Perigrina Posted July 1, 2014 Share Posted July 1, 2014 Yeah, there is a huge social expectation that fat men are good at sports and are necessarily good business men. Honey, it must be a paradise in Canada if you think society doesn't judge fat men. Men just aren't as mean to each other as women are when it's people you know. That is not what I said. I know that society judges fat men too. I'm saying that men are not as dependent on attractiveness as women are for their self-esteem. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fidei Defensor Posted July 1, 2014 Share Posted July 1, 2014 Men are different from women. In case anybody did not know that. Men do not feel the same way about their physical appearance that women do and it does not make sense to treat them as equivalent. I hate how my body looks and it makes me feel really insecure :( I know that's its not common for men to feel that way, but I do Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Perigrina Posted July 1, 2014 Share Posted July 1, 2014 I hate how my body looks and it makes me feel really insecure :( I know that's its not common for men to feel that way, but I do I can see that if you feel this way, my comment could have been hurtful. I am sorry if I hurt you or anyone else. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Credo in Deum Posted July 1, 2014 Share Posted July 1, 2014 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhuturePriest Posted July 1, 2014 Author Share Posted July 1, 2014 That is not what I said. I know that society judges fat men too. I'm saying that men are not as dependent on attractiveness as women are for their self-esteem. I don't necessarily buy into the theory that women rely on attraction to get married more than men do. According to study after study, about 75% of women in America would never consider dating me because I'm only 5'5". I've never seen a study saying 75% of men won't date women who don't have C cups. I honestly don't like the constant "We hurt more than you do" approach we have so often on Phatmass and in society in general. Men get paid more and are more successful than most women. But you have to consider most women get married and are stay-at-home moms. Women are assaulted more, objectified, and are more often victims of sexual violence. By the same token, men have a much higher percentage of getting into car accidents, dropping out of high school, and getting into hardcore drugs and lawbreaking. Men have much higher chances of not reporting being raped or sexually assaulted than women, and there are staggeringly high rates of men who don't report domestic violence done on them by their wives due to social taboo. Many men who report sexual violence aren't believed, and are told there's no way it happened because they are men, and it "only happens to girls". Each gender has its statistical and societal downsides, and I think we should just admit society treats both genders badly and try to fix all of it, rather than fixating and crying out injustice on just one gender. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhuturePriest Posted July 1, 2014 Author Share Posted July 1, 2014 I hate how my body looks and it makes me feel really insecure :( I know that's its not common for men to feel that way, but I do Many more men than you'd think possible feel the same way. Don't think for a second that you're a statistical anomaly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Perigrina Posted July 1, 2014 Share Posted July 1, 2014 I don't necessarily buy into the theory that women rely on attraction to get married more than men do. According to study after study, about 75% of women in America would never consider dating me because I'm only 5'5". I've never seen a study saying 75% of men won't date women who don't have C cups. I honestly don't like the constant "We hurt more than you do" approach we have so often on Phatmass and in society in general. Men get paid more and are more successful than most women. But you have to consider most women get married and are stay-at-home moms. Women are assaulted more, objectified, and are more often victims of sexual violence. By the same token, men have a much higher percentage of getting into car accidents, dropping out of high school, and getting into hardcore drugs and lawbreaking. Men have much higher chances of not reporting being raped or sexually assaulted than women, and there are staggeringly high rates of men who don't report domestic violence done on them by their wives due to social taboo. Many men who report sexual violence aren't believed, and are told there's no way it happened because they are men, and it "only happens to girls". Each gender has its statistical and societal downsides, and I think we should just admit society treats both genders badly and try to fix all of it, rather than fixating and crying out injustice on just one gender. Usually I am the one making this speech. I completely agree with you about how hard things are for men and how unreasonable the "women as victims" narrative is. I really did not mean to sound like I was buying into "we hurt more than you do". I just wanted to say that women and men deal with physical attractiveness differently. But the pain that men feel around this subject is just as real and important. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fidei Defensor Posted July 1, 2014 Share Posted July 1, 2014 I can see that if you feel this way, my comment could have been hurtful. I am sorry if I hurt you or anyone else. It's alright, I know you didn't mean harm :) I just thought I'd point it out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Perigrina Posted July 1, 2014 Share Posted July 1, 2014 It's alright, I know you didn't mean harm :) I just thought I'd point it out. Thank you. I appreciate it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Credo in Deum Posted July 1, 2014 Share Posted July 1, 2014 Huffpost is full of it and so is that photographer. This is what real men look like: You're welcome. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrysostom Posted July 1, 2014 Share Posted July 1, 2014 (edited) I honestly don't know how much of this is possible to change because of increasing media saturation. Companies make ads to sell products to the largest amounts of people. If they know that statistically a picture of a guy with a six-pack is going to sell their aftershave better than a picture of your average Joe, they will use that picture with the chiseled guy 100% of the time. Yes, advertisements are trendsetters in a way but each company's top priority will always be the bottom line. Honestly I was glad that my early years had comparatively little media saturation. There's so much junk out there that can affect you more deeply than you realized at the time. Edited July 1, 2014 by chrysostom Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Credo in Deum Posted July 1, 2014 Share Posted July 1, 2014 I guess looking for average joes in the modeling world is like looking for strippers at a ballet or vice versa. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Perigrina Posted July 1, 2014 Share Posted July 1, 2014 Huffpost is full of it and so is that photographer. This is what real men look like: You're welcome. Seriously, I find the "fat" one more attractive. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Semper Catholic Posted July 1, 2014 Share Posted July 1, 2014 It's so hard being an upper mmiddle class white Christian man these days. The struggle is real. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhuturePriest Posted July 1, 2014 Author Share Posted July 1, 2014 It's so hard being an upper mmiddle class white Christian man these days. The struggle is real. I live below the poverty line. Try again, Semper. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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