Why Enter Religious Life?

[Sister Marie]

I think most of us have heard something similar to the two reasons I'm about to write for entering religious life - 1. For the salvation of ones own soul and 2. For the salvation of the souls of as many others as possible. Even if expressed in different words, this is the kernel of a vocation to religious life.

I'm wondering if anyone is willing to share their personal interest in religious life as a way of Christian life... Acknowledging the above purpose but looking to ones personal call, the reasons for entering religious life are varied and I'm interested to hear in one sentence why any of you wish to be religious. When answering think about what area of religious life speaks most clearly to you... Why?

I would think there would be no right or wrong answers to this but lots of food for thought. Thank you in advance for your answers!

[Blue.Rose]

For me, I have desire to be in Religious life through love of God and I desire for souls to be saved.

This Bible verse really spoke to me when Jesus said in John 15:13
"No one can have greater love than to lay down his life for his friends."

[veritasluxmea]

Funny you'd ask this. Actually it's been on my mind for the past year or so. (Now I can't speak for everyone... and it's ((really!)) difficult to explain in a sentence, so it's not at all complete, but I'll do my best.) Why would I want to enter religious life? From a lot of different perspectives it seems crazy. Living in community, habits, daily schedule, who sisters are... from a "normal" perspective it's just plain crazy. Why would I want to enter religious life?

 

In a sentence, I want to enter religious life because I fell in love. Religious life is simply the natural expression of that love. It's ordering my life towards that love. Everything from "the harvest is great" to "sell everything you have" is just the result of that love. Yeah, it's "crazy"- but I guess a crazy love results in a crazy life. Or as I see it, an amesome love results in an amesome life. 

 

(Edit: Ok something is wrong with phatmass and it won't correct "amesome"? lol weird.)

Edited July 12, 2014 by veritasluxmea

[AccountDeleted]

I think most of us have heard something similar to the two reasons I'm about to write for entering religious life - 1. For the salvation of ones own soul and 2. For the salvation of the souls of as many others as possible. Even if expressed in different words, this is the kernel of a vocation to religious life.

I'm wondering if anyone is willing to share their personal interest in religious life as a way of Christian life... Acknowledging the above purpose but looking to ones personal call, the reasons for entering religious life are varied and I'm interested to hear in one sentence why any of you wish to be religious. When answering think about what area of religious life speaks most clearly to you... Why?

I would think there would be no right or wrong answers to this but lots of food for thought. Thank you in advance for your answers!

 

 

Sr Marie- this is an excellent question but I'm not really sure I have an answer for myself. I wanted to be a nun long before I ever became a Catholic so my reasons at that time certainly had nothing to do with either my salvation or anyone else's! In fact, I didn't even know what salvation meant. The first time I ever saw a nun though (I was with a Catholic friend) I thought this woman was an angel (pre Vatican 2 all dressed in white). I asked who she was and my friend explained that a nun is married to God and works for Him - and at that moment, I just knew that when I grew up I would become one.

 

But not being Catholic, it wasn't until I was in my 20s though and was working with the Missionaries of Charity as a volunteer in Melbourne for awhile that I seriously thought about joining a community. When I asked the superior if I could become a part of their community, she very gently explained to me that I had to be a Catholic before I could become a nun. I didn't even know what that meant since I had been raised an agnostic, not a Christian, and had then gone through Buddhism and Eastern mysticism. I only volunteered to work with the MCs because I admired Mother Teresa so much. Working with them and going through instruction with their priest, I slowly began to understand Catholicism.

 

Well I finally became a Catholic and I still felt a calling, but I was in the US when that happened, and I didn't know what to do about it so I started visiting convents. I still knew nothing about the reasons why one would enter religious life - it just felt like I was being called to it. But this was not long after Vat 2 and a lot of communities in the US were going through their own problems, so I couldn't find a place where it felt right and decided that I was just being silly anyway so I stopped thinking about a vocation.

 

It wasn't until about 7 years ago that I really seriously started discerning. I found a spiritual director who explained me about the different types of spirituality and charism and the difference between active and contemplative communities - and basically educated me about religious life.

 

It was around then that I also did much as veritasluxmea did - I fell in love with Jesus. That helped to explain to me why I had always felt called -- it was that old saying that God loves us before we ever love Him. It was through spiritual direction though that I realized my calling was to contemplative life and then I understood about praying for my own salvation and for the salvation of others.  

 

It hasn't been an easy journey, but then things that are really worthwhile do tend to involve effort and sacrifice. Perhaps 'being in love' and wanting to save souls are good motivating forces for entering, but as your posts have shown us, Sr Marie, its the day to day living out of one's vocation that is the real challenge. 

[BarbTherese]

The attraction for me to religious life would be that God is calling me there and one desires to embrace and to journey in His Will.  I think that for those who do want to love God with all their minds, hearts and souls - it is possibly a natural attraction towards religious life as the state of perfection raised by The Church to a special state of its own or the consecrated state of life. The Church has given this state great dignity and importance and rightly, to my mind :bible: .

I think that if you do desire to love God with all you have, what is important to Him, becomes important to oneself and is intrinsic to a real and active desire to love God and to embrace His Will as an expression of one's love.  After all, if one falls in love but is disinterested in the other's hopes and plans and desires - it would be a rather strange sort of love.

 

But I get this in full too:

Veritasluxmea posted - "Why would I want to enter religious life? From a lot of different perspectives it seems crazy. Living in community, habits, daily schedule, who sisters are... from a "normal" perspective it's just plain crazy. Why would I want to enter religious life?In a sentence, I want to enter religious life because I fell in love. Religious life is simply the natural expression of that love. It's ordering my life towards that love. Everything from "the harvest is great" to "sell everything you have" is just the result of that love. Yeah, it's "crazy"- but I guess a crazy love results in a crazy life"

 

:cheers:

Debatable too what is "crazy" and can often means that the one person's hopes and desires are totally in opposition to some other person.  Viva la difference!  

 

Paul to Thessalonians Ch3 "Now God himself and our Father, and our Lord Jesus Christ, direct our way unto you.      And may the Lord multiply you, and make you abound in charity towards one another, and towards all men: as we do also towards you,      To confirm your hearts without blame, in holiness, before God and our Father, at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ, with all his saints. Amen."

 

Back in Paul's day there was no formally consecrated life and thus no formally recognised religious way of life...............that was to unfold much further down the line. 

[maximillion]

If a reply from an ex-nun is relevant......I wanted all of Him as He had given me all of Him - my utmost for His highest.

For me it was a very personal thing, between God and me, and not initially concerned with saving souls or even praying for others, the world or whatever. It was a personal response to being loved in an ultimate, unique way.

 

I was pretty much an all or nothing type person so the longing in my spirit meant I longed to give myself totally.

 

That was it in a nutshell. I then set out to find a lifestyle that supported that possibility and found the best way was in the cloister.

 

IMO it is still the best way, I still live for Him but at a practical level in the world that is difficult, as daily life and the ways of the world tend to act as distraction and impinge. I live my Vows outside of the cloister as much as I am able to figure out how to do so.

 

Do I still experience the given- ness I experienced in the cloister? No.

[oremus1]

can i ask,

 

1) today, many women are well educated with many many skills. some are great at accounting. some are great at computers. some are good at maths. some are good at engineering. exceptionally good. and they love what they do. but most convents are either contemplative, OR active but with manual work like pottery, or nursing or teaching children only. so dont they feel their skills are wated?

 

2) what if the candidate is well educated, intelligent and loves reading and studying? dont they get frustrated and bored of not being able to do anything intellectual?

 

3) what if the convent becomes abusive toward the nun. she has nothing and so practuicaly cannot leave uinless she has a large wealthy family to get her out

 

4) what if the nuns promise you things like "if you want to do active work you can, if you want more contemplation then we can arrange that" so they give you e.g. the active work you seek until final profession. but then they make you be completely contemplative and you hate it and they lied. what happens?

 

5)what if the priest dies and a new priest comes, and the new priest is very modesrnist and makes the liturgy very jazzy and irreverent and the other nuns dont care. or what if the nuns decide to change their liturgy or office substantially, for example, discarding their habits and using an inclusive language breviary and enneagram. that might not be what you went in there for. what happens then?

Edited July 12, 2014 by oremus1

[brandelynmarie]

Oremus1, what is your personal interest in religious/consecrated life?

[BarbTherese]

can i ask,

 

1) today, many women are well educated with many many skills. some are great at accounting. some are great at computers. some are good at maths. some are good at engineering. exceptionally good. and they love what they do. but most convents are either contemplative, OR active but with manual work like pottery, or nursing or teaching children only. so dont they feel their skills are wated?

 

2) what if the candidate is well educated, intelligent and loves reading and studying? dont they get frustrated and bored of not being able to do anything intellectual?

 

3) what if the convent becomes abusive toward the nun. she has nothing and so practuicaly cannot leave uinless she has a large wealthy family to get her out

 

4) what if the nuns promise you things like "if you want to do active work you can, if you want more contemplation then we can arrange that" so they give you e.g. the active work you seek until final profession. but then they make you be completely contemplative and you hate it and they lied. what happens?

 

5)what if the priest dies and a new priest comes, and the new priest is very modesrnist and makes the liturgy very jazzy and irreverent and the other nuns dont care. or what if the nuns decide to change their liturgy or office substantially, for example, discarding their habits and using an inclusive language breviary and enneagram. that might not be what you went in there for. what happens then?

 

Dear oh dear, my goodness!  So many "what ifs".  What if a plane crashed into my home? What if I found out I had terminal cancer? What if, I broke my arm?   What if.......what if.......what if. :popcorn2:

 

Life has many what if's that actually do come about and with God's Grace and one's own application, we really do work through it all.  Case of have to.  And if one marries, more what if's.  If one stays single, more what if's.  And sure, religious life does have some what if's that do come about and more that probably don't.  And one just works through whatever and can only 'play the cards one is dealt' and that is in God's Hands entirely - we can put full trust and confidence in that and that He is with us as we work through whatever..........sorry, any and all what if's.  :)

 

"Today's (real and actual) problems are enough for today, tomorrow can care for itself"...........and what if's exist in a tomorrow if it comes and exist only in today's imagination.  ????!

Edited July 12, 2014 by BarbaraTherese

[maximillion]

Would prop BT but am out.

 

As you so clearly state, there are what if's in every lifestyle one can imagine, the convent is no different.

 

In RL there are also safeguards. The Holy Rule and the constitutions. The Church and her teachings. The local Bishop....the extraordinary confessor.

 

7-8 years of formation before final vows gives one time to see plenty of the governance, it's charitable (loving) base etc. 

 

I am not saying that there is no possibility of things going wrong - nuns are human after all. That is why there are Visitations.

 

I repeat Brandelynmarie's question to Oremus1 - what is your personal interest? Are these fears you have having discerned a call, or are you in the game of pulling apart RL and trying to expose things you imagine may be going on?

[oremus1]

Oremus1, what is your personal interest in religious/consecrated life?

 

 

I repeat Brandelynmarie's question to Oremus1 - what is your personal interest? Are these fears you have having discerned a call, or are you in the game of pulling apart RL and trying to expose things you imagine may be going on?

 

 

I am a woman in my 20s and I deeply love the Lord. I wish to be in the consecrated or religious life. I am in formation for CV vocation but i went on retreat with an eremetical order and it was actually incredible, they were kind of like in a community of hermits. now i am absolutely reserching everything possible just to be certain i am in the right vocation. i am open minded to becoming a nun if that is the Lords will. So I am picking apart all of my fears and conerns about religious life to be sure of the right call. it was wonderful spending so much time alone with the lord, working only on things of the lord, silence, solitide, all the protections for nuns, all the easy spiritual provisions, and also you are alone in a hermitage much like the CV in her hut. many CVs live very eremetical lives.  one CV candidate from the USA entered this order for the reasons i mention.

 

there are other questions too. for example, many CV say that only CV is bride of Christ, not the religious. and that CV imitate Mary alot more. and that only CV will have speical crown in heaven. and that only CV are brides of Christ in heaven in a nuptial way enduring after death and not nuns. if nuns are consecrated and are brides of Christ, then why do some orders give them the consecration of virgins several years after final profession?

 

 

[AccountDeleted]

can i ask,

 

1) today, many women are well educated with many many skills. some are great at accounting. some are great at computers. some are good at maths. some are good at engineering. exceptionally good. and they love what they do. but most convents are either contemplative, OR active but with manual work like pottery, or nursing or teaching children only. so dont they feel their skills are wated?

 

2) what if the candidate is well educated, intelligent and loves reading and studying? dont they get frustrated and bored of not being able to do anything intellectual?

 

3) what if the convent becomes abusive toward the nun. she has nothing and so practuicaly cannot leave uinless she has a large wealthy family to get her out

 

4) what if the nuns promise you things like "if you want to do active work you can, if you want more contemplation then we can arrange that" so they give you e.g. the active work you seek until final profession. but then they make you be completely contemplative and you hate it and they lied. what happens?

 

5)what if the priest dies and a new priest comes, and the new priest is very modesrnist and makes the liturgy very jazzy and irreverent and the other nuns dont care. or what if the nuns decide to change their liturgy or office substantially, for example, discarding their habits and using an inclusive language breviary and enneagram. that might not be what you went in there for. what happens then?

 

 

Would I be correct in assuming from your post would that you don't really know a lot about religious life as it is practiced in convents today? Because there are a lot of 'what if's' that are very negative and almost fearful - and most of them seem a bit over the top.

 

But in case there are others who have the same fears that you do, let me reassure you on a point by point basis.

 

1) most communities today try to use the skills and abilities that a sister brings into their community - simply because it is common sense and beneficial for the community. If however, a sister is not able to use a particular skill immediately due to other formation or other duties, God often has a way of opening up opportunities for the sister that no one could have predicted. One sister I knew had a Bachelors degree in music and a Masters in math (or vice versa, I can't remember). She ended up playing the organ and helping other sisters with singing as well as doing the account books for the convent.

 

Or a sister who had a skill that really wasn't necessary in the convent (perhaps being a world class ice skater), might end up developing new skills that she never knew she had. And in a very rare case, a sister who can sing might find herself going on The Voice and winning!! :) (true story) There is also the 'Cheese Nun' from Regina Laudis who was allowed to study for her PhD by moving to France for a year I think it was and work with cheese makers. If a particular skill or desire to study is important to a woman, then she should check out her potential community with care, to understand what they would support or wouldn't support. 

 

2) I can't imagine a convent that does not encourage reading. Sure, during formation, there is often an emphasis on certain types of books and or documents (like history of the order, stories of saints, documents of Vatican 2, theology etc), but in all the communities where I have been, reading and/or studying has always been part of the life and my intellect has never been starved for food.

 

3) if the convent does become abusive, and normal official channels don't seem to help the situation, the sister may feel that it is not the right community for her - this is a good thing to determine because no one should live in an abusive relationship. As for being able to leave, if the sister has no money at all to leave, a community will usually help financially, as they certainly do not want anyone to stay against their will. If all else fails, the sister can speak to her Bishop about solutions. I was told that one nun had her fare paid back to China because she simply could not fit into the community where she had entered. Leaving is an incredibly painful process and starting over again in the world can be very difficult, but if the alternative is abuse, then in the long run, it will be worth it. 

 

4) I have never heard of a community that forces its sisters to become contemplative - so I don't know where this idea would be coming from. Sr Marie might be able to give us a better perspective on what it is like to be given an assignment (in an active community) that one doesn't particularly like - but I imagine that is a possibility. I have heard of teaching communities where the sisters get rotated to different schools - and that might be hard to leave a familiar one and start at a new one again, but I doubt any community is going to 'lie' about this possibility in the beginning. Most sisters know that their mission work involves being open to changing assignments and sometimes this might involve a little self-sacrifice. In contemplative communities, assignments within the convent also get changed, but sometimes a change can be a good thing. There is no evil intent in the community needing a sister to change their work.

 

5) sometimes a priest doesn't even have to die - sometimes he gets reassigned by the Diocese, even if he is a paid chaplain of the community. this happened in one Carmel where I was. He was with the community for 3 or 4 years but then the Bishop wanted him in a parish, so we lost him. But we were sent another priest - yes, he did things differently in some ways, but we learned to love him very much too. And yes, priests do celebrate the Mass slightly differently, but I have yet to encounter one who made the liturgy  'jazzy and irreverent'. If that happened, I suppose the community might discuss this with their Bishop. I know one community that did ask to have a priest replaced because he was becoming so infirm, he could barely stand and they were worried about him. He ended up retiring, which was probably best for him. But priests don't grow on trees so it isn't always easy for a community to find someone who can provide Mass every day for them, and they have to make do with some Communion services instead. So I think most communities are grateful just to have a priest!

 

6) if the community decides to make changes to their breviary, habit, use enneagrams, etc., it isn't going to happen overnight. There will be community meetings where those in final vows will discuss and vote on the changes. Some changes might be significant but not deal breakers - such as changing to a modified habit/veil. When something like this is finally decided, the sisters who object to the change are usually allowed to continue on as before, while the majority who voted for it, make the change. One Carmel I was at had modified their habit slightly but changed the veil to eliminate the toque and veil with pins to a one-piece veil. The older sisters who didn't want to change were still allowed to wear their older version of the habit, while the others changed and the new novices were given the modified habit when they were Clothed. Some communities get criticism for this practice because the whole community aren't wearing the same habit, but actually, it is an act of charity towards the older nuns, who find it harder to change.

 

If a sister finds that the community is changing too much for her too quickly (forced enneagrams would do it for me), then she is free to ask for a transfer to another community - but of course she would require permission from both convents to make this possible. Some sisters just accept unwanted changes as a penance or something to offer God through obedience. The point is that nuns today are not unwilling victims being forced into a life they don't want - they are mature women who make a conscious and free-will choice to live a particular lifestyle, knowing full well that in doing so, they will on occasion be asked to make sacrifices and to think of the good of the community rather than only of herself.

 

And a solemnly professed nun cannot be kicked out of her community except for a very serious offence. It's a bit like 'tenure' for a university professor. :)

 

I hope this settles some of your concerns about religious life? There are a lot of 'what ifs' in life - because no one knows the future. That's where trust in God comes in handy. What if everything falls apart (as it has for me), over and over again (as it has for me), and everything seems hopeless (as it has for me)? Well, what if God steps in and writes straight with my crooked lines? As He has for me, time after time after time. Trust. Patience, perseverance, persistence. And lots of love. :heart:

 

 

 

Edited to respond to your last post:  Nuns and sisters ARE brides of Christ, regardless of what some CVs say. The Church sees them that way, and many religious women still receive a wedding ring as part of their solemn (final) vows. I have attended several solemn professions of Carmelites and the Bishop himself spoke of her becoming a bride of Christ and of receiving her veil as a symbol of that. The OCarms that I know wear a wedding ring that they receive at solemn profession, although the OCDs see their black veil as their wedding ring. I know that some CVs want to quote all these theological texts that ensure that they are the ONLY brides of Christ and no one else - but nuns don't see it that way, I can assure you. But I don't want to open up that debate again here. Just be assured that not everyone sees things the same way.

 

Some communities like Regina Laudis still do the consecration of virgin rite, but most orders don't these days. If that matters to you, then make sure you check with the community when you make your inquiries.

Edited July 12, 2014 by nunsense

[BarbTherese]

Oremus1 - Do you have spiritual director and/or spoken with the Vocations Director in your diocese about your questions and concerns?....including your final paragraph, which are theological questions rather often debated by CV's it seems to me - and this is fair enough, but you may need to consult some sort of expert to sort out the answers for yourself and perhaps an expert with no personal investment in the answers.

And it may take spiritual direction over an extended period to discern where God might be calling you.  I am hoping you do have a sound spiritual director.  Discerning one's vocation and call from God is very serious business as I am sure you are aware.

Catholic discussion sites can be a wonderful resource indeed and I would be lost I think without them.  At times, they can also be confusing possibly - and simply due to the diversity of opinions and concepts and another "fair enough".

 

[oremus1]

Oremus1 - Do you have spiritual director and/or spoken with the Vocations Director in your diocese about your questions and concerns?....including your final paragraph, which are theological questions rather often debated by CV's it seems to me - and this is fair enough, but you may need to consult some sort of expert to sort out the answers for yourself and perhaps an expert with no personal investment in the answers.

And it may take spiritual direction over an extended period to discern where God might be calling you.  I am hoping you do have a sound spiritual director.  Discerning one's vocation and call from God is very serious business as I am sure you are aware.

Catholic discussion sites can be a wonderful resource indeed and I would be lost I think without them.  At times, they can also be confusing possibly - and simply due to the diversity of opinions and concepts and another "fair enough".

 

 

i do have an SD. But it is good to talk online too to other young women who understand RL. I was preparing for the CV vocation for the past few years. Before that I thought I was called to a secular insitute. this is going back over 10 years. I never felt called to be a nun so never really considered it in detail before. It was very sudden.

[BarbTherese]

I hope that you SD is a good one, and will help you discern your vocation - as well as talk to others who have experienced religious life or may be considering it and this can be a rewarding experience - providing you do not allow yourself to be confused over different opinions etc. and not all do experience confusion.  And if one does, then to stay with that confusion until one is able to sort it all out for oneself.

 

Sometimes, God can, as nunsense pointed out, "write straight in crooked lines".  Meaning in your instance that initially you thought a secular institute then a CV vocation and now religious life which I think perhaps may be confusing to you since the call came suddenly.  Sometimes a real vocation and call can come suddenly.  To my way of thinking, I would be relying on my SD for advice as to the way forward for you.  This does not mean at all that you do not talk with others, unless of course your SD advises it and has sound reasons for doing so.

 

God bless you in your discerning............Barb :)

I am not at all young, well past my twenties into my late sixties - and I am not discerning my vocation.  I am called to lay celibate state with private vows and a specific way of life.  My experiences in religious life was long ago and not at all lengthy and I left of my own accord and choice both times.

 

Edited July 12, 2014 by BarbaraTherese