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Divorce, In-laws, Natural Marriages


chrysostom

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chrysostom

(to clarify, none of my family is Catholic)

 

A family member got a divorce recently.  :( (please say a prayer!)  Now both husband and wife are baptized Protestants so their marriage was not sacramental.  But I'm conflicted and sad when my family says the in-laws "aren't family any more".  Do natural marriages and inter-familial bonds evaporate with two signatures on a piece of paper?  I'm still a little bit fuzzy-wuzzy on the Catholic perspective of non-sacramental marriages.

 

There's almost an eagerness to cease all contact with the in-laws that basically only appeared the moment the divorce came through - quite different from the attitude beforehand.  It just rankles with me, I guess.

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(to clarify, none of my family is Catholic)

 

A family member got a divorce recently.  :( (please say a prayer!)  Now both husband and wife are baptized Protestants so their marriage was not sacramental.  But I'm conflicted and sad when my family says the in-laws "aren't family any more".  Do natural marriages and inter-familial bonds evaporate with two signatures on a piece of paper?  I'm still a little bit fuzzy-wuzzy on the Catholic perspective of non-sacramental marriages.

 

There's almost an eagerness to cease all contact with the in-laws that basically only appeared the moment the divorce came through - quite different from the attitude beforehand.  It just rankles with me, I guess.

 

Actually if they were validly baptized (which most Protestants are) then this does count as a sacramental marriage.  

 

In-laws are not family in any official way that I can think of.  I am pretty sure they are not considered next-of-kin or in line for inheritance.  They are only as much family as people want them to be.  If you still want them to be family after a divorce, then they are.

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chrysostom

Actually if they were validly baptized (which most Protestants are) then this does count as a sacramental marriage. 

 

Ah.  I need to read some more Catechism and Catholic Encyclopedia.  Well that makes it all the more disheartening.

 

 

In-laws are not family in any official way that I can think of.  I am pretty sure they are not considered next-of-kin or in line for inheritance.  They are only as much family as people want them to be.  If you still want them to be family after a divorce, then they are.

 

Right, but it's not just that, it's "she's not your sister-in-law anymore" - to which I want to say "but she is!"

 

I guess I muddied the issue a little by mixing the manner of relations with the family of my sister-in-law with the question of the marriage itself, sorry.

Edited by chrysostom
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Anastasia13

Ah.  I need to read some more Catechism and Catholic Encyclopedia.  Well that makes it all the more disheartening.

 

 

Right, but it's not just that, it's "she's not your sister-in-law anymore" - to which I want to say "but she is!"

 

I guess I muddied the issue a little by mixing the manner of relations with the family of my sister-in-law with the question of the marriage itself, sorry.

She probably is, unless there was an annulment, but most Protestants probably won't see it that way. Marriage is not the same to many Protestants.

Edited by Light and Truth
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Ah.  I need to read some more Catechism and Catholic Encyclopedia.  Well that makes it all the more disheartening.

 

 

Right, but it's not just that, it's "she's not your sister-in-law anymore" - to which I want to say "but she is!"

 

I guess I muddied the issue a little by mixing the manner of relations with the family of my sister-in-law with the question of the marriage itself, sorry.

 

As far as Church teaching is concerned, she is still your sister-in-law.  So go ahead and say it.

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chrysostom

As far as Church teaching is concerned, she is still your sister-in-law.  So go ahead and say it.

 

OK, thanks.  I'll see how they react.  :unsure:

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chrysostom

Also, considering his personality there is a rather strong possibility of his getting married (or "married") again at some point.  Given that as far as Church teaching is concerned, whoever the new spouse is will NOT in fact be my brother's wife and no sacrament will take place, would this entail anything for a Catholic regarding attending weddings or something?  Augh.

Edited by chrysostom
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CatherineM

My Mom had decent relationships with her ex-daughters in law. They were still the mothers of her grandchildren. Family is who you make it. My "kids" are throw aways.

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chrysostom

Family is who you make it. My "kids" are throw aways.

 

God bless you for that!

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