How Did You Decide Which Orders To Visit And/or Enter?

[oremus1]

There are so many orders to choose from, and for those of you who work, not much time to visit more than say 4 a year.

 

I see the broad headings Contemplative or Active

 

Then perhaps for those of you with specific spirituality - Benedictine, Franciscan, Carmelite etc

 

For active orders, a range of different work.

 

how did you narrow it further to decide who to visit?

 

how did you decide the final one?

 

are you a nun now?

 

for those of you who tried but did not become a nun, why?

[Feankie]

Are you doing research for a book/paper? Just asking as you seem to me to be asking very broad-based questions. If you areindeed a discerner I would think you would have already nailed down some of the more basic questions you're asking. I only ask as I am a trained spiritual director and feel some red flags going up, not only with this thread but the others you
have started. It seems (IMHO) you are coming on gangbusters with the number of threads you've started asking for information. I'm not being confrontational, it's simply how I'm feeling.

Edited July 15, 2014 by Francis Clare

[oremus1]

Are you doing research for a book/paper? Just asking as you seem to me to be asking very broad-based questions. If you areindeed a discerner I would think you would have already nailed down some of the more basic questions you're asking. I only ask as I am a trained spiritual director and feel some red flags going up, not only with this thread but the others you
have started. It seems (IMHO) you are coming on gangbusters with the number of threads you've started asking for information. I'm not being confrontational, it's simply how I'm feeling.

 

are you a priest? a nun? then how are you a spiritual director? do you mean you are a psychologist? have you been to seminary?

 

in the world there are not that many people wanting to become priests or nuns. even in traditional parishes, maybe one priest but no nuns.

 

everyone only wants to be married. so if I want to chat to other discerners, or ex-nuns or even current nuns very informally, here is the place.

 

why cant I ask other people about their stories?

 

 

[Sister Marie]

are you a priest? a nun? then how are you a spiritual director? do you mean you are a psychologist? have you been to seminary?

 

in the world there are not that many people wanting to become priests or nuns. even in traditional parishes, maybe one priest but no nuns.

 

everyone only wants to be married. so if I want to chat to other discerners, or ex-nuns or even current nuns very informally, here is the place.

 

why cant I ask other people about their stories?

 

 

You don't have to be a priest or religious to be a spiritual director.  You don't have to go to the seminary to be a spiritual director either.  There are many spiritual direction programs of study.  Many of these are full graduate programs from Catholic colleges and universities which are open to lay, religious, or ordained who feel called to help others in their spiritual journey.  

[Kayte Postle]

To your original questions I think it is a matter of prayer, research, prayer, knowledge of self, and more prayer.

 

When I started trying to narrow down communities I read a lot about different spiritualities to see which ones appealed to me, and fit my personality. I also examined what gifts and talents God has given me, what type of activities I enjoy, and what causes I have a heart for. This helped me to narrow down the kind of apostolates would be right for me.  I also went on a couple of nun runs, spent time volunteering for a local religious community, and spent a summer volunteering with the Little Sisters of the Poor. These experiences helped me to get a casual feel for how each community lived, and the kind of things I wanted in a community.

 

All these things were taken on with prayer. Always coming back to Christ, and asking Him what His will for me was. He was quite good at pointing me in the proper direction for each step. I'm still in the contacting communities phase, so I don't have much advice in making the final decision.

[freedomreigns]

For me, when I entered the community I eventually left a few years later, it was a matter of feeling very much at home with the sisters and with their charism.  I had visited a different community a few months before, and had planned to go back for another visit.  Once I visited the other one, however, I knew there was no need to go back to visit the first.  I had found my home.  At least for a season!  :)

 

I think one could narrow it down a bit with the help of a spiritual director and then begin to visit until one "clicks."  Just listen for the Voice of Christ, He is the One Who calls to us and says, "Come Follow Me..."

 

Also, lay people can indeed be spiritual directors.  It is really important to find a spiritual director with good training, (formal or informal in some cases,) in how to guide souls, no matter what that person's station in life may be.  Being a lay person, however, does not disqualify one from having that training.  (Actually, even further, being a priest or a religious does not assure that one is qualified as a spiritual director.)  

 

I am personally blessed with a wonderful director who is also a priest. 

[oremus1]

To your original questions I think it is a matter of prayer, research, prayer, knowledge of self, and more prayer.

 

When I started trying to narrow down communities I read a lot about different spiritualities to see which ones appealed to me, and fit my personality. I also examined what gifts and talents God has given me, what type of activities I enjoy, and what causes I have a heart for. This helped me to narrow down the kind of apostolates would be right for me.  I also went on a couple of nun runs, spent time volunteering for a local religious community, and spent a summer volunteering with the Little Sisters of the Poor. These experiences helped me to get a casual feel for how each community lived, and the kind of things I wanted in a community.

 

All these things were taken on with prayer. Always coming back to Christ, and asking Him what His will for me was. He was quite good at pointing me in the proper direction for each step. I'm still in the contacting communities phase, so I don't have much advice in making the final decision.

wow thanks this is really helpful!! A great idea! (am out of props though)

[Spem in alium]

To your original questions I think it is a matter of prayer, research, prayer, knowledge of self, and more prayer.

 

When I started trying to narrow down communities I read a lot about different spiritualities to see which ones appealed to me, and fit my personality. I also examined what gifts and talents God has given me, what type of activities I enjoy, and what causes I have a heart for. This helped me to narrow down the kind of apostolates would be right for me.  I also went on a couple of nun runs, spent time volunteering for a local religious community, and spent a summer volunteering with the Little Sisters of the Poor. These experiences helped me to get a casual feel for how each community lived, and the kind of things I wanted in a community.

 

All these things were taken on with prayer. Always coming back to Christ, and asking Him what His will for me was. He was quite good at pointing me in the proper direction for each step. I'm still in the contacting communities phase, so I don't have much advice in making the final decision.

 

Essentially this. :) I'm applying to enter an order, and in my discernment I took into account their spirituality, apostolate, reflection of Christ, relationships with each other, and my own gifts and capabilities. I also visited and communicated with other orders during my discernment process, which helped me to narrow down. Also, having some kind of direction (spiritual direction or spiritual accompaniment; I've had both) also was really useful.

 

Prayer and slow movement definitely have helped; I've learnt through discernment that it's very important not to rush things, and while things have of late been happening fairly quickly for me my discernment process has for the most part been gradual. This is, I believe, the key - not pushing anything, learning slowly, and always taking the time to reflect, pray and return to Christ, seeking Him and His will in all things.

[Feankie]

No, I am not a a nun or a priest. I do hold a B.A. in Theology, a M.A. in Pastoral Theology, and a D.Min. in Applied Ministry. I have also completed a 3 year certificate program in Spiritual Direction and have been certified. All courses of study have been at Roman Catholic institutions.
Sorry if I ruffled any feathers, but as a S.D. I tend to look for the meaning/reasons behind the questions.

[emma8201986]

I agree with Spem -but let me add one more - and this may sound awful to some of you, so my apologies.  Initially, I started discerning with a community that I really liked - their VD was terrific and I liked their apostolate (teaching) and commmunity spirit.  As I learned more about them, however, I discovered that their politics and mine were very different.  They have signficant outreach to the Hispanic community (no problems there) but they also support "social justice" and believe that illegal immigrants should be granted amnesty.  Some sisters have marched in gatherings supporting amnesty.   Please let's not start a discussion here about amnesty - that's not my intent.  My point is that I don't agree with this position and quickly realized I just would not fit in.  After that I began to pay more attention to this issue.  Clearly, there is diversity of political views among members of a community but when a certain view on one issue seems pervasive, and it doesn't coincide with a discerner's views, she should proceed with caution.