Male Virginity! Say Whaaaat?!

[Credo in Deum]

Hello Pham,

 

I have been searching for information on what options there are for men who may not be called to the religious life, but feel called to lead a life of perpetual virginity for God.   I figured I would stop driving in circles and ask for directions -I know typical male. :hehe:

 

 

Anyone know of a good place that lists the options for men? Are there any options? I know women can become consecrated virgins, but this is only for women.  How would a man do something similar?

 

 

Does this make any sense at all?

 

 

 

[beatitude]

There are some secular institutes for men. A few are listed here. Members make vows of poverty, chastity, and obedience, but continue to live in their own homes and to do their usual jobs rather than being together in a physical community, although they will meet together from time to time for prayer and fellowship. They don't wear anything to differentiate them from the people around them. Each institute has its own spirituality - Passionist, Franciscan, etc. I don't know if this is what you are looking for.

[krissylou]

Well there's the diocesean priesthood but you already know that exists.

 

I've known a permanent deacon who was single.  For him, becoming a permanent deacon meant taking on a promise of celibacy.  (While  married men may be ordained deacons, someone who is a deacon may not subsequently marry.  So if a married deacon is widowed, he ordinarily may not remarry.  And someone who is ordained a deacon while single promises to remain celibate.)

 

Diocesean hermit?

 

Private vows?

[oremus1]

I think it depends WHY you feel called to it. What theological reason I mean.

[Sponsa-Christi]

Consecrated virginity per se really is a specifically feminine vocation, just like priesthood is a specifically masculine one.

 

I second Oremus' suggestion of trying to nail down exactly why you feel called to this. Is it because you're drawn to a spirituality of virginity? Or because you feel called to a specific lifestyle? Or because you want to live a dedicated life, but neither priesthood nor religious life seems to "fit"?

 

Also, I think Krissylou had a good idea in suggesting you look into the celibate permanent diaconate. In my opinion, this is a much under-appreciated vocation!

[oremus1]

The reason I asked why is because (oremus musings only - not authoritative ):

>He feels sanctified by work in the world and wants to devote to God in that way?: consider Opus Dei (supernumeries??)
 

>He wants to remain in the world but belong only to God, and witness as hidden leaven: Secular institute?

>He feels called to a charism, but is not suitable (e.g. age/infirmity) for OR does not feel called to be apart form the world in a priestly or >brotherly vocation: consider third order or oblates or confraternity with private vow?

>He feels called to belong only to God but not live in community, he is edified by silence and solitude: hermits - lay or consecrated (CIC 603)

>He feels to belong only to God but live and work in the world, and does not identify with any charism of existing secular institutes or third orders? Consider private vows

> He feels to belong only to God and wishes to live the evangelical counsels more radically but only loosely with others - consider eremetical communities

Edited July 23, 2014 by oremus1

[krissylou]

Also there's a difference between virginity and celibacy (whatever happened before, I promise to remain celibate from here on out).

 

Lots of vocations involve celibacy.  As far as I know, CVs are the only one that require physical virginity.  Many people who make promises/vows of celibacy are also virgins, of course, but not necessarily.  So, for instance, someone who is widowed (and didn't have children or whose children are grown and independent) could be a nun or a monk or a priest or a hermit or in a secular institute or all sorts of things, but not a consecrated virgin.

 

So if you're talking about celibacy, there are a bunch of paths that would include that.  If you feel particularly called to some offering of VIRGINITY per se, as far as I know the avenue for that for a man would be a private vow.  

[marigold]

Only half-joking when I say - of course there are options. You just don't get married, don't become a monk, friar or priest, and don't have sex. For the rest, you're free as a bird. And I imagine that could be a very liberated way to live for someone who really chooses it wholeheartedly.

[Sponsa-Christi]

Also there's a difference between virginity and celibacy (whatever happened before, I promise to remain celibate from here on out).

 

Lots of vocations involve celibacy.  As far as I know, CVs are the only one that require physical virginity.  Many people who make promises/vows of celibacy are also virgins, of course, but not necessarily.  So, for instance, someone who is widowed (and didn't have children or whose children are grown and independent) could be a nun or a monk or a priest or a hermit or in a secular institute or all sorts of things, but not a consecrated virgin.

 

So if you're talking about celibacy, there are a bunch of paths that would include that.  If you feel particularly called to some offering of VIRGINITY per se, as far as I know the avenue for that for a man would be a private vow.  

 

On this note, I think there might be some religious communities or other institutes of consecrated life that have a spirituality of virginity (but without requiring literal virginity).

 

Off the top of my head, the Brothers of St. John strive to relate to Jesus as the Beloved Disciple did, and St. John the Apostle was traditionally considered to be a life-long virgin. The Spiritual Family "The Work" ("Das Werk") has "virginal love" as part of their charism. Also, St. Dominic is honored as a virgin, and I believe the Dominicans value spiritual virginity as a virtue.

[oremus1]

On this note, I think there might be some religious communities or other institutes of consecrated life that have a spirituality of virginity (but without requiring literal virginity).

 

Off the top of my head, the Brothers of St. John strive to relate to Jesus as the Beloved Disciple did, and St. John the Apostle was traditionally considered to be a life-long virgin. The Spiritual Family "The Work" ("Das Werk") has "virginal love" as part of their charism. Also, St. Dominic is honored as a virgin, and I believe the Dominicans value spiritual virginity as a virtue.

i think it is important to note that 'fornication' is a grave matter, so many communities talk about 'virginal love' they are basing it on the premise that one is a virgin or one is married. as opposed to virginal spirituality vs celibacy.

 

and besides ALL priests and religous men wish to imitate Jesus, whether they are virgins or celibate

 

for the CV i know there is a major thing about virginal spitiuality rather than vowed celibacy. but for other vocations certainly for men, i dont see that there needs to be much of a distinction in relation to their spirituality. .

 

for the OP i am guessing he is using virginity and lifelong celibacy as something he feels called to interchangable simply because he has not fornicated and has never been married, rahter than a spirituality that is virginal as opposed to celibate

[cmaD2006]

Also there's a difference between virginity and celibacy (whatever happened before, I promise to remain celibate from here on out).

 

Lots of vocations involve celibacy.  As far as I know, CVs are the only one that require physical virginity.  Many people who make promises/vows of celibacy are also virgins, of course, but not necessarily.  So, for instance, someone who is widowed (and didn't have children or whose children are grown and independent) could be a nun or a monk or a priest or a hermit or in a secular institute or all sorts of things, but not a consecrated virgin.

 

So if you're talking about celibacy, there are a bunch of paths that would include that.  If you feel particularly called to some offering of VIRGINITY per se, as far as I know the avenue for that for a man would be a private vow.  

 

Krissylou ... I believe that there are a few religious communities (cloistered) that may require virginity.  If my memory serves correctly these communities add the consecration of virgins to their vows (or something of the sort).

 

I don't have a specific order in mind, but I do remember finding out that there are a few.  But most don't.

 

I don't remember running into a secular institute that required virginity, however I have seen some that require members not to be married (and they take some sort of promise of celibacy).

 

As far as "virginity" for a man -- well, it really is just an extension of celibacy.  I do agree (I think someone said it) that the concept of virginity in the Church is really a concept for women. 

 

And for men -- well again you have Holy Orders (which women are not able to do in any form), for in Holy Orders a man takes on the essence of Christ when performing actions in the name of the Church.  Not the same as "virginity" but separate and distinct.

[Credo in Deum]

Thank you everyone for your helpful information and responses. I ask the question because while I feel called to religious life, I am fully aware that I could not be called. I'm an adult male that has -through God's grace- been able to stay a virgin, and in my heart I feel called to stay a virgin and to offer this to God. I was just interested to know if there are apostolates for men who have a similar calling. I know one option is to live a single life, however it is always nice to be able to have the support of those who are doing the same thing.

[cmaD2006]

Thank you everyone for your helpful information and responses. I ask the question because while I feel called to religious life, I am fully aware that I could not be called. I'm an adult male that has -through God's grace- been able to stay a virgin, and in my heart I feel called to stay a virgin and to offer this to God. I was just interested to know if there are apostolates for men who have a similar calling. I know one option is to live a single life, however it is always nice to be able to have the support of those who are doing the same thing.

 

There may be a secular institute that are for single men who choose to stay celibate (akin to a woman staying celibate and not marrying, but not virginity per se).  There is a website for secular institutes (if someone can post it that would be really cool).  That website may have more particulars.

[cmaD2006]

Oh and I did forget to mention -- I don't know the male communites well, but there may very well be religious communities out there that are of brothers, and that do not ordain their members.

[twohearts]

The book "Religious Ministries" offers information for men & women on the Priesthood, Sisterhood, Brotherhood, Secular Insititutes, some Third Orders & Oblates,

and other apostolic activities. You can also find an online site w/that same information: Religious Ministries.com