How Did You Decide Your Vocation?

[Anastasia13]

How did you decide your vocation?

[Anastasia13]

Perhaps realize is the better word.

[OnlySunshine]

I still haven't figured out what vocation I'm called to.  I'm pretty sure it's not marriage as I don't feel drawn to that route.  More and more, I feel like I'm called to stay single and be consecrated as a virgin, or as a religious Sister, or in a secular institute.  Narrowing it down is tough when you don't have a spiritual director but I'm hoping to get one soon since our new priest has been one before.  I'm giving him time to settle in for a few weeks before asking, though.  :)

Edited July 7, 2014 by MaterMisericordiae

[Spem in alium]

I feel pretty confident I'm being called to religious life. I have been actively discerning for over two years, and what's helped me most is prayer, talking to people (priests, Sisters, friends, family, acquaintances), having spiritual direction, going on retreats, and mostly, just being open to the movement of the Spirit in my life. Utilising all these things has helped me to realise that while I do think I would make a good wife and mother, I'm very drawn to religious life and believe that as a Sister I'd truly be living what God desires for me personally. 
 

Realising this is one thing; it's a whole different story when you act on it. I've found that courage is very important in discernment, as is stirring the waters a bit and trying new things. Tackling challenges and taking perceived risks is part of what's helped me to grow in my journey, as I've come to recognise that I'm really not doing it alone.

 

[TheresaThoma]

Pray about it. Talk with a few trusted people about it. For me it was a gradual process. It went from "There is no way I could do that" to "wow this might be something that I could do" to "this is something I feel like God might be calling me to do, and I want to do it". Obviously I won't know for sure until I make final vows or get married what I am called to but God has opened up many doors along this path.

 

Spem you are totally right about courage being important in discernment. Each time you take another step it can be really scary. Whether it is sending that first email, signing up for a retreat or telling the Vocation Directress that you think you might be called to her community. It can take a lot of courage to do it.

[chrysostom]

I'm in the beginning stages of discerning religious life.  There was one night I realized that I desired a religious vocation - and if I really do end up entering religious life I might look back on that night and say I realized my vocation.  But at this point it's just a desire.  From here on out I am finding out whether I actually will enter religious life and that process won't end till I profess final vows - or not.  That's going to take me several years of just living the Catholic life, talking with communities, reading books, having spiritual direction, doing a lot of prayer, and hopefully going through postulancy and temporary vows.

[marigold]

My godmother took me to a monastery and I loved it. You know that feeling when you meet someone for the first time and you know you're going to be friends?

[1054]

For those discerning religious life -- in your experience did you feel specifically called to a certain order which helped you realize your vocation -- or after realizing your vocation have you then had to discern which order you feel called to enter? 

Sorry for the awkward wording, I realize it's a rather strange question.  The thought was prompted by marigold's comment, "My godmother took me to a monastery and I loved it. You know that feeling when you meet someone for the first time and you know you're going to be friends?" 

I find the differences between Catholic and Orthodox monasticism incredibly interesting.  I've often pondered the variances given that the Catholic orders seem to give one a clearer view of the particular method behind the monastery right from the outset.  With Orthodox monasticism you're not necessarily going to know what to expect to the same degree.  This isn't meant to imply that all monastic communities within a Catholic order are cookie cutter replications, or that Orthodox monasteries are all completely different with no outward indication, it's merely a sweeping generalization. 
 

[petitpèlerin]

I've struggled between religious life and marriage. I see the beauty of both vocations, the way they manifest the love of God in the world, and I desire both kinds of loves, both human and divine. Looking at it from the angle of love, I was at a standstill. I couldn't decide/discern, because I deeply desired them both. I finally started looking at it from the angle of motherhood: which kind of motherhood did I desire more, natural or spiritual? From there it became clear that as much as I would love to love and be loved by a man I really don't want to be the mother of a family. It's not the life I desire. If I lived according to the world's values I could easily be married and not have children, but that's not God's plan for marriage. God's plan for marriage is that you're open to having children, and when I got really honest with myself I realized that I'm actually not really open to having children, because when you have children you don't have enough time for God, at least not enough for me. ;)

Another thing I've noticed is how happy I feel when I'm with my community and (if I'm really honest) how unhappy I feel when I'm living my life in the world. I hadn't been able to see my community since December due to my job, and then I went and spent a week with them in early June, and I just came alive. I mean, I try to live my life with Christian joy and make the best of all situations but it's clear to me that the things I'm doing now are not what I'm called to do, they're just temporary, and there's nothing else in the world that I want to do, that I feel called to do. The only thing left is to give everything up to grow closer to God in religious life. Everything I truly want in the world is in the life of these sisters.

There's been plenty more to my discernment than just that. Every single thing in my life points me to religious life. It's just been a matter of the time being ripe.

[Credo in Deum]

My discernment has been very chaotic in a way.  Lot's of highs and lows, and at times a feeling of being stuck in a kind of discernment limbo where there is nothing but dryness.  The first time I felt a calling to the priesthood, I actually ignored the call.  Mostly because of pride, feelings of unworthiness, and fear. Yet despite these things the call has quietly persisted and I have come to accept that there is only one way to satisfy it and that is by pursuing it.  The irony is now I am in a health situation which is making it difficult to pursue this calling.   I joke with God and say this is payback for ignoring Him. I've also realized the sobering truth that we can miss our calling by not responding promptly to God's call, so I have been asking Him for the grace to accept this reality if this happens to me as well as to be open for whatever He does will for me.  Just because I feel called doesn't mean I actually am called.  Even in the seminary there could be a chance I would get to year 7 of formation and then find out I'm not called.   As my parish priest told me; "No man will ever know for sure that they have a calling, until the Bishop ordains them. Then and only then will you know for sure.  Until then be open to anything God may send you." 

Edited July 7, 2014 by Credo in Deum

[arfink]

How did I decide?

 

Well, it was actually much harder than it sounds: I investigated ways in which I could love and serve God in this life, and picked the one which I thought would be the most realistic. Then after picking, I attempted to do it, without looking much at the other options. If it failed, I'd go back to step one. It failed a lot. But now I'm getting married in August. So yeah, it can work.

 

Don't sweat missing your calling or anything like that. You only need one thing: love and serve God. Whatever you do in life, even if you just seem to "wind up" doing it, if you do it to love and serve God, you're all good. :)

Edited July 7, 2014 by arfink

[Credo in Deum]

Here is a prayer that I love by, Thomas Merton.  Yet even though I love this prayer I'm very cautious of his later works since he seemed to be slipping away from the Catholic Faith near the end of his life. 

 

 

Prayer of Thomas Merton

My Lord God,
I have no idea where I am going.

I do not see the road ahead of me
Nor do I really know myself,
And the fact that I think I am following your will
Does not mean that I am actually doing so.

But I believe that the desire to please you
Does in fact please you.
And I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire.
And I know that if I do this,
You will lead me by the right road
Though I may know nothing about it.

Therefore will I trust you always though,
I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. * I will not fear, for you are ever with me,
And you will never leave me to face my struggles alone.

 

 

 

Edited July 7, 2014 by Credo in Deum

[AccountDeleted]

I didn't decide on my vocation. This is what happened...   :)

 

 

 

Jeremiah, Chapter 20

 

7 You seduced me, LORD, and I let myself be seduced;

 

you were too strong for me, and you prevailed.

 

All day long I am an object of laughter;

 

everyone mocks me.

 

8 Whenever I speak, I must cry out,

 

violence and outrage I proclaim;

 

The word of the LORD has brought me

 

reproach and derision all day long.

 

9 I say I will not mention him,

 

I will no longer speak in his name.

 

But then it is as if fire is burning in my heart,

 

imprisoned in my bones;

 

I grow weary holding back,

 

I cannot!

:giveup: :nun1:

  

[marigold]

For those discerning religious life -- in your experience did you feel specifically called to a certain order which helped you realize your vocation -- or after realizing your vocation have you then had to discern which order you feel called to enter? 

Sorry for the awkward wording, I realize it's a rather strange question.  The thought was prompted by marigold's comment, "My godmother took me to a monastery and I loved it. You know that feeling when you meet someone for the first time and you know you're going to be friends?" 

I find the differences between Catholic and Orthodox monasticism incredibly interesting.  I've often pondered the variances given that the Catholic orders seem to give one a clearer view of the particular method behind the monastery right from the outset.  With Orthodox monasticism you're not necessarily going to know what to expect to the same degree.  This isn't meant to imply that all monastic communities within a Catholic order are cookie cutter replications, or that Orthodox monasteries are all completely different with no outward indication, it's merely a sweeping generalization. 
 

 

You've stumbled upon my hobby!

[Cantantibus]

For those discerning religious life -- in your experience did you feel specifically called to a certain order which helped you realize your vocation -- or after realizing your vocation have you then had to discern which order you feel called to enter?

Well, when I first felt called to the religious life, I hated the idea. Thankfully, it was my experiences with sisters (ex: learning that sisters are still people who laugh, play, talk, etc) that helped me see that religious life could be a possibility.