'coming Out' About Religious Life.

[Catherine Mectilde]

Since I began the discernment process, I've strongly gravitated towards faithful Catholics. As a result, I sometimes I forget how radical and extreme religious life seems to the general population because it has become an obvious and seemingly natural choice to me!

 

I keep finding myself brushing over visits I make to convents to people who don't have faith or are very casual about it (trying to make visits sound like short holidays or retreats). I'm due to make a longer visit to one in September and I'm trying to keep it as quiet as possible in my wider circle and I'm bordering on being downright dishonest at times.

 

I'm trying to keep the pressure off myself so I can make good decisions rather than fearful ones, but should I try to get over this? If I am to enter somewhere, I'm tempted not to make it known very publicly until after postulancy - even more strain for my poor parents who aren't sure what to say to who.

 

Of course every case is different, but any thoughts or experiences would be really appreciated.

 

 

[maximillion]

This topic comes up quite often, to tell or not to tell?

 

Try looking  here http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/topic/133931-do-you-tell-strangers-about-wanting-to-enter-religious-life/

[1054]

I'm sorry to hear this is causing you stress.  It can be difficult knowing how to handle these situations.  Trying to balance being a witness to the faith with the idea of "pearls before swine" is certainly a struggle I think every Christian has.  Generally when talking with those openly opposed to the faith (or at best lukewarm) I would avoid saying more than you have to.  Especially when going through discernment I personally don't see a reason to bring about more hardship.  Trust me -- you'll face enough regardless! 
Keeping you in my prayers.  :heart:

[cmaD2006]

Welcome to Phatmass Catherine Mectilde! :)

[Feankie]

I second the welcome!! There are a great number of knowledgeable, faith-filled people here who will share in this (and other) discussion. Hope you'll "pop in" often :)

[brandelynmarie]

:welcome: It is a hard thing to figure out, to tell or not tell. Last night at work, I told a fellow coworker & he thought I was joking! His reaction---> rotfl Once he figured out I was serious, he became embarrassed :blush:. Poor guy. I got a good chuckle out of his reaction & asked him to pray for me, which he readily agreed to. :hehe2:

Edited July 17, 2014 by brandelynmarie

[domenica_therese]

My experience "Coming Out" at a very Catholic University was extremely positive, but I definitely worried a lot before I did it about whether I would be treated differently as a result, and whether this imaginary barrier would pop up between me and my classmates as a result of it. All my worries proved to be quite unfounded. In fact, my openness about the vocation proved very unitive, and a lot of people confided in me or asked for my prayers who I had hardly known before. While it is sometimes prudent to keep one's vocation to oneself, one can take prudence to an extreme and use it as a cover for what is actually cowardice. The most beautiful thing about being "out" was coming to appreciate and see how my vocation truly was "not about me" and ended up being a huge gift to my community. It was a blessing to them to allow them to share in and celebrate my joy.

 

Granted, all of this happened after I had already received my acceptance letter from my community approving me to enter the postulancy this August. I was accepted way back in September, so that long of a waiting period is definitely unique.

[Feankie]

And August is just around the proverbial "corner" !!!!

[TheresaThoma]

If was becoming more and more obvious typically I would tell someone. Such as with my coworkers, I worked with a rather small group of people (some Catholic some not) and most of them figured it out on their own. I was pleasantly surprised at how supportive they were, even if they didn't completely understand it they become a huge source of support.

[Spem in alium]

Welcome!
I'm potentially looking at an October entrance date and have started to tell more people. My immediate family know, as do some of my extended family and close friends, but I'm keeping fairly closed about it with people unless they particularly ask - I'm somewhat private. This week I've shared my news a couple of times. Yesterday, someone from my parish asked me if I would like to volunteer in a particular ministry again next year, and I said I'll probably be living in a different area by then. My mother was with me, and she started saying, "Go on, Spem, tell ----- what you're planning to do!", so of course I had to spill the beans. I think once I get more definite with the application and everything, I'll probably start sharing more freely - but don't think I'll readily make it public on social media or anything. Others I know have done that, but it's not really my cup of tea at the moment.

[chrysostom]

Catherine Mectilde, welcome!  Such a cool username - Mother Mectilde is AWESOME and I love what she has done for the Church.

 

I think that it's good to be aware of the potential negative effects broadcasting your religious discernment could have - such as putting more pressure on yourself than need be - but since you are aware you have already won half the battle.

 

If you choose to tell, you can stress the provisional nature of your discernment - that it's certainly possible that you will not enter religious life after all.  That's the line I've usually taken if I do ever mention my nascent religious discernment.

 

You always have the option to let people know that you are going somewhere for personal reasons you can't discuss right now (or using some other expression like that).

 

Prayers for you, and may Jesus and Mary keep you.

[BarbTherese]

It can be difficult 'coming out' I know....very difficult.  And prayer for those who do or are thinking about it - for those who might be suffering for having come out.  It is almost criteria for good discipleship to suffer because of Jesus "Remember my word that I said to you: The servant is not greater than his master. If they have persecuted me, they will also persecute you"(John Ch15)  But apply wisdom and prudence too before making big decisions or 'dicey' decisions :)  Best of all consult one's spiritual director, if one has one.  If not, trust in The Lord completely will never ever lead one astray.

 

Coming out could be considered as planting a seed - and who knows where it goes from there.  Perhaps into bad weedy soil, perhaps into rocky soil, perhaps into good soil. Matthew Ch13 V18 HERE  It can be a pebble dropped into a pool and with that effect and one might never see its effect and probably best if one does not seek to do so.

 

"Lord give success to the work of our hands" (Psalm 90) .....translated also "give success to what we do".

 

[BarbTherese]

Catherine Mectilde, welcome!  Such a cool username - Mother Mectilde is amesome and I love what she has done for the Church.

 

I think that it's good to be aware of the potential negative effects broadcasting your religious discernment could have - such as putting more pressure on yourself than need be - but since you are aware you have already won half the battle.

 

If you choose to tell, you can stress the provisional nature of your discernment - that it's certainly possible that you will not enter religious life after all.  That's the line I've usually taken if I do ever mention my nascent religious discernment.

 

You always have the option to let people know that you are going somewhere for personal reasons you can't discuss right now (or using some other expression like that).

 

Prayers for you, and may Jesus and Mary keep you.

 

Well said.  I am out of props for today.

[marigold]

Welcome Catherine Mectilde! I don't have any advice - but I'm going through the same thing. I work for an Orthodox family but almost everyone else I meet day-to-day is pretty anti-Christian. This week I've had a couple of conversations with people who know I'm leaving/"thinking of leaving" my job and I was vague to the point of dishonesty about my plans. I felt uncomfortable about it but I would have felt more uncomfortable explaining the whats and whys of Orthodox monastic life in a noisy play group.

Don't even get me started on my family :)