Lilllabettt Posted July 23, 2014 Share Posted July 23, 2014 So turkey sandwiches are OK now? http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/topic/133903-the-third-way-homosexuality-and-the-catholic-church/?p=2669963 gobble gobble. No, but for serious. Speaking as a heterosexual woman with a normal sex drive if I were required to break ties with any young man I find attractive I think would need to dump all my male friends and don a burqa at the grocery store. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lilllabettt Posted July 23, 2014 Share Posted July 23, 2014 Ah, I am not the only one who was a bit taken aback. 1. Thank you for chiming in. Seriously much appreciated. 2. I strive not to get out my jump to conclusions mat. Prudence is a judgment call, after all. We all have different ideas do we not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CatherineM Posted July 23, 2014 Share Posted July 23, 2014 I'm always on the mobile edition where you can't see props. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ash Wednesday Posted July 23, 2014 Share Posted July 23, 2014 (edited) Interesting that this would come up. A movie recently came out called Desire of the Everlasting Hills. It's actually very well done documentary done by the Courage apostolate. The style and execution is actually beautifully done. http://everlastinghills.org/movie/ http://www.ncregister.com/daily-news/review-desire-of-the-everlasting-hills/ One of the speakers, Paul, does briefly allude to having a companion in his life that he apparently once had a sexual relationship with. But he does not go into specifics about it except for the fact that their relationship actually improved with chastity. But very little else is said about it, what their living arrangements are or the nature of their relationship (it's not exlusively what the documentary was about so that's probably why). But I think it's good to see things like this come up because we have plenty of resources about chastity and boundaries of companionship for heterosexual men and women, but I haven't seen a lot for people with same sex attraction. I think as a Church, are entering into some new and uncharted territory about how to socially address Catholics (who actually want to be practicing Catholics) with same sex attraction. Up until now, for the most part I've seen either: 1. the approach of heterodox parishes that want to be inclusive but aren't authentic and compromise the teachings of the Church. But like a soft parent, they fail to protect their child, and in the end, the child no longer takes you all that seriously. 2. Catholics that are uncomfortable and socially constipated about the whole thing, don't want to discuss it and pretty much tell SSA Catholics more or less that they need to be chaste but don't offer a lot of support about it. Many would just as soon see them quietly swept under a rug to live lives of loneliness and isolation. Nothing can take the place of the sacraments, but at the end of the day, everyone still needs companionship and to know that they are loved by other human beings, and we need to find better ways to address this. Some of the Catholics in The Third Way (another movie about chastity -- http://www.blackstonefilms.org/films/the-third-way/) make very good points -- many Catholics with these inclinations flock to the gay scene to fulfill a need for belonging, family, and companionship. Catholics and parishes need to find a better way to openly discuss and provide a social alternative to that. Anyway, I just thought I'd pass along both films because I had recently seen them and gave me a lot to think about. I will pray for you, my friend Tardar Sauce, it's not just a grey area for you but for a lot of us. Edited July 23, 2014 by Ash Wednesday Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrossCuT Posted July 23, 2014 Share Posted July 23, 2014 Tardis, While I support your decision I do understand the sentiments of the others when they say that being so close to someone will naturally nurture stronger emotional feelings of attraction. While I do not find anything sinful about the love you have for another person, I do understand that you feel physical relationship with the same sex it is wrong and that you feel you are called to a chaste life. I do not believe that anyone should be alone if they do not wish to be but I hope that your decision does not weight down on your spiritual life and cause you pain in that sense. I am definitely someone who knows what it is like to feel the pain of being at odds with what you grew up believing and it can be a tough thing to handle emotionally. But you seem pretty settled in your thoughts and that I am glad that it is something you put a lot of thought into! Shows you are a very intelligent and mature individual. I commend you! :love: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nihil Obstat Posted July 23, 2014 Share Posted July 23, 2014 Well, it seems that the 'strange prop' is gone now. :P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MIKolbe Posted July 23, 2014 Share Posted July 23, 2014 Something's just not kosher halal about this fixed for you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mortify ii Posted July 23, 2014 Share Posted July 23, 2014 fixed for you Don't be anti-Semetic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChristianGirlForever Posted July 23, 2014 Share Posted July 23, 2014 Just wanted to say that a relationship between two people in love is still a relationship whether they are sleeping together or not. Maybe it's viewed differently in the homosexual world. I don't know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nihil Obstat Posted July 23, 2014 Share Posted July 23, 2014 Well, here are my thoughts on the subject if anyone wants them. I am a guy, heterosexual, and married. Obviously married people can still find other people attractive. That in and of itself is not a problem. We have a fair number of mutual friends, and objectively speaking I would say that some of them are quite attractive. Again, this is not a problem in and of itself. What would be a problem would be if I found one friend who is not my wife to be particularly attractive, and were to then seek out that person's company in ways that go beyond the already-established uncontroversial friendship. It would be very seriously wrong for me to form some kind of intimate attachment to this other person, even if the relationship was never physical. This would be emotional infidelity. The way I see it, there is a major similarity between a married person and a person attracted to the same sex. That is, both groups must exercise self-control with regards to their attractions. For a married man, he must recognize the fact that he can never establish a romantic/intimate relationship with a woman who is not his wife. I think that likewise a man who is attracted to other men cannot be encouraged to establish a romantic relationship, even a non-physical one, with another man. I believe that chastity requires, according to their specific states in life, that these attractions are not encouraged. They need not be denied; we do not have to pretend we do not experience them. But we should not entertain them, because such encouragement IMO constitutes an offense against chastity. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrossCuT Posted July 23, 2014 Share Posted July 23, 2014 (edited) The one thing you wont ever have to experience is the seclusion and loneliness that Tardis experiences since you are already in happy relationship with someone you love and care for. So I wouldnt jump too far to say you two are similar. Edited July 23, 2014 by CrossCuT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnightofChrist Posted July 23, 2014 Share Posted July 23, 2014 Tardis, I hope I do not cause offense by saying this... but I believe this attempt at finding middle ground between your love for faith, and love for your friend will in the end hurt you and your friend. Thinking of someone as a boyfriend or as girlfriend when they are not actually our boyfriend or girlfriend is something that should be avoided. Even for a heterosexuals such a arrangement would risk being unhealthy. Because many times reality comes crashing in and people get hurt because what the wanted to believe what that thought was not reality. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Bus Station Posted July 23, 2014 Share Posted July 23, 2014 As long as he's not an underwear model ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nihil Obstat Posted July 23, 2014 Share Posted July 23, 2014 The one thing you wont ever have to experience is the seclusion and loneliness that Tardis experiences since you are already in happy relationship with someone you love and care for. So I wouldnt jump too far to say you two are similar. Why does everyone have so much trouble understanding how comparisons work? To compare an aspect shared by two situations is meaningful only if those two situations are in other relevant wants dissimilar. What I said was, and I quote: "there is a major similarity between a married person and a person attracted to the same sex." Frankly it is starting to bother me how often people imply that comparisons of this sort are somehow lacking if the two situations being compared are not perfectly identical in every relevant way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrossCuT Posted July 23, 2014 Share Posted July 23, 2014 I didnt say you were not similar. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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