bernadette d Posted June 29, 2014 Share Posted June 29, 2014 Phatmass can be a wonderful place but it can also give rise to much misunderstanding.I am in this situation at present,and if it were not for posting Father's sermons I would "bow out" now. I was told that " everyone on here seems to PM everyone else" and therefore, it seems I am not to be trusted, that I am "possibly urged on by others" to try to find out and pass on details about another member, when, in fact, I was asking out of true concern. I virtually never use PM anyway, certainly not for that purpose. No-one likes their integrity questioned and I can certainly do without the hassle. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnneLine Posted June 29, 2014 Share Posted June 29, 2014 I have no clue who would have written such a thing, but it makes me sad. You have always been a lovely member of Phatmass, and if someone suspected a problem, that was NOT the right way to deal with it. Thank you for what you post from Father, and thank you for being a member of our community. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maximillion Posted June 29, 2014 Share Posted June 29, 2014 Don't know what the problem is and don't need to know, just sorry this has happened. Do stay with us, ignore (or report) those who upset you and enjoy the rest of us. :console: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BarbTherese Posted June 29, 2014 Share Posted June 29, 2014 Yes, do please stay on Phatmass. :) In the very best of organizations etc. there are going to be 'flies in the ointment' somewhere or other. I have never ever liked the PM system, although it is very useful at times, though rarely. I certainly would never use it for what is spying on other members and in a covert manner and the usual modus operandi of spies. It does throw into question the integrity of the one who writes seeking some sort of information about another - and the one who gives that information....and if they share that information further via PM....and about some third party without their knowledge. I really think that this is appalling - totally creepy and appalling. And the issue of "private" is totally ignored and surely against Charity for one and a prime "one". What I put into a PM I am careful to observe that I would not be overly concerned if it became public knowledge. My Mum used to say "a secret shared is a secret no longer". I certainly very rarely indeed will PM. I have been made aware that some members do PM each other quite regularly for one reason or another that is not exactly healthy and decidedly suspect. That is "some members" ...........not all and of that I am quite confident. I rarely get one nowadays and happy about it. Barb :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HisChildForever Posted June 29, 2014 Share Posted June 29, 2014 I certainly would never use it for what is spying on other members and in a covert manner and the usual modus operandi of spies. Who on earth even has the time to do that.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CatherineM Posted June 29, 2014 Share Posted June 29, 2014 The only PM's I get are hate mail about something I've posted, or a request for information where the person doesn't want to ask publicly due to embarrassment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lil Red Posted June 29, 2014 Share Posted June 29, 2014 so why don't you pm a mod? or block the offending person(s)? instead of creating a thread about it, which could never cause any drama whatsoever (/sarcasm) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Perigrina Posted June 29, 2014 Share Posted June 29, 2014 I think some drama would make a nice change. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mortify ii Posted June 29, 2014 Share Posted June 29, 2014 This sounds like a private matter that should remain private Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benedictus Posted June 29, 2014 Share Posted June 29, 2014 Phatmass can be a wonderful place but it can also give rise to much misunderstanding.I am in this situation at present,and if it were not for posting Father's sermons I would "bow out" now. I was told that " everyone on here seems to PM everyone else" and therefore, it seems I am not to be trusted, that I am "possibly urged on by others" to try to find out and pass on details about another member, when, in fact, I was asking out of true concern. I virtually never use PM anyway, certainly not for that purpose. No-one likes their integrity questioned and I can certainly do without the hassle. I guess some people can feel suspicious or misread someone else's intentions. There are probably people on here who do message each other in such ways, seeking to pry or gain props with certain people. But we can all control what's shared, and anyone can politely decline to give personal info. If your intentions were good and the person is reacting in ways that upset you then maybe consider just keeping any communications with them superficial, or simply leave them be. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MIKolbe Posted June 29, 2014 Share Posted June 29, 2014 so why don't you pm a mod? or block the offending person(s)? instead of creating a thread about it, which could never cause any drama whatsoever (/sarcasm) much wise wisdom here...and good sarcasm to boot.. good on ya. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ash Wednesday Posted June 29, 2014 Share Posted June 29, 2014 The only time I've used PM is usually just to pass in information in order to get in touch outside of phatmass. I wouldn't take Phatmass disagreements too much to heart. There's only 24 hours in a day and ain't nobody got time for that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BG45 Posted June 30, 2014 Share Posted June 30, 2014 Pretty much what Red said; feel free to PM one of us, report the PM, or block the sender. That anyone has an issue with you is amazing to me, because you're pretty much one of the least offensive people on Phatmass (and I'm definitely including myself in the "more offensive than you" category). I'm sorry that someone is being harsh 'behind the scenes' as it were. Edit: Hope no one minds, but for once I'm gonna lock something pending some mod discussion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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