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Is It Healthy To Take A Break From Discernment?


Blue.Rose

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I think I need to take a break from looking into orders to get my life/health sorted.
My Spiritual Director wants me to look into communites though and contact them but I just don't feel up to it anymore... for now.
Should I take a discernment break?

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domenica_therese

Fall of my sophomore year I thought I was taking a break from discernment when I told God "Lord, if you want me to look into orders you have to just throw one into my lap because I'm not looking anymore!" 

 

The next semester I went to Rome and my theology teacher was a member of the order I'm joining in August.  :annoyed: :P

 

Sometimes what we think is us taking a break is really us just giving the reins back to God.

Edited by domenica_therese
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Can it sometimes be healthy and appropriate to take a break from active discernment?  Yes.

 

Is it healthy and appropriate FOR YOU to be taking a break NOW?  I have no idea.

 

Just off the top of my head (and keep in mind that I'm some random person on the internet on the other side of the world.  So what do I know?  Nothing.) maybe there are some other things going on in your life that need your attention now and if you're trying to be actively discerning and dealing with those other things you'll do both halfway and that would be bad.

 

Or maybe you just have cold feet and need to push yourself ahead a little more and are looking for something, anything to use an excuse.  Because sometimes people do that.

 

So I suggest that you talk to your SD about why you think it's a good idea to be backing off from active discernment for a while.

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Credo in Deum

I think I need to take a break from looking into orders to get my life/health sorted.
My Spiritual Director wants me to look into communites though and contact them but I just don't feel up to it anymore... for now.
Should I take a discernment break?


I say bring this up with your SD, and then do whatever your SD tells you.
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OnlySunshine

I think I need to take a break from looking into orders to get my life/health sorted.
My Spiritual Director wants me to look into communites though and contact them but I just don't feel up to it anymore... for now.
Should I take a discernment break?

 

I've done it a few times and always came back more spiritually refreshed.  Sometimes, discernment can leave you ragged and stress because of your own worries about finding the exact place God is calling you and NOW.  That's how it was for me and I needed some time off to regain my strength through prayer and ministries at Church.  I guess you could say that I'm taking a break now because I'm focused on school.  I also had a lot of trouble finding a spiritual director which a lot of orders want you to have.  Hopefully, that will be resolved soon since a new priest was assigned to our parish who has previously worked as a spiritual director.

 

I think you really need to listen to your heart.  If you feel it's time to take a break, take one.  Just keep your heart open should God call you again.  :)

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veritasluxmea

Ha ha, funny how sometimes a thread you didn't start can answer questions you didn't even know you had...

 

Yes, I think it can be healthy to take a step back. Not saying no to God, just saying yes on His time and his schedule, not your's. Kind of a let go, let God kind of thing. Maybe address other stuff, handle what you need to handle, and try again in different circumstances or after graduating or after moving. I don't know if that's what you need to do, but in general yes, it can be healthy. 

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I think you might have mentioned that you were a fairly recent convert. Maybe you're feeling overwhelmed with trying to "catch up" or "keep up" with your calling to the Church and/or to religious life? That was what I went through for a little while. I wanted to be a nun since I was a li'l baby Calvinist, and my experience of Catholicism has been happy but kind of lonely and hard all along, so I didn't start pursuing a religious vocation just because I was all excited after Confirmation (I was accused of that by a Mother Prioress  :hehe2: ), but it has still been helpful to have had a couple years to grow into my Catholicism. I was seriously discerning during that time period, but I also had to figure out what was helpful, what wasn't, who to trust, who not to trust, and what did and didn't matter (there is a LOT that doesn't matter). I faithfully practiced a few different private devotions for a while and found them beautiful to certain degrees but they're not necessarily for me.

 

Maybe it would be helpful to just discover more about who you are and what you love and let yourself be at peace. Maybe visit the Eucharist when you can and just sit and think with Him. I noticed that, over time, I tended to think along certain patterns during Adoration, and it helped narrow the search for a religious community.

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Short answer: yes.

 

Long answer: yes, heck yes, please do it.

 

If you think about it, God pretty much just wants us to love and serve Him in this life and the next. If you're getting tangled and tired and frustrated and grumpy, do you think any of those things will actually help you to love and serve God better? Or do they just make it harder? Let it go for a while, and God will send it back to you when you need it again.

 

Full disclosure: I left a seminary and tried dating, and it wasn't until I gave up in a fit of frustration and rage and just let everything sit for a while that I finally met my fiancée. I would suggest quitting while you're ahead instead of doing like me and waiting until you get really upset. ;)

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Cantantibus


Sometimes what we think is us taking a break is really us just giving the reins back to God.



Many times I've told God that I'm just gonna take a break from discerning and not worry about it. Every time He just brings the sisters back into my life. Lol. I guess if He doesn't want you to take a break, He'll let you know ;)
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I can tell from my experience that i have done many breaks from my discernment.Sometimes all this can be very stressful.

It is very human and very normal do to so.As i can remember i have done 4 breaks from discernment.Every time i have come beck to continue my discernment.

For me it has been one of the sights that i'm called to religious life.Experience tell me that pushing something if you feeling that it is not good will not end well.

So just take a break heart and God's grace will tell you did you need to come beck.

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