingenuous to me. Edited July 23, 2014 by CrossCuT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amppax Posted July 23, 2014 Share Posted July 23, 2014 No I was pointing out that while the situation of entering into a possible forbidden relationship is completely different in the sense that he cannot ever form a romantic relationship with someone he cares for where as you can. So even while you can throw out two situations that have a "forbidden" love aspect to them, his is significantly different than your own in that the option will never be available. You could presumably leave your current wife, get a divorce/annulment, and seek to continue the relationship you developed with the other person if you so chose. And maybe im being overly sensitive but it came off as very disingenuous to me. Relax, you're being oversensitive and completely (well not completely, but mostly) missing his point. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nihil Obstat Posted July 23, 2014 Share Posted July 23, 2014 If I could simply "get an annulment", then I would not at this moment be married, and therefore my example would no longer apply. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Credo in Deum Posted July 23, 2014 Share Posted July 23, 2014 (edited) I consider him my "boyfriend," in the world of my mind.. I am quite aware of the occasion for sin. Believe me, it wasn't something I just jumped into for no good reason.. I consider him my boyfriend in that we are only "seeing" each other. I simply wanted to share with my phamily something that is part of my life, something that I have prayed about, something that allows me to share my love with someone else without destroying my soul.My friend no one puts themselves in an occasion of sin because they perceive evil, but rather because they perceive a good. I'm sure St. Peter went to the trial with St. John, not with the intent to deny Christ, but rather because he saw an opportunity to do something good for Him. However due to human weakness he fell, like all of us do when we put ourselves in an occasion of sin, because at the end of the day there isn't a "good" reason to put ones self in such an occasion. I quoted the parts above because I believe they show the "red flags" so to speak regarding the situation. I believe you have shown by your own words that this is more than a strong friendship, and that you know it can be an occasion of sin for you. I hope you will take some more time and pray about this and I hope you seek the advice of your spiritual director or parish priest in this matter. God bless. Edited July 23, 2014 by Credo in Deum Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nihil Obstat Posted July 23, 2014 Share Posted July 23, 2014 It bears mentioning - I have been taught specifically that intentionally putting oneself in a near occasion of mortal sin is itself mortally sinful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Credo in Deum Posted July 23, 2014 Share Posted July 23, 2014 You have been taught correctly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fidei Defensor Posted July 23, 2014 Author Share Posted July 23, 2014 (edited) It bears mentioning - I have been taught specifically that intentionally putting oneself in a near occasion of mortal sin is itself mortally sinful. If I had an unquenchable sex drive and was purposely throwing him into bed, then I would consider it a mortally sinful occasion of sin. This is not the case. Hanging out with him isn't an occasion to sin. I said I was aware that it could be one, but it's not always one. I don't mind using the term boyfriend because it describes what the relationship essentially is — emotional support, companionship, helping each other achieve greater holiness through prayer and the sacraments. I realize most of you don't like me using that word, but it's my prerogative. I should reiterate that he is also a Catholic, he also attends Mass regularly, he is a prayerful person. It's not as if I just chose any old person off the street and said "hey, lets have a gay relationship!" At the same time, I understand what it being said. But I take a different view of life, that I have one worth living and my love is worth sharing with others, including the possibility of a relationship with another man, albeit a very different relationship than how a relationship is traditionally understood. Edited July 23, 2014 by tardis ad astra Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mortify ii Posted July 24, 2014 Share Posted July 24, 2014 Yea I kinda told myself something similar about a yoga instructor I was seeing, just going to be platonic... yea... platonic... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Credo in Deum Posted July 24, 2014 Share Posted July 24, 2014 Yea I kinda told myself something similar about a yoga instructor I was seeing, just going to be platonic... yea... platonic... You downward facing dog, you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Basilisa Marie Posted July 24, 2014 Share Posted July 24, 2014 Do you two have spiritual directors? Something like that might be especially helpful in a complex situation like yours. It's good that the two of you are practicing Catholics and have similar priorities like maintaining chastity. But having a third party can really help keep everyone accountable. It's sometimes hard to see the reality of any relationship from the inside, especially if something does go wrong. Even just making sure you yourself have one can be great. :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LittleWaySoul Posted July 25, 2014 Share Posted July 25, 2014 Do you two have spiritual directors? Something like that might be especially helpful in a complex situation like yours. It's good that the two of you are practicing Catholics and have similar priorities like maintaining chastity. But having a third party can really help keep everyone accountable. It's sometimes hard to see the reality of any relationship from the inside, especially if something does go wrong. Even just making sure you yourself have one can be great. :) This is a reeeeeally good idea! :smile3: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cappie Posted July 25, 2014 Share Posted July 25, 2014 Do you two have spiritual directors? Something like that might be especially helpful in a complex situation like yours. It's good that the two of you are practicing Catholics and have similar priorities like maintaining chastity. But having a third party can really help keep everyone accountable. It's sometimes hard to see the reality of any relationship from the inside, especially if something does go wrong. Even just making sure you yourself have one can be great. :) Good idea as long as the SD is not "too pastoral" :evil: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnlySunshine Posted July 25, 2014 Share Posted July 25, 2014 Good idea as long as the SD is not "too pastoral" :evil: Everytime someone uses the word "pastoral," my mind immediately goes to cows grazing in the pasture. :hehe2: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrysostom Posted July 25, 2014 Share Posted July 25, 2014 My mind goes to [youtube]http://youtu.be/t2VY33VXnrQ[/youtube] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now