Why Enter Religious Life?

[Sister Marie]

Sister, for me, there were a combination of factors. 

 

I desire intimacy with God more than I could possibly articulate. I'm afraid I'm not holy enough for this to be a disinterested desire, as in the motive being completely for God's sake. I DO love Him, very much, but it is not the pure and truly selfless love that I hope it will someday be. I really do long for the wondrous gift of union with Him for my own benefit too. Perhaps a little too stuck in philio... although we see in St. Peter that philio can become agape, if we follow our Lord's invitation to be led and to give ourselves over to Him. (c.f. Jn 21:15-19). 

 

The fact of the matter is that when I first TRULY gave my own small "yes" to Him, irrevocably and without reserve, this was done at the foot of the 10th Station of the Cross. Jesus is stripped of His garments. He had already sweated blood, had more beaten out of Him, been spat upon and mocked and stripped of the dignity that was His due, and yet He sought to give more. He allowed the very clothes to be stripped from His back. No doubt due to His scourge wounds, his clothes had stuck on to His skin and when they were torn from Him, the new scabbing was reopened and His flesh was torn from His back as well. 

 

On that day as I was praying the 10th Station, a deeper understanding than I had prior of the sheer totality of His gift to me finally penetrated my rocky heart. I was moved to respond with an undivided heart, love for Love, my life for Life Himself. His gift was both an irresistible and terrifying invitation all at once to REALLY follow Him. In so doing, perhaps the intimate union I so desire can come to pass... but for HIS sake. 

 

[I answer as one who entered and returned to the world... without revoking that "yes." I don't know what the "yes" means, but I DO know that His calling me back out here was NOT tantamount to throwing my "yes" back in my face. No, He still invites me to live that commitment and give without holding back. Still trying to figure out what THAT means now, but that's as far as the understanding He has given me will take me at present. As far as I'm concerned, my "yes" is still in force. So I think I'm still qualified to answer the question from that perspective :) ]

 

Wow, Catherine, thank you for these beautiful thoughts.  I bolded a few things that really struck me!

 

I always try to remind myself, when I feel discouraged that I'm not there yet, that I won't be there until I die.  What we strive for is something we can't accomplish until we get to the Kingdom.  Everyone will always have something lacking in that selfless and pure love until eternity.  It comforts me to know that in the end, God is the one who does it in me.  I cooperate in free will, but it is God's power and love that matter in his free gift of his life for me.  

 

I am sure your last paragraph is important for anyone who has entered and left to read.  The "yes" is never negated by what happens in the future.  God bless you!

[Sister Marie]

  I have been considering a religious life off an on at least since highschool, I didn't really give a serious thought until I was laid off back in 09 and after being in the army and trying the civilian life out for awhile, I started realizing the only thing I really found true peace was at mass,  I get and still do get distracted during mass and in adoration, but the fact is, since I was baptized as a child I have always been catholic, an will always be a practicing one, no matter how my attitude fluxes, so I send out an email one day asking the diocese about a retreat for those discerning and next thing I know I am talking to a vocations director who is very kind, and trust worthy, but a major odd ball too, and I was getting a different view of the priesthood, and seminary life, I figured it was a good time to really put in an application and unfortunately I had no idea what I was doing. And I have expressed this journey in another thread, but what I learned is I do not have to be a priest or a religious to serve Christ, and more over a no at this point in time to the Priesthood did not mean a no forever, the only truth I can take from my experience is I was just not ready and it hurt a lot to be rejected, and I am still healing to a degree from it. And it wasn't even a rejection from God or Christ, I took a big step that some may never take and should, and chances are I am going to try again once I finish college and take care of some family issues here at home..  I think deep down I know I am being called to serve Christ in the Church as some kind of religious, be it a priest or brother or monk,  in this big family I just have to figure out where I fit.  And seeing how not everyone in every family gets a long or even agrees with each other all the time, that is hard to digest sometimes in the realm of the Catholic family.

 

 

And the reason, other than having this pesky notion pop up in my head periodically in my life,  Christ has done so much for me I can not begin and realizing how my guardian angel and others in heaven have heard my prayers, I started seeing how real Christ has been in my life and my relationship with Him keeps growing and I want to show that love back to Christ by serving Him, and taking the hardships and pains I have gone through and finding those who have or are going through similar and to bring Christ to them some how and help them out of the misery they are in.  I don't want to sit on the sidelines any more.

 

It certainly is not a rejection from God and I'm so glad you realize that and can articulate it to everyone else here because there might be someone around who has been rejected and thinks it is their fault or is letting it become a wedge in his or her relationship with God.  It's great that you can acknowledge that you 1) aren't ready, 2) still feel hurt (emotions are good), and 3) haven't been rejected by God.  I think it is hard sometimes when discerning, being in formation, or living religious life (or priesthood in this case) to separate the way God feels about you from the practical directives, corrections, rejections, and other hurts that occur in this life.  When I am corrected or misunderstood or hurt, I always have to remember that God is in the midst of it but God is not the cause of it.  The way God feels for me hasn't changed from the minute before the incident to the minute after.  

 

You are correct that not everyone in the family will get along - in the big family of the church or in the smaller families of religious communities.  What I have found is that the ideas and thoughts that I am most resistant to in community are usually places that I am in need of healing, growth, or change of some kind.  What I think I have realized is that, when saying who we are (as a community in my case), the answer has to be an incorporation of who each member is.  The charism is not an external motto or list of virtues - it is a lived reality and it is lived individually in the heart of each member.  All the good there is must be held closely and we have to understand that each of us is lacking and is out-right wrong at various points.  None of us have the answer but all of us together hold the pieces of a very messy and inarticulate truth.

 

God bless you. 

[freedomreigns]

For me when I left religious life it did seem very much like a rejection, that I had offered everything and the gift of myself was not accepted.  Sometimes part of me still reacts against the language we often use of "wanting to give everything to God" and thus religious life being one's vocation.  I am still trying to reconcile with this experience years and years later, although I have much more peace as of late.

 

So, I think when one is discerning religious life the question should be "Is God calling me to give myself to Him in this way?  Or in another way?"  Because self-donation is actually not optional for any Christian.  I do still deep down feel that religious life is the most beautiful life ever this side of heaven and wish that I could have such a special vocation.  But I'm not called.  It still makes me sad.  I am just trying to somehow love and serve God and reject the self-pity that can go along with the twists and turns of my life.

[krissylou]

 

So, I think when one is discerning religious life the question should be "Is God calling me to give myself to Him in this way?  Or in another way?"  

 

Yes!  This!

[petitpèlerin]

Sometimes part of me still reacts against the language we often use of "wanting to give everything to God" and thus religious life being one's vocation.  I am still trying to reconcile with this experience years and years later, although I have much more peace as of late.

 

So, I think when one is discerning religious life the question should be "Is God calling me to give myself to Him in this way?  Or in another way?"  Because self-donation is actually not optional for any Christian.

 

Thank you for saying this. This has been the major point of struggle in my own discernment. People talk about "giving your life to God" and I'm like "yes, whatever vocation I live will be with the intention of giving my life to God, so does he want me to do it alone and in community, or in and with a man?" Because when the spiritual reality of marriage is really lived it's mind-blowing, and I think most married people never see it that way, never realize how they're called to God in and with their spouse. But as much as I would like to be married, I don't believe I'm called to it. It's funny, I feel the same way about it as you feel about religious life. I think it's the most beautiful thing and I'm sad I'm not called to it.

Edited July 18, 2014 by petitpèlerin

[TheresaThoma]

I met with someone who will be helping me with my discernment journey and the one thing that she asked me to do before our next meeting is to write down why I feel called to religious life and to the community I am discerning with specifically.

Its been a very good exercise for me to have to solidly list out my reasons. She encouraged me to include everything from the internals to the externals.

(The other part was to write down any questions or concerns that I still have).

[Sister Marie]

I met with someone who will be helping me with my discernment journey and the one thing that she asked me to do before our next meeting is to write down why I feel called to religious life and to the community I am discerning with specifically.
Its been a very good exercise for me to have to solidly list out my reasons. She encouraged me to include everything from the internals to the externals.
(The other part was to write down any questions or concerns that I still have).

That sounds like a very interesting exercise... I wonder if you can vaguely share how she uses your list for discernment when you next meet so others might benefit from the exercise...

I love your Pedro Arrupe quote! I have a caligraphied copy of that prayer hanging in my bedroom. I think it probably sums up the answer to this thread pretty well and also the answer to why anyone would radically give their life to God (in any state of life).

[Sister Marie]

Here is the entire text for anyone interested!

Fall in Love
Attributed to Fr. Pedro Arrupe, SJ (1907–1991)

Nothing is more practical than
finding God, than
falling in Love
in a quite absolute, final way.
What you are in love with,
what seizes your imagination, will affect everything.
It will decide
what will get you out of bed in the morning,
what you do with your evenings,
how you spend your weekends,
what you read, whom you know,
what breaks your heart,
and what amazes you with joy and gratitude.
Fall in Love, stay in love,
and it will decide everything.

From Finding God in All Things: A Marquette Prayer Book © 2009 Marquette University Press. Used with permission.

- See more at: http://www.ignatianspirituality.com/ignatian-prayer/prayers-by-st-ignatius-and-others/fall-in-love/#sthash.ib3yHlKN.dpuf

[1054]

Here is the entire text for anyone interested!

Fall in Love
Attributed to Fr. Pedro Arrupe, SJ (1907–1991)

Nothing is more practical than
finding God, than
falling in Love
in a quite absolute, final way.
What you are in love with,
what seizes your imagination, will affect everything.
It will decide
what will get you out of bed in the morning,
what you do with your evenings,
how you spend your weekends,
what you read, whom you know,
what breaks your heart,
and what amazes you with joy and gratitude.
Fall in Love, stay in love,
and it will decide everything.

From Finding God in All Things: A Marquette Prayer Book © 2009 Marquette University Press. Used with permission.

- See more at: http://www.ignatianspirituality.com/ignatian-prayer/prayers-by-st-ignatius-and-others/fall-in-love/#sthash.ib3yHlKN.dpuf

 

Thank you for this!!!

[TheresaThoma]

I will definitely let you all know how it goes. I meet with her on the 28th.

[SilentJoy]

 I'm interested to hear in one sentence why any of you wish to be religious.

To take care of the Monastery; to serve the Sisters; to live with the Eucharist.

 

My vocation is Dog; I have to work and be helpful, to stay and love and give my life (and to never pee on the carpet... :hehe2: ) On Good Friday I sat near the empty tabernacle because that is where the dog should be if it's master isn't home, and I understood that whatever I pursued in life, it would ideally have to include those three, yet I was not necessarily supposed to be a nun. I thought that was odd because you need to be a nun to do those things. I had too much anxiety over the thought of entering a community with the hope of becoming a nun, in spite of the fact that I wanted to live the life with all of my heart and had been discerning for a few years. I did not realize that it was still possible to enter a community as a Lay-Sister (I thought that vocation had expired around Vatican 2); I am delighted at the prospect of becoming a Lay-Sister instead, and it is refreshing to have only normal little anxieties now and then for a change.

Edited September 10, 2014 by SilentJoy

[Graciela]

Wow! I also thought that the lay-sister category was eliminated after VatII. What community/-ties still have it?

[marigold]

To take care of the Monastery; to serve the Sisters; to live with the Eucharist.

My vocation is Dog; I have to work and be helpful, to stay and love and give my life (and to never pee on the carpet... :hehe2: ) On Good Friday I sat near the empty tabernacle because that is where the dog should be if it's master isn't home, and I understood that whatever I pursued in life, it would ideally have to include those three, yet I was not necessarily supposed to be a nun. I thought that was odd because you need to be a nun to do those things. I had too much anxiety over the thought of entering a community with the hope of becoming a nun, in spite of the fact that I wanted to live the life with all of my heart and had been discerning for a few years. I did not realize that it was still possible to enter a community as a Lay-Sister (I thought that vocation had expired around Vatican 2); I am delighted at the prospect of becoming a Lay-Sister instead, and it is refreshing to have only normal little anxieties now and then for a change.

I think this is an unusual and beautiful vocation and I hope God blesses you in it.

[SilentJoy]

Wow! I also thought that the lay-sister category was eliminated after VatII. What community/-ties still have it?

From the very little I've learned so far, it is more of a Benedictine (Cistercian, Trappist, etc.) thing and it is more common in Europe than America. Their lay-Sister is referred to as a Regular, or Internal, Oblate. In a way, it is their version of an extern Sister.

[puellapaschalis]

But lay sisters are different to extern sisters. Or is that not what you mean?